1. “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! It’s hysterical, Mister J! Welp, scratch one slinky stink bomb! Let her have it, Puddin’!”
– Harley Quinn
2. “You’ve got the look. And a lotta nerve. What you don’t have is the right. Joker was a hero. You’re not fit to lick his boutonniere!”
– Harley Quinn
3. “You don’t know who that is? The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime. My former partner in madness. The Harlequin of Hate. The Jester of Genocide. You’ve never heard of him?”
– Harley Quinn
4. “Do you know what a harlequin is? A harlequin’s role is to serve. It’s nothing without a master. And no one gives two sh*ts who we are beyond that.”
– Harley Quinn
5. “Don’t get me wrong, my puddin’s a little rough, but he loves me, really.”
– Harley Quinn
6. “Nice to meet you. Love your perfume. What is that? The stench of death?”
– Harley Quinn
7. “I tried to play by the rules, but no! They wouldn’t let me go straight! Society is to blame!”
– Harley Quinn
8. Dinah Lance: What the hell is up with this bow and arrow sh*t?The Huntress: IT’S NOT A f*ckING BOW AND ARROW. It’s a crossbow! I’m not twelve!Dinah Lance: I love this chick. She’s got rage issues.The Huntress: [getting in her face] I DON’T HAVE RAGE ISSUES!
9. “You can’t deny there’s an element of glamour to these super criminals.”
– Harley Quinn
10. “Sorry, it’s the voices. Haha, I’m kidding… That’s not what they really said.”
– Harley Quinn
11. “I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive.”
– Harley Quinn
12. “I was halfway across town, hungover, and thinking about breakfast.”
– Harley Quinn
13. “If I get mad at you that means I still care. Worry when I don’t get mad.”
– Harley Quinn
14. “Aren’t you glad you wore that? Sexy AND bulletproof!”
– Harley Quinn
15. “And what’s worse, every person I ever wronged now felt free to come and take their pound of flesh. Turns out, I wronged a lot of people.”
– Harley Quinn
16. Harley Quinn: [while arming themselves against Roman’s army] Isn’t this fun? It’s just like a sleepover. We should order pizza, make Cosmos…!Dinah Lance: Harley, focus!
17. “Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.”
– Harley Quinn
18. “So, I’m thinking if we move together, we can kill all these guys and go our separate ways. Spread the word.”
– Harley Quinn
19. “If you want boys to respect you, show them you’re serious. Shoot something, blow it up!”
– Harley Quinn
20. Never again. No more obsession, no more craziness, no more Joker. I finally see that slime for what he is: a murderous, manipulative, irredeemable…
– Harley Quinn
21. “Face it, Harl, this stinks! You’re a certified nutso wanted in twelve states and hopelessly in love with a psychopathic clown.”
– Harley Quinn
22. “We’re finished you and me. I’ve got someone new now. Someone better.”
– Harley Quinn
23. “We can’t change the past, but there’s a difference between moving on and letting go.”
– Harley Quinn
24. “Hah! You’re just jealous cause you don’t have a fella who’s as loving and loyal toy you as my Puddin’ is to me!”
– Harley Quinn
25. “I must let the world know about my craving. I want pancakes and I want them now!”
– Harley Quinn
26. “Why can’t a girl be nice to a guy without the mook trying to murder her?”
– Harley Quinn
27. “They say if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning.”
– Harley Quinn
28. “Ladies and jerks! There’s been a slight change in tonight’s show. Instead of the opera robbin you for something like a thousand bucks a seat — we’re gonna rob you! Believe me, folks, I’ve seen it already. I’m doin’ ya a big favor!”
– Harley Quinn
29. “If I’m lucky, I’ll make it out of town before Bats hauls my heinie back to the bin.”
– Harley Quinn
30. “Oh, I fell hard. Like out of a plane without a parachute, right in your dumb f*cking face kinda hard.”
– Harley Quinn
31. “Some people have the Eiffel Tower, or Olive Garden. The Joker and I? Our love bloomed in a highly toxic industrial processing plant.”
– Harley Quinn
32. Harley Quinn: [as they’re fighting off Roman’s army] Hair tie?Dinah Lance: Yeah.
33. Harley Quinn: [handing out lime margaritas, to Cassandra] You drink, right, kid?Cassandra Cain: Sure.Renee Montoya: [plucks it away] I don’t think so.
34. “If I’m mad enough to skip the tears and go straight to laughing, you better run cause I’m about to lose my sh*t.”
– Harley Quinn
35. “I think you should do what he says. It would be a shame to get blood all over my nice new outfit. What do you think, Bat-brain? Like it? What am I saying? ‘Course you do. Who wouldn’t?”
– Harley Quinn
36. “Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.”
– Harley Quinn
37. “You thought I was just another bubble-headed blonde bimbo! Well, the joke’s on you, ’cause I’m not even a real blonde.”
– Harley Quinn
38. “My love for my Joker was stronger than their madhouse walls.”
– Harley Quinn
39. “If you’ve ever watched any cop movie ever, you know that this is when sh*t gets real.”
– Harley Quinn
40. “Unless we all want to die very unpleasant deaths, we’re going to have to work together.”
– Harley Quinn
41. “I’m having a bad day! I’m sick of people trying ta shoot me, run me over or blow me up! All I wanted was a new dress and I actually paid for it!”
– Harley Quinn
42. “I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are absolutely awesome.”
– Harley Quinn
43. “Being Joker’s girl gave me immunity.”
– Harley Quinn
44. “I’m not shopping at this store – I’m robbing this store. Paying is for dummies!”
– Harley Quinn
45. “I found The Joker’s psyche disturbing, his dementia alarming — and his charm irresistible! What can I tell ya? The guy just did it for me.”
– Harley Quinn
46. “And that is why you should never partake in paying federal income taxes.”
– Harley Quinn
47. “We all know the saying, “Behind every successful man, there’s a badass broad.” Well, that was me.”
– Harley Quinn
48. Harley Quinn: You’re not going to try to run, are you?Cassandra Cain: Look, if there’s really a half mil on my head, I figure I’m better off with the person who’s not going to cut me open.Harley Quinn: Fine. But if you try to run, I will kill you. I do not care that you’re a kid.
49. “Hush, little baby, don’t say a word, Momma’s gonna kill for you the whole world.”
– Harley Quinn
50. “It soon became clear to me the Joker, so often described as a raving, homicidal madman … was actually a tortured soul crying out for love and acceptance. A lost, injured child trying to make the world laugh at his antics.”
– Harley Quinn
51. “Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought the guy was meant to get the girl a diamond.”
– Harley Quinn
52. Harley Quinn: Oh hey, you’re that singer no one listens to.Dinah Lance: Oh hey, you’re the asshole no one likes.
53. “I’m sorry, kid. And I’m sorry I tried to sell you. That was a dick move. For what it’s worth, you made me want to be a less terrible person.”
– Harley Quinn
54. “Six bucks for tap water with a f*cking cucumber stick in it? That’s crazy.”
– Harley Quinn
55. Sionis’ Chauffeur: You broke my f*cking legs!Harley Quinn: [mockingly] Oh, boo-hoo.
56. “Whatever you say, Mistah J! Just gimme a sec to find the form and I’ll commit myself!”
– Harley Quinn
57. “I’ll never understand why Superman wears the same outfits every day.”
– Harley Quinn
58. “Every woman has a crazy side that only the right man can bring out.”
– Harley Quinn
59. “What, you were just thinking you can have a happy family and coach little leagues, and make car payments? Normal is a setting on the dryer. People like us, we don’t get normal!”
– Harley Quinn
60. Cassandra Cain: Oh sh*t, is that a hyena in the bathtub?Harley Quinn: I named him Bruce after that hunky Wayne guy.
61. “And here you thought I was just another bubble headed, blonde, bimbo. Ha! Well jokes on you! I’m not even a real blonde.”
– Harley Quinn
62. Dinah Lance: [after Zsasz’s killed; pointing her gun at Harley] I’m not letting you sell the kid to him.Harley Quinn: I wasn’t going to sell the kid. I was going to trade the kid.Dinah Lance: Yeah. To save your own stupid skin. Huh?Harley Quinn: I’m not proud of what I did. But I had half the city after me.
63. “The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange.”
– Harley Quinn
64. “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and makes a six-inch-diameter exit wound in you.”
– Harley Quinn
65. “You know, for what it’s worth, I actually enjoyed some of our romps, but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And now, all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin’ sweetheart.”
– Harley Quinn
66. “I’ve made so many mistakes and there’s no one left who believes in me.”
– Harley Quinn
67. “You think I’m just a doll. A doll that’s pink and light. A doll you can arrange any way you like. You’re wrong. Very wrong. What you think of me is only a ghost of time. I am dangerous. And I will show you just how dark I can be.”
– Harley Quinn
68. “It was the kick in the balls she needed to see that she had nothing to prove to those blowhard assholes.”
– Harley Quinn
69. “I love him not for the way he silenced my demons, but for the way his demon dances with mine.”
– Harley Quinn
70. “Why don’t I own the crossbow killer? I like crossbows!”
– Harley Quinn
71. “I’m the one they should be scared of. Boo! Not you! Not Mister J! Because I’m Harley freaking Quinn!”
– Harley Quinn
72. Renee Montoya: I underestimated you and I’m sorry.Harley Quinn: [shrugs] I’m used to it.
73. “Now you feel like you have someone by your side to share the journey with you.”
– Harley Quinn
74. “That so cute, you think you’re scary. Well, mister, I’ve seen scary and you don’t have his smile.”
– Harley Quinn
75. “I know how the world works, okay? And when it comes to the heart, everyone for themselves, right?”
– Harley Quinn
76. “Know what a harlequin is? A harlequin’s role is to serve. An audience. A master. You know, a harlequin’s nothing without a master.”
– Harley Quinn
77. “I’m sorry, kid, I’m just a terrible person I guess.”
– Harley Quinn
78. “Oh, come on, Puddin’! Don’t you wanna rev up your ‘Harley’? Vroom vroom.”
– Harley Quinn
79. “She calls herself Huntress. F**cking fabulous if you ask me.”
– Harley Quinn
80. “When I was a kid, my dad traded me for a six-pack of beer. But however many times he tried to ditch me I kept coming back.”
– Harley Quinn
