Watching the Cipher-Verse - Mandalore_the_Atreides (2024)

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Cipher-Verse

Chapter Text

Phineas woke up to find himself in his backyard. He wasn’t alone either since Ferb, Candace, Stacy, Jeremy, Baljeet, Isabella, Buford, Vanessa, her dad…oh, hey! There was Carl and his dad too. He hadn’t seen them since they’d met. There was also Fireside Troop 46231, and finally…

“There you are Perry.”

The platypus made his classic chattering sound.

“Uh…Carl? How did we end up in Flyn-Fletchers’ backyard?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

The two men from OWCA looked at Doofenshmirtz.

“Don’t look at me. I didn’t do this. At least I don’t think I did. And if this is my fault, it wasn’t intentional. My New Year’s resolution was to give up evil for good-Wait a minute! New Year’s! Where’s all the snow?!”

Everyone looked around to see that it was a summer day. Which was weird because last night was New Year’s Eve.

Candace narrowed her eyes at her brothers.

“Alright, what did you do?” she said, crossing her arms.

“I don’t think we did anything. Ferb?”

The green haired boy shook his head.

“Then why is it summer all of the sudden?! And how did we all get in our backyard?!”

“This isn’t the backyard,” they heard Isabella say. She was standing in the tree, frantically looking in every direction.

“How can you tell, Isabella?” Phineas asked, not even doubting her for a moment.

“Because the rest of Danville is gone!”

“What?!” everyone present shouted.

Vanessa immediately opened the gate and saw that there was nothing but blue sky beyond the front yard. Not even the ground.

Everyone was silent.

“…Okay, just to be clear, I did not do this,” Heinz said.

Dipper woke up with a groan.

“Mabel? You there?”

“Dipper? Yeah, I’m…Back in the Shack?!”

“Huh?!”

They looked to see that they were not on the bus like they were when they fell asleep, but in the Mystery Shack’s living room. With them were Stan, Ford, Soos, Wendy, McGucket, Candy, Grenda, Pacifica, Nate, Lee, Robbie, and Tambry. Oh, and Waddles.

“Kids?” Stan asked. “What are you two doing here?”

“How did we get here?” Robbie cut in.

Ford pulled out a scanner and pressed a few buttons. The arrow on the meter immediately went to the red zone and clicked rapidly.

Fiddleford caught a glance and gasped.

“Sweet sarsaparilla! There haven’t been readings like that since Wierdma…Never Mind All That!”

“Uh, guys? Look outside,” Wendy said in an uncharacteristically fearful tone.

Dipper opened the door and froze upon seeing an endless void of red and purple. The colors from Wierdmageddon.

Pacifica, who was standing right behind him, let out an eep and clung to Dipper for dear life.

The boy closed the door and turned to everyone.

“Okay, so nobody go outside and we’ll be fine.” He turned to Pacifica. “You can let go of me now.”

Pacifica’s face blanched and she let go of him before clearing her throat. Mabel saw this and quirked a brow.

“Sixer, any idea what’s going on?” Stan asked his twin.

Ford shook his head.

Anne woke up to feel two weights on top of her. She opened her eyes to see that they were Sasha and Marcy.

Why is it getting hot right now?

The two opened their eyes and immediately got off their friend. Sasha cleared her throat while Marcy looked away to hide her blush.

Anne looked around and gasped.

She was back in the Plantars’ house!

And there they were.

“Sprig! Polly! Hop Pop!”

“Anne!”

All three of them hopped right for her and tackled the teenaer in a hug.

“Lieutenant?” Shasha heard from behind. She beamed upon seeing Grime.

“Grimesy!” she pulled him into a tight hug.

“Olivia! Yunan!” Marcy exclaimed after seeing them. She tried to embrace them both, but tripped over her feet and fell to the floor. “I’m okay.”

“Anne? Where are we?” Oum asked her daughter. Her husband had the same question.

“Why this is our home,” Hop Pop answered. “Please sit down. The couch is quite comfortable.”

The Boonchuy girl looked around the room to see Sasha, Marcy, her parents, Sprig, Polly, Hop Pop, Grime, Olivia, Yunan, Ivy, Maddie, Frobo, Mr. X, and outside was…

“Andrias?”

Everyone looked out the window to see the giant newt awkwardly waving to them.

“Uh…hello everyone. This is awkward. This might not be the best time, but it appears we are surrounded by miles of ocean with no land in sight.”

“What?!”

Sprig hopped through the window to see that the house was not in Wartwood, but a vast ocean.

“How did this happen?” Mr. X queried.

“The last thing I remember is walking through the portal,” Sasha answered. “Then everything went black and I woke up here.”

Anne gazed upon the ocean

“I don’t know what’s going on, but we’re gonna figure this out.”

Luz woke up to the sight of Amity hovering over her.

“Luz! Luz, wake up!”

The human yawned and stretched her arms before hugging her with them, eliciting a blush on Amity’s face.

“Good morning, Sweet Potato,” she said, nuzzling into her neck.

“Luz, as much as I am enjoying this, we have a serious problem.”

“Oh, come on, Amity. After what happened yesterday, it can’t possibly be that bad.”

“The Boiling Isles are gone.”

Luz immediately shot up and ran for the window in her room. She opened it and gasped in horror that the Owl House was surrounded by nothing but the Boiling Oceans for as far as the eye could see.

Noceda gripped her girlfriend by the shoulders and started shaking her.

“Where’s everyone else?! Are they okay?! Are they safe?! Did the Collector do this?!”

“Luz, calm down!” her girlfriend pleaded.

Realizing how rough she was being, the young witch did as asked and chuckled nervously.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Everyone else is in the living room.”

The couple went down the stairs hand in hand and saw everyone else chatting animatedly. All their friends and family were there, including Willow, Gus, Hunter, Edric, Emira, Alador, Eda, King, Raine, Camilla, Lilith, Hooty, Hunter, Darius, Eberwolf, the Collector, and Vee.

Camilla ran up to her daughter and hugged her tightly. Then Stringbean slithered through the air and joined in.

“Mom, what’s going on?”

“We don’t know,” Eda answered. “But whatever it is, I don’t like it.”

King looked to the Collector.

“Hey, Collector, buddy, you didn’t do this, did you?”

The kid snapped his fingers with only little stars coming out.

“My powers aren’t working here. I don’t think we’re even in the Demon Realm.”

“Then where are we,” Luz asked.

“Everyone, look!” Hooty shouted, opening his door.

Suddenly, a door appeared outside. But it wasn’t just any door.

Luz gasped.

“The Portal Door!” She ran right for it and opened it up to see…a movie theater? “Huh?”

Then a letter appeared and was caught by Amity, who began to read it aloud

“Greetings people from the Boiling Isles. I understand that you are scared right now. But please stay calm. You are in no present danger. You are also wondering where you are…”

“…You are all in a junction of dimensions, replicated in the form of your home. It will expand to form the entirety of the towns you came from. I have only made it as such so that you may understand your situation better…” Phineas read to the Danville group.

“…A friend of mine has aided me by pulling you out of your respective dimensions and will return you at the exact moment you left when we are done here. As to why you are all here…” Dipper read to the people from Gravity Falls.

“I’m not overselling it when I say that the fate of everything depends on you,” Anne paused, exchanging worried glances with the Amphibia group. “This situation spans multiple dimensions across different times. I have selected each person and each group because I believe that you will help each other in ways you cannot imagine. For starters, you have more in common than meets the eye…”

“…But why waste time explaining this to you when I can simply show you. This place functions like a mindscape. So we shall be reviewing your past experiences so that you may better understand each other. A door will appear if it hasn’t already. There is a movie theater on the other side. And your pasts have been formatted into shows with episodes and seasons. Makes things easier. Name gags will appear on each person to signify which episode they may join the main room, upon finishing this letter. And tv’s will be in each group’s room so the others may watch as well,” Amity finished.

And just like that, the name tags appeared.

“What do you make of this?” Lilith asked Darius.

The Head of the Abomination Coven rubbed his chin in thought.

“Given the fact that the room is there, and that we don’t seem to have any other choice, it’s best that we play along. But be on guard.

Everyone nodded.

Luz looked down at her tag.

“Well, looks like I’m in the first episode. Later taters!” she said before kissing her girlfriend on the cheek and walking away, with Eda and King following her out. Amity’s face looked like a tomato.

“Do you ever get bored seeing her face like that?” Gus questioned Willow with a smirk.

“Not at all.”

“Me neither.”

The theater was silent. There were four doors in the back. They were all replicas of the ones from the Backyard, Mystery Shack, Plantar Farm, and the Owl House. Those door then opened and out came today’s viewers. From Danville were Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Isabella, Perry, and Doofenshmirtz. From Gravity Falls came Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, and Wendy. Out of Amphibia walked in Anne, Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop. Finally from the Owl House came Luz, Eda, and King. The various individuals began to mingle and exchange names. At least, after the initial surprise of talking frogs.

“Woah! Dude, your head! It’s shaped like a triangle!” Soos exclaimed.

Phineas chuckled.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Cool.”

Stan blinked upon seeing the boy. Then he frowned. I just hope he wasn’t picked on like Ford.

Anne stopped short when she saw Stan.

“Uh, guys? Is it just me, or does he look like the Curator?” quietly and breathless.

“It’s not just you, Anne,” Sprig answered, equally worried.

“Oh my gosh!” Everyone turned to see Mabel pick up Perry and King and hug them. “You two are so cute !”

The platypus just growled, not particularly minding the action. King however, squirmed and tried to push her arms off of him.

“No! Not again! Eda! Luz! Help me!”

His two family members just laughed.

The same could not be said about the Gravity Falls crew, though. They all froze, even Mabel, because that voice sounded a lot like…

Bill, Dipper thought. But it couldn’t be. Stan and Ford erased him.

Mabel immediately put Perry and King down and backed away, causing Eda to raise an eyebrow.

“What’s got all of you so nervous?”

“Nothing to worry about,” a disembodied voice spoke, gaining everyone’s attention. “Greetings. I am your host. And before we begin there are a few things to clarify. As all of you are aware, there exists the Multiverse, made up of infinite Timelines. Timelines are typically made up of multiple Dimensions, or Realms, but time flows the same. Some of you come from a different Dimension but all exist on the same Timeline. In fact, all the humans brought here are from the same Dimension of Earth. But each group has been pulled from a different point in the Timeline. The Gravity Falls group is from 2012. The Danville group is from New Year’s Day in 2013. The Amphibia group is from early 2020. Finally the Owl House group is from November 2020. And in order to prevent any problems with the Time-Space Continuum, a portion of your memories gained here will be forgotten until November 2020. I also ask that you please don’t spoil what happens in your ‘shows,’ or I will have to use a silencing spell.” Everyone looked at each other and nodded. “Good. We will be watching roughly three ‘episodes’ of each ‘show’ a day in chronological order. Sometimes it will be six half length episodes.”

“So that means our show is first?” Heinz asked.

“Yes.”

“Which episodes are we watching today?” Phineas questioned.

“Rollercoaster. Fast and the Phineas. Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror. Flop Starz. Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face. Tree to Get Ready.” The ones who understood what those titles meant smiled fondly. Those were some good days. “Keep in mind that since your group has had so many adventures that for the sake of time, not all of them will be covered. But you are more than free to talk about them during the breaks. Oh, and before I forget, you have lost some memories, but I shall restore them.”

Perry’s eyes widened in alarm.

“What are you…” Phineas trailed off, holding a hand to his head and groaned. The rest from Danville began to do the same thing. Then a metaphorical dam burst inside their heads and everything came back. Traveling to the 2nd Dimension. Meeting the other Doofenshmirtz. Learning Perry was a secret agent. The battle in Downtown. Agreeing to forget that day. Then there was something else, but they couldn’t remember what.

Phineas and Ferb looked down at their pet with wide eyes. He looked back at them nervously. Then they smiled fondly and started petting him.

“Water under the bridge,” the triangle headed boy whispered. “Right Ferb?”

Ferb gave them a thumbs up.

Candace just blinked.

“I still have so many questions. Like what’s that last thing I can’t remember?”

The others nodded in agreement.

“Well, that last memory would be a spoiler for a certain someone in your group. And I do not think now is the time for them to know. Anyways, everyone get seated, and let us begin.”

Chapter 2: Setting the Precedent

Chapter Text

Rollercoaster

The Phineas and Ferb intro plays.

“Oh, wow. That song was nice,” Luz praised.

“Did you guys really do all that?!” Sprig asked excitedly.

Ferb nodded.

“That and so much more,” Phineas said.

“Wow.” Then he leaned over to Polly. “Hey, Sis, do you think you could build all that? You rebuilt Frobo,” he asked in a hushed voice.

“Give me one week on the internet and I’m all set.”
Phineas asks Ferb and Perry what they should today.
Phineas: Well, he's a platypus. They don't do much. I, for one, am starting to get bored, and boredom is something up with which I will not put! The first thing they're gonna ask us when we get back to school is "what did we do over the summer?". I mean, no school for three months. Our life should be a rollercoaster!

Eda and Mabel smiled broadly. They could relate to that outlook.

Phineas: And I mean a good rollercoaster. Not like that one we rode at the state fair...
Flashback on a rollercoaster at the state fair. It goes over one tiny hill then ends.
The audience blinked at the flashback.

“Seriously? That was an actual rollercoaster?” Anne asked.

“It looks so boring,” King added.

“It was,” Phineas answered.

Phineas decides that they're gonna build a rollercoaster

“I meant to ask earlier, how do you kids even afford building all that?” Stan questioned. It took him thirty years to get to where he is now, and these two what? Had tons of money just lying around?

“Yeah, where do you get the money for your projects? You’re not using Mom and Dad’s credit cards are you?” Candace demanded. She may have promised to stop busting them, but that scenario would be really bad.

“Oh no, no, no,” Phineas chuckled. Those funds are from college grants.”

“College grants?” Dipper asked.

“Yeah. Every college we could find funds our projects to gain research and development. And also us as students if we want to when we’re older.

Dipper couldn’t tell if he was jealous or impressed. Maybe both?

Linda heads off to the grocery store and agrees with Candace that if a satellite falls out of orbit and crashes into the house, then she’s in charge.

“Isn’t that a little unlikely?” Wendy asked.

“Actually, with everything I’ve seen in the past six months, it’s very possible,” Candace replied.

Mabel tilted her head and Stan raised a brow. Their mom looked familiar.

Candace comes into the backyard and tells her brothers that she’s watching them and is in charge conditionally.

“Why are you so insistent on being in charge?” Anne asked with a frown. It reminded her of the old Sasha a bit. And not in a good way.

“Well…it took me a while to realize this, but I was really insecure back then,” Candace answered.

Candace is on the phone with Stacy while Phineas and Ferb walk past the glass door with different parts and tools.

“Who’s Stacy?” Mabel.

“Stacy’s my best friend. You’d all like her. I think you’ll meet her later today.”
Candace: Mom left me in charge, so there will be no shenanigans today. What are they doing right now? Why do you ask? What do you mean you can see it from your house? See what?!

“Did you guys already finish it?” Luz asked, amazed.

“You’ll see,” Phineas answered.

Candace runs out to the backyard, she stares in shock upon seeing the rollercoaster, along with horror music.

The other groups’ eyes widened at this.

“You’re already a few dozen feet high and that was in less than a minute ?!” Dipper exclaimed.

“Wow, you dudes work fast,” Soos praised. “It usually takes me a few hours to finish my work.”

The boys beamed with pride. At least Phineas did. Ferb was harder to tell.
Candace: Phineas, what is this?!
Phineas: Do you like it?
Candace: (gets angry) Ooh, I'm gonna tell Mom, and when she sees what you're doing, you are going down! (runs off) Down! Down! Down! D-O-W-N, down!

“Well…on the one hand, I see where you’re coming from. But on the other hand, they look like they’re gonna be fine,” Luz said.

“Can you blame me? These two are kids ! And they’re building a rollercoaster ? They could get hurt!” Candace defended herself. “At least, that’s what I used to think.”

“What do you two think?” Eda asked Stan and Hopediah. “Should her brothers go down for this?”

“Hmmm. When my niece and nephew over there spent the Summer with me, I let them do what they would so long as they didn’t go looking for trouble. And these boys seem to know what they’re doing. So I guess let them off the hook,” Stan answered.

“Well, I don’t know. I think I’m on their sister’s side here. That looks really dangerous,” Hop Pop said. He remembered how Polly tried to rebuild Frobo the first time. It nearly got her killed.

“Well, I for one am all for it! Let those boys live life to the fullest!” She then turned to the brothers in question and gave them a thumbs up. “You’re doing good, boys!”

“Thanks Ms. Eda,” Phineas responded.

Isabella walks into the backyard.
Isabella: (hearts in eyes) Hey, Phineas.

Isabella let out a loud “eep" at the blatant exposure of her crush and blushed a deep red.

Mabel gasped and covered her mouth and let out a quiet “Oh my gosh!” Wendy, Luz , and Anne smirked. Srig smiled at the image, thinking about Ivy. Polly and Stan rolled their eyes. Young love made them sick. Eda chuckled. Candace and Perry blinked. They know Isabella likes Phineas, but real heart eyes? Dang.

“Wow, Isabella,” Phineas began, causing her to suck in a breath. The whole room watched in anticipation. “Since when could you do that with your eyes? It’s amazing! But why hearts?”

The raven haired girl frowned, yet was relieved.

“Oh, you know. Artistic choice.”

He just shrugged.

Ferb and Perry face palmed.

Stan stared at the boy, dumbfounded. This girl was head over heels for him, and he couldn’t see it ?! He would have been leaping at the opportunity when he was that kid’s age.

Eda leaned over to Candace.

“Does he really have no idea?”

She shook her head.

“Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Not a clue. It’s embarrassing really.”

“But she’s so obvious,” Doof cut into the conversation. “I know I don’t know you all very well, but even I can tell that she likes him.”

“My brother is what you would call, smart with math, but stupid with love .”

“Well, I can’t really blame the boy,” Hop Pop began. “You see, I-” He was cut off by a purple symbol appearing over his mouth, silencing him. “Say what?!”

“I’m sorry, Hopediah. But you were about to give away a spoiler.”

“Oh. Right.”

Luz leaned over to Eda.

“Eda, did that look like a glyph combo?”

“I think it did.”

Isabella buries her face in her hands and sighs. Then she feels and hand patting her back and turns to see Dipper giving her a small smile.

“Problems with a crush?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Can I be more obvious?”

“No, but I know what you’re going through. I can’t explain right now because of spoilers, but I understand what you’re going through. And I’m here if you wanna talk to somebody.”

She smiled at him.

“I might just take you up on that.”
Isabella asks if Phineas wants to go swimming, but he tells her he’s busy. She says that she’ll come back for the rollercoaster.

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

Perry walks around the corner of the house. He jumps up, puts on a fedora and walks into a hole in the wall. He goes down a lift, into a lair, where he gets an "Incoming Message".

Everyone’s jaws dropped, minus the ones from Danville. Then they looked at the platypus in the room with them in disbelief.

Perry sighed before sitting up and putting the fedora on his head.

“…I have so many questions right now,” Luz said.

“We can answer your questions at the break,” Ferb offered, to which the others in the room nodded.

Luz had a hundred theories going through her head a minute. Did Perry have some sort of connection to the Demon Realm like giraffes do?
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons unknown to us, he bought up 80% of the country's tin foil. I want you to get over to his hideout right away. Find out what he's up to and put a stop to it. As always Agent P, it is important that your cover identity as a mindless domestic pet remains intact. Now, get out there. We're all counting on you.

“Wait a minute, that was you ? I couldn’t get tin foil for months!” Stan complained.

“You’re evil?” Anne asked with narrowed eyes, her right hand forming a fist.

The others were getting ready for a fight as well. Wendy slowly reached for her ax, while Eda reached for Owlbert.

“Well, I-I mean…I was . I gave it up! I’ve changed,” Heinz defended. “In fact, I don’t think I was ever really evil , I may have just been petty.”

They were about to attack when King jumped in their way.

“Stop! If were still evil he wouldn’t be here. Our host said that we could trust each other. And I don’t know why, but I feel like he’s right.”

The ladies lowered their weapons.

“Fine,” Eda conceded. “But I’ve got my eye on you, Doofus!”

“It’s Doofenshmirtz! It’s a German…ah, forget it,” he sighed in defeat.

Agent P jumps into a platypus-themed hovercraft, and flies through a tunnel. He leaves through a stone and holds his fedora down to hide from Phineas and Ferb.
Phineas: So, the way I see it, the fuel rockets kick in at the mall's parking lot, then we release the snakes during the corkscrew at the interstate. I'm gonna go get the snakes.
“Now boys, I don’t think that’s a very safe idea,” Hop Pop warned.

The pair shrugged.

“No need to be worried, Mr Plantar. Everything worked out fine,” Phineas said.

It didn’t ease the old frog’s worries though. In fact, he was rooting for their sister to get their mom before things got out of hand.

Candace runs into the store and finds Linda and tells her that Phineas and Ferb are building a rollercoaster.

Linda: Candace, seriously, isn't Phineas a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?

Phineas talks to a man in a car factory.
Factory Manager: Aren't you a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?
Phineas: Yes. Yes, I am.

The audience chuckled at that.
The Factory Manager is impressed by their paperwork and even gives them a robot arm that starts building the rollercoaster for them.

“He just gave it to you?!” Stan questioned, perplexed.

“Being helpful goes a long way,” Isabella explained.

“Huh. Soos, right that down so I know how to suck up to people like that!”

The camera zooms in on Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

“Ooh, nice jingle,” Mabel complimented.

“Thank you!” Heinz said.

The audience reluctantly agreed with the little girl.
Agent P swings into the building. Upon greeting him, Doofenshmirtz presses a button, which activates arms that grabs Agent P.

Doofenshmirtz: I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tin foil, and when I put my giant magnet, next to my genius, Magnetism Magnifier, I will pull the East, in westerly direction, thereby reversing the rotation of the earth.

Polly just laughed loudly.

“What’s so funny?” Candace asked the tadpole.

“Oh, you’ll see,” she responded smugly. She knew what was gonna happen.

Back at the store, Ferb puts up a poster, Candace comes over to read it. Candace runs of to get her mom to see the it. Then Pedro and Dmitri take it with them just as Candace brings Linda over. Candace sees that the poster is gone and screams.

“ Ooooooh . So that’s what happened,” Candace said.

“Dang it,” Hopediah muttered.

Phineas and Ferb reveal the coaster. A bird files into it.

Everyone couldn’t help the laugh that escaped their lips
(Everyone gets in and the ride starts. The car goes over the top, and stops, viewing the long drop. Down it goes; the car goes around the coaster, on the track. Everyone screams. Then they go through the drop of snakes.
Phineas: Relax, they're just rubber!

Hop Pop sighed in relief.
The car goes into a bucket of mud, then exits. Later, it goes through a car wash, to be cleaned from the mud.

Hop Pop goes back to being worried again.
They go through the AH-AH-AH-AH!
The audience chuckled at that.

The car zooms around the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building. Agent P sends a screw at Doofenshmirtz, which he ducks for. The screw flies to the roof and hits a line, which throws it back at Doofenshmirtz's foot.

Everyone either burst out laughing or smiled slightly.

“Ha ha! You got stabbed by a screw!” King taunted.

“Go ahead. Laugh at my pain,” Doof grumbled sarcastically.

“Gladly,” Polly giggled.
Doofenshmirtz jumps around and accidentally releases Agent P, who quickly attacks him.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan cheered.

Except for Eda, everyone else gave him a strange look.

“Alright, this looks entertaining,” she conceded.

(Agent P hits Doofenshmitz's foot.) Aaaoow!! (During the fight, Doofenshmirtz activates the Magnetism Magnifier.)

The other groups exchanged worried looks. Polly however grinned and started rubbing her hands together in excitement.
Doofenshmirtz: Now you are too late! Quake in your boots and watch helplessly, as the unimaginable electromagnetic forces, pull the eastern seaboard, thereby reversing the rotation of the Ea--
All the tin foil releases from the buildings.
Doofenshmirtz: Well... that didn't work.

Polly laughed so hard that she fell out of seat.

“Wait, Polly, did you know that would happen?” Anne asked.

“Yep. And that’s not even the best part.”

“What’s the best part?” King questioned.

“Wait one second,” she said gleefully.
(The tin foil forms into a giant ball, flying through the air)
Doofenshmirtz: And now, we have a two-ton ball of tin foil traveling 200 miles per hour directly at us! Quickly, we must separate the magnet from the Magnifier before it's too late!

Polly laughed again and King’s eyes widened.

“ Oooooooooh . That’s the best part.”

At the store, Candace sees the rollercoaster outside and rushes off.

Doofenshmirtz: It's no use! It's no use! We are doomed!
Agent P sees a helicopter. He jumps onto the magnet and fires a grappling hook at it. He quickly wraps some of the rope around the magnet. The helicopter flies off, taking the magnet with it.

“Yes! Grappling hooks forever!” Mabel cheered.

Perry gave her brother a confused look.

“You’ll find out later,” he waved off.
Doofenshmirtz: You did it! You saved us, Perry the Platypus! (The ball of tin foil crashes through the building.) Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

The audience was all laughing now. Except Doof, who just crossed his arms and grumbled something inaudibly.

“How are you still alive?” Hopediah queried.

“Heinz’s Law.”

“What?” Dipper asked.

“I’ll explain after we’re done for today.”
The magnet pulls a piece of the Magnetism Magnifier onto it, and gets stuck on the coaster, which then follows the helicopter into the sky. Candace pulls Linda into the parking lot, only to see that the coaster is gone.

“Okay, I gotta admit, that’s pretty rough,” Luz said.

“Tell me about it,” Candace groaned into her hands.

Candace: Okay, so you think that Phineas and Ferb are still under that stupid tree in the backyard, right?
Linda: Well, yes, that would be my guess.
Candace: Fine, then let's go home, now! (She pushes the cart.)

Hop Pop hoped that this would stop them from doing any other dangerous stuff. His own grandchildren had been through enough, and he didn’t want to see these kids get hurt.

Agent P sees that the helicopter is smoking and cuts the rope. He drops down onto the coaster and in the cart, right behind Phineas and Ferb.
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Perry chatters
Phineas: Nice hat, Isabella.
Isabella takes off Agent P's fedora and looks at it, confused.

The audience chuckled at that.

“So that’s how it got there,” Isabella said.
The car goes to the end of the track and flies onto a construction area and flings into the air.
Phineas: Funny, I don't remember this in the blueprints.
An airplane picks up the car by the tail.

Candace screamed and pulled her brothers into a hug, afraid of what might happen if they get out of her sight.

Ferb patted her back.

“We’re right here, Candace. It’s okay,” Phineas comforted.

She just nodded silently
Phineas: And I'm sure this is new.

Candace sees the airplane from Linda's car.
Candace: Hehehehehehehehehehe!
Linda: I worry about you sometimes, Candace.

Candace glared at her past self. This was not the time!

The coaster car drops down and onto the Statue of Liberty, bending and throwing it to the woods. It lands on a pine tree which bends so they end up in front of Mr Slushy Burger.

Candace beamed at the sight of her boyfriend. She couldn’t wait for him to be here.

(Before taking any orders, the tree bends back and throws them to France, Paris)

Dipper blinked, stunned by the casual breaking of the laws of physics.
The car gets flung into orbit.

Candace sucks in a breath and holds her brothers closer.

“What the heck?!” Luz exclaimed.
(A satellite flies by)
Phineas: You know, if that thing crashes into earth, Candace is in charge.
The car suddenly falls down towards earth, towards the Tri-State area. The front of the car begins to burn like a meteor.

The adults gripped their seats, worried for the kids.

Linda pulls the car on the driveway and Candace jumps out.
Linda: Okay, we're here, are you happy now, Candace?
Horror music plays; Candace opens the gate to the backyard and doesn't see Phineas or Ferb.

Hopediah didn’t even care if the boys were stopped anymore, he just wanted them to be safe.
Candace sees that they’re gone and gets Linda, only to find the boys right under the tree, much to her mind shattering confusion. The two go inside to put away the groceries.

“You must have the best luck in the universe. The odds of survival…” Dipper was cut off by Mabel covering his mouth.

She then gestured to their sister who was holding them tightly. Realizing he wasn’t helping, Dipper stopped. Instead he decided to take out his Pine Tree Journal and right down what they’d gone over so far, starting with Agent P.

Kids drop down from the tree, saying how cool it was.

“You know, it actually was really cool,” Luz praised.

“I know I would definitely ride it. Even with that danger at the end,” Sprig said.

Dipper and Mabel looked at the pink frog like he was insane. Anne, Polly, and Hop Pop just face palmed or shook their heads.

Isabella comes down from the tree.
Isabella: That was great, Phineas. So, what are you gonna do tomorrow?
Phineas: Don't know yet.
Isabella: (pets Perry) Maybe you could teach Perry some tricks.
Phineas: Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much.

“Well, apparently they do,” Candace said.
Ferb: They're the only mammals to lay eggs.
(Pause)
Phineas: …Maybe he’ll lay an egg.

Heinz laughed loudly at the idea, and laughed even harder upon seeing Perry’s blush.
Isabella said that the two of them make a great team.
Phineas: Well, a brother is a brother, but I couldn't have asked for a better one than Ferb. You know what I mean?

Mabel ruffled her brother’s hair.

“I do,” she said.

“Hey, cut that out!” he said before starting to tickle her.

Luz hugged King close. So did Candace with her brothers and Anne with her frog brother and sister.

Stan and Eda smiled fondly at the thought of their siblings. Sure, it was a bumpy road for each of them, but they managed to repair their relationships.

The only one not happy was Heinz. He just crossed his arms and sighed. Then Perry lightly punched his arm and smiled. Doof rolled his eyes and smiled back.
The coaster car explodes in the tree, a car alarm and a dog barking can be heard.
Candace: (from inside) Mom!!
Linda: (from inside) Give it a rest, Candace!
The tin foil ball rolls in the background while Doofenshmirtz was still crushed.

Polly laughed again before the episode ended.

“Did she really not notice the fire?” Eda asked.

“Yeah, but these two took care of it,” Candace answered, arms still around her brothers.

“Okay, I have so many questions about him ,” Luz pointed at Perry.

“I’ll start,” Heinz said. “So there’s is organization that has animal agents that fight villains across town.”

“But how is he as smart as a human?” Dipper wondered. “I mean, it’s not usually possible.”

“Huh. You know, I haven’t really thought of that…I have no idea.”

Anne wondered if there was some connection to Amphibia here.

“Alright, everyone. Time for the next one,” their host said.

Fast and the Phineas

Phineas and Ferb are wondering what to do today, besides give Perry a bath.

From beyond, a race car sound is heard against them.

Phineas: (peeking over the fence) What is that wonderful noise?

Camera shows Jefferson County Motor Speedway, where the racing cars qualify for Swamp Oil 500, miles away from the house.

“Woah! Those look amazing !” Sprig exclaimed. He hopped onto Anne’s shoulder and grabbed both sides of her face. “Anne, what are they?”

“Those are race cars. Now can you please let go of my face?”

Phineas: Awesome. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

“Ooh, a race. Anyone here want to place bets? My money’s on the more experienced racers,” Stan said.

Eda grinned.

“I’ll take that action. What’s the prize?”

“My gold chain necklace or your golden ring right there.”

He pulled out said necklace from around his neck and showed it to her. The way it shined caused her eyes to gleam.

“Ooh, it’s so shiny, I must have it for my nest,” she whispered. “Alright, Pines. You’re on.”

The Danville group snickered, knowing that Stan had already lost.

In the garage, they start to work on turning the family car into a race car. Candace walks in and she notices the boys working on the car, and learns that they made it into a race car with a remote control.

“Wow. What’s the range on the remote?” Polly asked.

“Only a few miles. Just enough to go around the track,” Ferb answered.

Candace: (deeply) Oh, you are so busted.

She exits the garage and looks for their mom before heading to the Garcia-Shapiro house.

Candace: Heh, they won't get away with it this time!

“Now boys, I don’t think you should be taking your mother’s car out for this,” Hop Pop spoke up. “Think of all the terrible things that could happen.”

Anne and Sprig whistled innocently, remembering how they took Bessie for a joy ride. Their faces fell when they realized that Hop Pop would be seeing that soon.

Vivian answers the door and keeps talking to Candace, inadvertently stalling her.

“Sorry that my mom’s asking so many questions, Candace. She can be really talkative,” Isabella apologized.

“Nah, it’s fine,” the redhead waved off.

Back outside, Car zooms past Phineas and Ferb four times and blows their hair forward, burst, switched, and swapped back.

Dipper and Luz observed this with interest. It seemed like something you’d find in the Demon Realm or Gravity Falls.

Phineas: Hey, Ferb. What's the red button for?

(Car continues zooming, Ferb pushes the red button. The car blasts upward behind her; Linda comes out, and only sees the boys. Candace just stands there, speechless and deadpanned. Just after Linda closes the door, the car lands back onto the road.)

“Wow, that’s like, really weird timing,’ Soos said.

Isabella walks over and helps them organize a pit crew.

Dipper shook his head fondly.

Classic crush move.

(To Ferb) Hey Ferb, where's Perry?

(Scene shifts to Perry's lair)

Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons completely unknown, he's purchased a giant airship or blimp, as the kids say. Your mission is to find out why, and if necessary, put a stop to it.

“That’s it? I know you guys watch him for good reason, but that doesn’t sound inherently evil,’ Wendy inquired.

Perry shrugged.

♪ (Perry)! ♪

Eda sat up straighter. Where did that music come from?

Scene shifts to the Motor Speedway.

Isabella: (Dreamily) Hi, Phineas. I got your pit crew.

The Fireside Girls lined up behind Isabella.

The door for the Danville room opened and out came the Fireside Girls themselves.

“Hi, guys!” Gretchen greeted as she and the others sat down.

“Hey, girlfriends!” Isabella waved.

“More girls!” Mabel squealed.

Isabella: Okay, girls. We're dealing with a 426 cubic inch, fully-blown V8, with hypo lifters, radical cam, and a limited slip differential.

Gretchen: Would that be electronically fuel-injected?

“You guys know about engineering? Awesome!” Polly praised.

Candace looks for Phineas and Ferb but stops upon finding Jeremy. She tries to talk like she knows about racing.

Mabel, Luz, and Wendy smirked at their fellow teen. Candace just chuckled sheepishly.

That ended as soon the door to their room opened again, and out came Jeremy.

“Jeremy!” Candace exclaimed.

“Hey, Candace,” he smiled softly, sitting down next to her.

“Everyone, this is Jeremy. M-” she was silenced by the purple symbol. “ Seriously ?!”

“Great~. More teen mushy stuff,” Stan said sarcastically.
Jeremy tells Candace that Phineas is gonna be on tv and that gives her an idea.
“That’ll work,” Luz said.

“You’d think that,” Candace grimaced.
Candace calls Linda and tells her to turn on the tv.

Linda: Candace, this is a dandruff commercial. Is there something you're trying to tell me?
The teens laughed at the bad timing.
Cuts immediately to the race track; the race is about to start.
Rick: And with the race about to start, there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp!
That got everyone’s attention. They were all wondering what the scientist was planning this time.
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. I'm glad you're here. Actually, I was just getting ready to serve some PLATYPUS UNDER GLASS! (he traps him) You're just in time to witness my latest invention... my Deflate-inator Ray! Which I will demonstrate by deflating the tires of the Jefferson County Motor Speedway! After which, I will deflate everything in the Tri-State Area! That way, if anyone wants anything inflated, they will have to talk to me.
“Say, that’s not a bad idea,” Stan said. “Soos, right that down!”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Pines!”

“Thank you! Finally! It’s nice to have someone actually appreciate my schemes,” he said, giving Perry a glare that made the agent roll his eyes.
(Scene shifts to the race track)
Candace: Phineas, you are in big trouble, mister--!
(Cars zoom past her, leaving her burnt.)

Sprig, Polly, and King laughed while the others winced in sympathy.

“That’s rough,” Anne noted.
Jeremy: Candace, you got a little...
Photographer: (takes picture) Smile! Souvenir picture? Only a dollar.
(Candace looks at her picture. She is burnt and Jeremy is staring confused.)
Candace: AAH! (shakes herself clean) Wait a second.
(Grabs camera, runs off)

“Don’t you have a phone? Why didn’t you take a picture with it instead?” Wendy asked.

Candace’s eyes widened and she facepalmed.
Candace: (Takes a picture of Phineas driving) Ee-ee-ee-ee... now, I gotcha!
Photographer: (Snatches picture) Hey, Missy. Two pictures, two bucks.
Candace: Oh, yeah, uh, I've only got a dollar, but uh, I just want the one. You can just tear the other one up, 'kay?
(The photographer rips one picture.)
“You grabbed the wrong picture, didn’t you?” Dipper asked.

The redhead was silent.
Candace: (rides out on bike) I've got 'em, NOW! Heeheehee.
“I should’ve just stayed and had fun with you,” Candace groaned into her boyfriend’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. We got plenty of that later.”

Phineas asks Ferb if they can speed up. The car suddenly speeds up

Phineas: OH YEAH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!
Sprig gasps loudly with wide eyes and hands on his cheeks.

“Anne, I want one.”

“Sprig, no.”

“Please?”

“Anne’s right, Sprig,” Hopediah chided. “You’re not ready for something like that.”

The young frog pouted.
They bring Phineas in for a pit stop.

Isabella: All right, Fireside Girls, let's move, move, move!
(The girls work on fixing the car)
Isabella: That helmet looks so manly.
Phineas: Thanks.

Isabella’s cheeks turned pink and she started chuckling nervously.

“You alright, Isabella?” Phineas asked, oblivious to why.

“Sure, sure! Totally fine!”

He shrugged.

Wendy, Anne, and Candace shook their heads. Mabel, Luz, and Stan gapped at the boy. Ferb and Perry sighed.

“Kid, I think you need to talk to your brother about girls after this,” Eda whispered to the older sister.

Candace nodded.

Isabella: Hit it, Ferb.
(The car takes off, engine whirring)
“Wow, you girls work fast,” Polly noted. “Do you stuff like this often?”

“All the time,” Holly answered.

The tadpole was practically glowing.
(In the D.E.I blimp)
Doofenshmirtz: (Laughing) Listen to those fools, as they worship their candy-colored race car man. How about a little demonstration of my deflationary prowess?
(Fires laser)
(The ray fires to the race track)
Man #2: I got it!
(The ray hits the beach ball, which starts hissing. The deflating beach ball blinds a car.
Race Car Driver: AAH! (Tires screeching, rams a sign)
Anne’s eyes narrowed at Heinz. That guy could have gotten really hurt.
(Song: "Go, Go, Phineas")

The other groups raised some eyebrows.

“Do people often just break into song in this town?” King questioned.

“Yeah. Why?” Isabella asked.

“You mean this is…normal?” Mabel asked.

“Yes. Yes it is,” Phineas answered, with the others from Danville nodding.

“And you don’t find that in any way weird?” Polly wondered.

“No, not at all. Do people not do that where you’re from?” Doof questioned.

“No,” Dipper responded.

Luz turned to her mentor.

“Eda?”

“Not that I’m aware of. I’ll have to check with Rai…a friend of mine.”

Dipper wrote all this new information down in his journal.
Ferb controls the car and Phineas to expertly avoid all the crashing cars.

Hop Pop sucks in a breath and squeezes his arm rests.
(At the Garcia-Shapiro house...)
Candace arrives and shows Linda the picture, but soon sees that she brought the picture of herself burnt. She screams loud and very long.
Everyone blinked.

“That is one of the loudest noises I’ve heard!” Eda exclaimed.
(Back at the Speedway, in the D.E.I. blimp...)
Doofenshmirtz: Already they fear me, listen to their screams, huh?

“Nope. Sorry buddy,” King teased.

While the others laughed at the evil scientist’s misunderstanding, Eda narrowed her eyes.

That settles it. This town is definitely connected to the Demon Realm. Nothing in the Human Realm can make a noise like that.

She eyed Candace and Phineas.

No human has a neck that long either. Or a head in that shape.
Doofenshmirtz: Imagine the mayhem once my Deflate-inator ray is fully charged.
(at the mouse in the machine) Run! Run like the wind, my little indentured rodent. And I will give you some cheese. Heh, I know I had some around here somewhere.

Stan’s jaw dropped. He was powering his machine with a rat? And it worked? He had to use nuclear waste to power the portal! Heinz just might be the dumbest smart person on the entire planet.
(Perry pulls out a briefcase filled with cheeses; Grabs stinky cheese and loads it onto a crossbow.)

King giggled gleefully. He loved seeing the little guy take down the tall one. And he had a feeling that Perry was gonna win again.

Perry fires the crossbow. The mouse chases after it and into Doofenshmirtz’s pants.) Hmm? AIEE! HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-AIEEEEEEE!

Candace shuddered while everyone else laughed. This was giving her flashbacks of the squirrels.

Glass breaks from the frequency, setting Perry free and the fight begins.

“Yes! Battle for glory!” King cheered.

“Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan added.

The laser fires, Blimp deflating.
Doofenshmirtz:Hmm. I suppose I should've seen that coming.
Polly had to lean on Sprig to stop herself from falling over with laughter.
(Back at the Garcia-Shapiro house...)
Candace: (from inside) But Mom, you've gotta believe me! (cuts to her.) Wait a minute. I bet it's still on TV! (runs off)
Linda: (Flatly) That's good, Candace. Go watch a little TV.
(Candace turns on the TV, the screen shows Phineas winning the race. There is a flash, freeze-frame.)
Dave: And look at this amazing finish.

“You won!” Mabel cheered in amazement.

“What?! No! No! Nooooo!” Stan bemoaned loudly.

“HA!” the OwlLady laughed. “Come on, Pines. A bet’s a bet,” she said smugly, gesturing her hand in a ‘gimme’ motion.

Stan grumbled incoherently as he took off his gold chain necklace and gave it to her.

“I swear, I’ll get that thing back.”

“You can try, but the only way I’m giving this baby up is if you win it in another bet.”

“Then I’ll win it back!”
Candace: (Stammering) Mom, come quick! Come look-look-look-look-look!!
Linda: All right! I'm coming! (stands up)
Candace: Ee-ee-ee-ee...
Then the Blimp crashes into the broadcast tower, making the tv go static. Linda sees nothing and goes back to the card game.

“…Huh,” Wendy said.

Meanwhile Candace’s eyes widened in realization as everything became clear.

“It’s you two!” she said pointing at Doof and Perry in disbelief.

“Us?” Heinz questioned.

“You’re the reason all my brother’s inventions always disappear.”

The others from Danville turned to the pair.

“…Okay, that’s something I did not know.”

“Could it be true? Have your battles been the reason why all our stuff never stays?” Phineas wondered.

“It happened with the Rollercoaster,” Candace reasoned. “And he’s already interfering here.”

“I suggest we keep watching. See if this is indeed the pattern,” Ferb said.

“I’m already taking notes,” Dipper announced.
At the Speedway, Doofenshmirtz steals the car and zooms off.
Phineas: Hmm. Looks like we're walking.
Candace emphatically pointed at the screen.
Candace walks back to the Flynn-Fletcher house and starts mimicking her mother in annoyance. She gasps and looks to see the garage empty. She smiles.
Candace: Gotcha.
“Well, I certainly would be upset if our family vehicle was taken for a joyride without my consent.

Anne and Sprig exchanged terrified looks.
Scene shifts to Perry and Doofenshmirtz fighting in a car wash. Perry’s is winning. Beeping; Explosion, Perry blasts into space on the car.
Yeah! Little guys rule!” King cheered.

“Heck, yeah!” Polly added.

Perry just smiled at the two.
Back with Candace, she takes Linda to the garage, only to see the car’s been washed. Linda thinks the boys did it.

“Again with that timing,” Dipper noted.
Linda: It's beautiful!
(For the rest of the scene, Candace stands completely shocked with her mouth open.)
Linda (cont'd.): I gotta admit, I thought you we're exaggerating a bit, but this is really worth getting excited about!
Phineas: (walking in the background, trophy in hand) Hi, Mom, we're home!
Linda: Hey, boys! I saw what you did today!
Phineas: (Referring to the race) Yeah? How'd you like it?
Linda: (from inside; oblivious) I loved it! (cut to her) Now who wants some snacks?

“Oh, so Mom wasn’t talking about the race,” Phineas pouted.

Candace patted his back. She knew now that it was probably better that Mom didn’t see.

“Back to the stuff about singing,” Anne began. “How long has that been going on?”

“Uh…forever? It’s fun,” Jeremy answered.

“Time for the next one, ladies and gentlemen,” their host said.

Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror

(Scene opens up showing a bird flying, then burns.)

Everyone sucked in a breath at the sight.

“Oh! I remember that heat wave!” Mabel spoke up. A bittersweet smile wormed it’s way onto her face. That was the day she met Mermando.

“Luz, I thought you said you had weather instead of plagues in the Human Realm?” King asked his sister.

“I…I have no explanation for this,’ she said, stunned.
Stanky Dog: This is Stanky Dog comin' to you on the hottest day of the summer! Unless you live at the beach, I say take it easy and do nothin' today. Yup, just find yourself a shady tree, and maybe an aquatic mammal of some sort, and blow the whole day off.
Phineas: Come on, Ferb. If we let a little heat stop us from having the best day ever, then the morning DJs win.

“Yeah! Don’t let anyone tell you what you can do, boys!” Eda cheered.

“That’s our plan,” Phineas smiled back. It was nice to meet an adult who shared his philosophy.
The boys tell their mom they’re making a beach in the backyard as she heads out.

“Ooh~, sounds fun,” Mabel commented.

“Do you even have enough room for that?” Dipper questioned.

“You’ll see,” Candace answered happily. This was one of the best days she’d had in the Summer.
Candace: Bye, Mom! Yes! You heard her. We can't bug dad which makes me in charge... by default. (pauses) Carry on.

Phineas: We're gonna need more sand. Hey, where's Perry?

(Perry walks to a mushroom in the backyard and drops down into his lair)

“Perry, how many entrances to your lair are there?” Phineas asked their pet.

The platypus started counting on his fingers before shrugging, not knowing the answer.
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing, leaving thousands of gardens unprotected from the evils of black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it.

Eda, Luz, and King blanched at the ‘evils of black magic’ part.

“Seriously? Ugh!” Luz complained and hugged her arms and legs. “Why are so many people afraid of magic?” spoke quietly. “I’m sorry, Eda.”

Eda patted her head.

“It’s okay kid. This was, what? Eight years ago? I’m sure things have changed since then.”

“I hope so. We’ll ask them about it later.”

“Huh. Those gnome statues are pretty accurate,” Dipper whispered to his sister.

“Yeah, but why is he taking them?” she responded just as quietly. “Is he looking for real ones?

“I don’t know. But an evil guy like him would want an army, and they can be dangerous.”

♪ (Perry)! ♪

There it is again, Eda thought. That just comes out of nowhere. It has to be linked to all the singing.

Contractor: Aren't you a little young to be a landscape contractor?
Phineas: Yes, yes I am.
Isabella walks in with her classic “What'cha doin'?” catchphrase.

“Aw~,” Luz cooed. “That sounds so sweet~.”

The others couldn’t help but agree.
Phineas tells her they’re building a beach, and she asks if she and the other Fireside girls can be lifeguards, since they need to earn their Aquatic-Safety badges.
Phineas: Sure.

“Aquatic-Safety?” Mabel asked with a smirk.

Isabella blushed.

“I know what you’re thinking. But that badge is a real thing. I didn’t make it up just to spend time with him. I saw it as a win-win.”

“Did you girls get them?” Anne questioned.

“We did,” Ginger answered.

“Are there badges for everything?” Polly inquired.

“Pretty much,” Milly shrugged, much to the other girls’ intrigue.
Candace is on the phone with Stacy but goes to check on her brothers. She mocks them at first, thinking the sandbox is the beach. Then they lower the fence to reveal a giant beach.

The other groups weren’t even surprised at this point. But that didn’t mean they were any less surprised.

She’s about to call Linda when her friends Stacy and Jenny show up.

The door opened again and out came Stacy.

“Hi,” Stacy waved, before sitting down next to Candace.

“Sup,” Stan greeted casually.

Jenny: You never told us you had a beach in your backyard!
Stacy: You're going to be the most popular girl in the neighborhood.
Candace: I will?
Stacy: I just saw Jeremy and his buddies with their surfboards.
Candace: Jeremy's here? (Panting, drops phone) Gotta go! (Zips off)

The audience chuckled while Candace had a light blush.

“It’s not like there’s much to be embarrassed about, now that we’re together,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah,” Candace responded, snuggling into his neck.

Perry is disguised as a lawn gnome. He gets sucked down and ends up in a hidden lair of Doofenshmirtz’s.

“Wow. That’s a lot of gnomes,” Anne noted.
Doofenshmirtz: (chuckles) Yes, yes! Just look at the bounty of gnome riches! Oh, this is a strange one. (The lawn gnome punches Doof in the face)

“Solid punch, duck,” Stan complimented.

Doofenshmirtz: Wait, who are you? (Perry takes off his fake beard and gnome hat) ... A platypus? ...

Everyone blinked.

“Seriously? You couldn’t tell it was him?” Stan questioned incredulously.

“Well…there are a lot of platypuses in the Tri-State Area,” he chuckled sheepishly.

“He punched you,” Eda responded flatly.

“Just-Just watch the episode!”

Perry puts on his fedora.

Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! You are mine now! (Presses button, the garage door opens)

The audience began to snicker.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh no, wait, wait, wait. That was the garage door opener. You are mine now! (Presses button, large monitor activates)

The snickers turned into guffaws.

“Okay, I admit, in retrospect this is pretty funny,” Doof said, smiling.

Doofenshmirtz: And that was the TV remote. I've got to start labeling these things. Aha! YOU ARE MINE NOW! (Presses button, the cage falls on top of Perry, laughs maniacally)

“Took him long enough,” Candace whispered to Stacy and Jeremy, eliciting a quiet laugh from each of them.

Doofenshmirtz: Finally, I will rid myself of you! (brings out another control) But first, turn your attention to the giant screen and... (the garage door closes) Hmm, maybe I need to turn the cable on first?

The audience laughed again.

“Been there, man.

(Cuts to the backyard beach.)

Phineas: Let's get this beach party started!
(Song: "If Summer Only Lasts One Day")
Everyone bobbed their heads to the song. Dipper wrote it down in his Journal.

In another section of the beach, we see Candace holding two coconut co*cktails, going towards Jeremy.

“Yes! Romance,” Mabel and Luz cheered quietly.

Candace frowned, remembering what happened next.

At that moment, a coconut falls and hits Candace.
“Ooh~” everyone winced in sympathy.

Candace: Oh! (She falls on a crab)
Crowd: How low can you go? How low can you go?
(The crab with Candace on it walks under the limbo, attracting the spectators, wins, and is officially crowned Queen Wahini of the beach! The crowd puts a robe with a Tiki hat on Candace.

Candace beamed. That was a good memory.

“Well, good for you,” Eda smirked at the scene. Maybe this girl would learn to lay back and have fun with her brothers.

Ferb sings "Backyard Beach"
“Dude! You have, like some serious rap skills!” Soos praised Ferb.

The green haired boy nodded in thanks.

“Did you write that yourself?” Anne asked.

He gave a thumbs up.

“Wow.”
Candace: I've never been happier in my entire life!

The Danville group smiled at on screen Candace.

(Cuts to Linda at the spa, she takes cucumber slices off her eyes.)
Linda: Something is very wrong. Not a single call from Candace. (Checks her phone) Not even a text message. Oga, hose me down. I'm going home.

“Uh oh,” Mabel said.

“Wait, so does your mom only assume that everything’s fine when you freak out?” Sprig asked.

“At the time, yes,” Candace answered.

(Cut to Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I think I finally got the right one. Now, Perry the Platypus, (Shines flashlight on him) you will finally understand...my PAIN! (presses remote)

“Ooh! Ooh! This is one of my backstories. Pay attention!” Heinz exclaimed.

Dipper had his pen and journal ready. Anne, Luz, Eda, and Soos leaned forward in their seats.

Perry just rolled his eyes. Though he couldn’t force down the wave of sympathy that washed over him.
Doofenshmirtz explains that when he was child, the government took his family’s lawn gnome, so they made him be the lawn gnome instead. All day, all night.

Everyone’s jaws dropped, appalled by what they had seen.

Stan blinked. His dad had never forced him to be a lawn gnome, but he had kicked him out. So he couldn’t help but pity the scientist.

The others weren’t much better.

“…Weh?” King went.

“Dude…that’s like…really messed up,” Soos said.

“They're your parents! How could they do that to you?!” Hopediah exclaimed.

Dipper hesitated to write this stuff down. That was so wrong in so many ways.

Luz and Anne shared a look.

“So…I think he was telling the truth about him just being petty,’ Luz admitted.

Anne crossed her arms.

“Let’s just wait and see. I know from experiences that appearances can be deceiving,’ she said, sparing a quick look at Stan.

Doofenshmirtz: And since my lawn gnome was taken away from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! Behold, the Destruct-inator! (He pulls a curtain, revealing the giant laser.)

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to use a hammer? Or through them on the ground?” Mabel questioned.

“Allow me to educate you on revenge,” Heinz began. “Sure, I could do that, but using an -inator adds a personal flair. Drama !” he explained, making a fist. “It’s fun.”

Doofenshmirtz: And now, Perry the Platypus, to activate my creation! (pushes a button and opens Perry's trap) NOOOO! (Perry hits him)

“I know it’s only been the third time, but I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of watching you two fight,” King stated gleefully.

Many in the audience couldn’t help but agree.

(Cut to the beach)
Stanky Dog: Surf contest!
Buford: Out of my way, Dinner-bell.
Phineas: Hello, Buford. Perhaps you missed the sign.
Buford: (reads the sign) "No Bullying, No Yodeling"?
Man: (Austrian accent) I don't like this any more than you do.

“You guys have a bully?” Luz inquired with narrowed eyes.

“Buford’s complicated. He’s a bully but he also genuinely likes us,” Phineas explained.

“So…is he your friend?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, but he didn’t really become our friend until a bit later. You’ll see,” Isabella responded.

Stanky Dog is announcing for the surfing contest, and Phineas is pulling off all these amazing tricks and wins.

“Woohoo!” Mabel, Luz, Anne, and Sprig cheered.

“That looks amazing! ” Sprig said, amazed.

“How are you doing that?” Dipper

“Just my knowledge of physics.”

“But some of those moves shouldn’t be possible.”

“Well, anything’s possible if you try hard enough.”

The cap wearing boy recalled the events of his own Summer, and realized that Phineas had a point.

(Cut to Candace and Jeremy and the people dancing.)
Candace: So, are you having fun?
(The music changes with spotlights)
“You’ve got this, Queen!” Mabel cheered at Candace. The teen smiled softly at the encouragement.

“Thanks, Mabel.”
Candace: Eee... (Cell phone rings) just one second. (dreamily, on phone) Hellooooo?
Cut to Linda in the car, she gets shocked by this.

The other groups laughed at that.
Linda: Uh, Candace? Is everything okay?
Cut back to Candace.
Candace: Ohh, everything is just wonderful...
(Cut back to Linda, she gets shocked again.)

They all laugh even harder.
Linda: And...Phineas and Ferb? What are they doing?
(Cut back to Candace as Phineas surfs in the background.)
Candace: Ohh, such wonderful things...
(Cut back to Linda, she gets shocked once more.)

Eda and King fell out of their seats, laughing on the floor.
Linda: Candace, honey, I'm coming home.
Candace panics and runs off to stop her.

“Heh heh! That’s pretty ironic, don’t you think?” Soos laughed out.

Underground, the fight resumes.

“Yeah! Take him down!” Eda cheered.

Doofenshmirtz looked around the theater.

“Is anyone gonna cheer for me?”

Silence

“Anyone?”

Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz into a lever, switching it to "Blow" forming a volcano in the middle of the ocean.)

Candace shot up and pointed emphatically at the screen.

“There! Right there! You’re the ones who did that!”

Dipper added it to the count.
Volcano blows up, rapidly shooting out gnomes that have everyone running in terror.
“Well, that’s not the first reason to run from gnomes I can think of,” Dipper mentioned.

“What do you mean?” Heinz asked.

“You’ll see.”

(Cut to Linda)
Linda: Candace, tell me the truth. What is going on here?
Candace explains everything that’s been going on.

“She’s not gonna believe you, is she?” Luz stated more than asked.

“No.”

As the fight continues underground, Perry hits the lever in Doof's face.

“Ha!” Stan laughed and slapped his knee.

As that happens, it switched from Blow to Suck.
Doofenshmirtz: Oof! (The volcano starts sucking down all of the water, splashing down on Perry and Doof.)

“What did I tell you?” Candace asked rhetorically.

No one could refute her.

Candace continues to explain, but now it's like a dramatic story. The water was now completely sucked up. As people are looking down in the hole that was created, Perry climbs up into the surface. Phineas says that the party’s over and everyone leaves satisfied. The gate lifts and closes.

“What happened to all that sand later?” Wendy wondered.

“The neighbors planted new grass over it,” Isabella asked.
Candace and Linda return to see the beach gone.

Candace: Wait, wait, my kingdom...my Jeremy...it was all so beautiful...! (panics, at Phineas and Ferb) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PARADISE?! (pants)
Linda: Candace, honey, I think it's time to get you out of the sun for a little while. (she and Isabella lead Candace away.)
Phineas: I think she had fun.

“Yep. I had fun but then somebody got rid of it,” Candace said, casting a glare at Doof and Perry, who gave her sheepish looks.

Stanky Dog praises Phineas and Ferb on the radio and starts talking about the weather.
Ferb: With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.
(Phineas laughs.)

“That beach looked fun. Would you two consider making another?” Mabel asked.

“We don’t really do the same thing twice,” Phineas answered.

Mabel sagged in disappointment.

“Just wait until the end of the day, when you all have your break,” the host said. They cut them off before they could respond. “And now for the next one.”

Flop Starz

On the TV, there is a commercial for auditions at the Googleplex Mall. Candace gets excited and leaves to get ready.

Mabel gasped.

“A singing contest. Fun!”

Candace smiled. It was fun once she started singing with her brothers.

Phineas: That pop star stuff might be fun at first, but then you'd be stuck with a dead end job. Too bad you can't just do it once and move on.

Linda explains that he’s talking about a one hit wonder.

Linda: Well, a musical act goes to the top of the charts with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics...

Anne nodded. She and her friends had their own band and knew how that worked.

(Flashes back to a time when Linda was known as a singer named Lindana. Song: "I’m Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun"

Mabel and Stan’s jaws dropped.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU’RE MOM’S LINDANA!? THE LINDANA!? ”

The Flynn-Fletcher kids nodded their heads with pride.

Dipper rubbed his ears.

“Ow. Mabel, that was right in my ear!”

“Sorry, Dipingsauce. I just can’t believe it!” she squealed.

“You’ve heard of her?” Candace inquired.

“Heard of her? Kid, she may have not been in the game long, but make no mistake, your mom left her mark on the Eighties,” Stan emphasized.

Linda: (voiceover) Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then fade to obscurity. Before they know it, their song ends up as: elevator music. Years later, they have a reunion concert... (Cuts back to her in the dining room upset.) And after that, they never sing again. And no one... remembers them. (stares off into space, but quickly turns back to Phineas and Ferb) Not that I would know anything about that.

“ I remember, ” Mabel said in a low voice with starry eyes.

“Is your mom okay?” Luz asked worriedly. “She looks like she’s pretty depressed there.”

“Don’t worry. Our mom realized that people still remembered her and that did the trick,” Phineas explained, satisfying the afro-latina.

Phineas and Ferb decide to do a one-hit wonder.

“What kind of song is it gonna be?” Anne asked in anticipation.

“Spoilers. Sorry,” Phineas apologized.

(In Candace's room, she and Stacy have a montage on what she’ll wear. It goes from a blue gown, a bikini, a pinafore, torn chords and a hippie t-shirt, street clothing, a goth suit.

“Why do you have so many outfits? Just go with what you’re currently wearing,” Dipper argued.

Candace and Stacy frowned at him.

Mabel immediately covered his mouth.

“Heh heh. He doesn’t mean that, ladies,” she chuckled, a little nervous.

Stacy: Where'd you get that?

Candace wears a Lindana costume from her mom’s closet.

Mabel gasped. The actual outfit!

Stacy: Nah, too retro.

Mabel gaped.

Blasphemy!

Candace tries more other outfits: a construction uniform, indian clothes, cowgirl duds, biking clothes, a sailor suit, a gorilla costume, a spacesuit, a clown costume, and finally ends up with her trademark clothing.

Stacy: Perfect!

“But that’s the-” Dipper began but his sister covered his mouth again.

(They pass by Phineas and Ferb in their bedroom; Phineas is on the floor writing.)

Phineas: "Chika, chika, choo...wah". Meaningless lyrics done. (To Ferb) How's the catchy tune coming along? (Ferb presses a key on the computer keyboard, producing a piano sound in the key of D.)

"Chika, chika, choo, wah,” Anne repeated. “That is catchy.”

Phineas: Hey, where'd Perry go?

In the bathroom, Perry flushes himself in the toilet and then swims over his headquarters.

Many of them cringed at the sight.

“Gross,” Mabel commented, scrunching her nose.

Major Monogram: Oh, good morning Agent P. We just received word that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate. We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.

“Construction…toys?” Wendy repeated, skeptical.

“What can you do with construction toys?” Polly asked.

“You’d be surprised,” Heinz responded.

(Perry salutes and leaves with his scooter, and stops at the red light. Linda's car stops beside him, and she glances; then when she realizes it, Perry puts a pair of Groucho glasses on and Linda just shrugs. The green light then appears and he zooms away.)

“That was a close call,” King said.

How did that work, though?” Eda wondered. “I’d never be able to pull that off with just those glasses.”

Perry just shrugged.

♪ (Perry)! ♪

There’s that theme song again. Is it just coming from thin air? Eda thought.

At the mall, Stacy and Candace see that the line is long and Candace begins to panic, saying she can't do this.

Stacy: Oh yes, you can! You're not a quitter; you're a fighter!

Candace: I am?

Stacy: Sure you are! You're a lean, mean, singing machine! (Candace growls and punches the purse as in boxing.) That's it, yeah! Now you're looking like a winner!

Candace looks like a worn out tiger and drools.

“Say, those were some strong hits. Your form’s a bit off, but you could really take a guy down like that,” Stan praised.

Perry nodded in agreement.

“Thanks.”

Jeremy walks by.

Jeremy: Hey, Candace.

Candace: (arranges herself) And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away its food. Oh! Hi, Jeremy! Are you auditioning too?

The audience chuckled while Candace blushed.

Jeremy: Nah. I came to see this hot new band called PFT. I downloaded their song this morning. It's tight! The hundredth contestant gets to sing onstage with the band!

“How much you wanna bet that that band is those two boys?” Eda asked the elder Pines.

“What, in one day? Never gonna happen?” Then he grinned. “This ring on my finger that’s totally mine and not one I stole over my gold chain back.”

“Deal.”

“Should we warn him?” Stacy asked.

“Nah,” Candace decided.

Candace: Really? (She walks through the entrance and becomes the 100th contestant.)

Phil: Ladies and gentlemen, this young lady has the honor of singing onstage with PFT. So now, the band you've been waiting for: Phineas and the Ferb-Tones!

(Phineas and Ferb are revealed.)

“No! Not again!” Stan bemoaned.

Eda cheered as he handed her his ring.

“Maybe you should stop making bets with that woman,” Hop Pop suggested.

“You think?”

Candace: Phineas?!

Phineas is excited that it’s Candace.

Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, the Ferbettes! I'm Phineas and this is Ferb, and we're gonna sing a song!

The kids from the other groups were leaning forward in their seats, excited for the song about to play.

(Song: "Gitchee Gitchee Goo")

“Wow!” Luz exclaimed.

“I love it!” Anne added

“It’s so catchy!” Mabel praised.

Dipper smiled. It reminded him of BABA a little bit.

Candace: That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom!

Phineas: Okay...tell her what?

Eda palmed her face for two reasons. One, Candace should have just had fun with her brothers. Two, how oblivious is this boy!

Candace just sighed.

The band keeps singing after she leaves.

The audience chuckled a little.

Candace drags Linda from the store, much to her annoyance.

“They’ll probably be gone by then,” Dipper said flatly.

(Backstage...)

Ben Baxter: Hi, I'm Ben Baxter, Huge-O-Records. Why don't you come by my office in an hour and we can talk about your future.

Phineas: Future? Cool. He must be a psychic.

“He’s offering you a record deal,” Stan explained.

“We know. We figured it out,” Isabella responded.

“You guys never told me about this,” Candace said, surprised.

“You’ll see why in a second,” Phineas said.

Candace and Linda arrive at the Stage only to see Marty the Rabbit Boy playing his blender to The Blue Danube Waltz.

Linda: Hon, we're getting you an eye exam. (pulls her away)

Candace: No, no! Wait!

Candace groaned as the others winced in sympathy.

(Agent P is still driving)

♪ Perry! ♪

“Huh. I thought you’d be there by now,” Eda said.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! ♪

“That’s a different building,” Jeremy noticed.

“For this scheme, yes,” Heinz responded.

Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha, everything is ready! (doorbell rings) Oh, what is it now? (opens the door and saw the disguised Perry) Oh, are you my new temp?

“…He’s so smart but so stupid…” Dipper commented, not believing what he was seeing.

“Hmm. Reminds me of someone else I know,” his sister said, lightly punching his arm.

“Heh heh. Okay, I walked into that one,” he chuckled.

Doofenshmirtz: Well, let me just get you up to speed. I know it's bit of a mess. I'm just putting the finishing touches of my latest maniacal plan. You see, in a few minutes, I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire... (holds a magnifying glass on the eastern coast of the U.S.) ...Tri-State Area!

Luz looked at the man skeptically. Gravesfield was in the Tri-State Area, and she’d never heard of this guy taking over it. So he must have given up, changed sides, or flat out failed. Probably all three.

“Oh, so you were trying to become a despotic overlord. I can relate,” King said simply.

“Huh?”

“Spoilers,” the Titan waved off.

(Perry removes the Groucho glasses) Perry the Platypus? You're a temp? Are times that hard?

“How can you think he’s a temp?” Stacy asked through her laughter.

“It was inconvenient timing!” doof defended.

(Candace exits the mall wearing glasses.)

Candace: Ugh! I told Mom I don't need glasses! (takes off glasses) What the-- (A PFT bus drives away.) Uh, No! No! Wait! Uggggg... (Candace stops. She turns around, notices a PFT poster on a building and smiles) MMMMMOOOOM?!? (She runs back inside)

“How’s your mom gonna miss a painting that big?” Sprig asked.

“That's actually a poster, and I guess we’ll find out,” Candace answered.

Doofenshmirtz: Sorry, Perry the Platypus, but you are too late!

He pulls a lever and the building becomes a robot.

The Amphibia group froze, suddenly reminded of the invasion in L.A.

“You guys okay?” Isabella asked after a few moments.

They shook their heads, snapping out of their stupor.

“We’ll be fine,” Hop Pop answered vaguely.

(Candace drags Linda out, wearing a jacket setting off the shoplifting alarm.)

Linda: Candace! I haven't payed for this yet!

Guard: Hey!

“That’s gonna slow you down,” Dipper noted.

(The giant building robot wreaks havoc over Danville.)

Everyone sucked in a breath.

“How many people did you hurt?!” Anne exclaimed.

“No one, actually. Badly. Nobody died if that’s what you’re asking,” Doof defended.

Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha ha ha! When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me! (Perry removes a metal cover of a storage) Wait, wait, wait, you're not supposed to touch that!

“Shut it down! Quickly!” Polly shouted.

Perry removes a wire.

Doofenshmirtz: Hey, hey, no fair!

The robot almost steps over the building, but turns around.

The audience sighed in relief.

“Thank goodness you got it to turn around. A lot of people could have died from that,” Anne breathed out.

“Uh, actually…” Phineas began.

(The PFT bus passes by the building after the robot leaves.)

Isabella: (from inside) Wow, what a great painting! (Cuts to her with Phineas and Ferb in the bus.) How did you get permission for that?

Phineas: Oh, they didn't mind. The building's scheduled for demolition.

“…there wasn’t anybody in that building,” he finished. “Pretty much everybody in town was at the Mall.”

“Oh, so that’s why there weren’t casualties.”

The building is demolished.

Candace: Seeeeeee??!! (Linda does not answer. Candace turns and sees the building is gone.) AAAAHHHH!!

Guard: Uh, ma'am, you're gonna have to come back and pay for that.

Linda: (flatly) Yes of course, officer. (follows him)

Candace: AAAAHHHH!!

The Guard then recognizes her as Lindana, saying that he was a huge fan to her surprise.

“What did I tell ya? Left her mark,” Stan said.

Cut back to the robot.

Doofenshmirtz: Very clever, Perry the Platypus. I tried to ignore you, but you forced my hand. (Pushes a button and traps Perry with a bunch of robot arms)

Eda leans over to Stan.

“How much you wanna bet-”

“Not gonna happen,” the man shot her down. He didn’t plan on losing a third time that day.

Doofenshmirtz: And now...I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter. Oh-ho-ho, where are my manners? (Gives Perry his share) Here you go, Perry the Platypus. Care for some pepper? Just say when. (Continues to pour pepper) Anytime.

Everyone had a pretty good idea how this was gonna turn out.

At Huge-O-Records...

Ben: (from inside) Boys, let me start by saying we love your act and we want to be... (cuts to the boardroom) ...in the Phineas and the Ferb-Tones business. And by the way, aren't you a little young to be pop stars?

(Pause)

Phineas: ...No.

“That felt kinda weird. Did anyone else think that was weird,” Anne asked the audience, receiving nods in response.

(Another pause)

Ben: Well, okay then! We are prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract if you'll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.

“You should really read that first,” Stan warned.

“Nah, we did something better,” Phineas said.

Phineas gets angry, saying that they’re strictly a one-hit wonder, and they leave.

“Oh…Yeah, that works too.”

In the elevator, "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" plays as elevator music.

Phineas: Diva tantrum, check. (Pauses, listens to the "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" elevator music.) Elevator music, check. (Ferb checks off "Elevator music".)

“You really took that list to heart,” Stacy

(Cut to the boardroom with the robot approaching.)

Ben: Ah, who needs 'em? We still got this video tape of their performance. We could do live CDs, DVDs, podcasts, heck, we can digitally re-create their images to make our own sitcom! The Phineas and Ferb Show! We could squeeze twenty years of entertainment out of this one video tape.

The audience glared at him with intense gazes.

“Does anyone here speak spanish?” Luz questioned.

Isabella raised her hand.

“Someone cover her ears.”

Phineas covered them, causing Isabella to sigh dreamily. Luz covered King’s ears and cursed loudly in spanish.

“Ugh! This is so typical of the corporate world,” Wendy said, not impressed.

Candace actually growled.

“I swear if they extorted my little brothers…”

Manager: (screams) That giant robot's coming right at us!

“Oh, you can crush that building,” Polly gave the go ahead.

Doofenshmirtz: (still pouring pepper) Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper. I'm more of a paprika man myself. (Perry blows over the pepper, Dr. D coughs)

“Get him!” many in the audience cheered the platypus on.

Doofenshmirtz: It will take more than condiments to foil my brilliant plan!

The robot sneezes them out, and they crash through the Huge-O-Records building. Taking the tape with them.

“Yes! Thank you, Perry!” Candace exclaimed, and hugged him.

Doofenshmirtz: AAAAHHH! (Perry loosens the tape's film and successfully lands) AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Lands on a soft mattress) Ooh! What an unbelievable stroke of luck! (The mattress folds in half)

The audience laughed.

Doofenshmirtz: Oof! I'm okay! I'm still better than the... (gets stepped over by the robot) Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Half of those laughs turned into winces.

Below...

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry. (Perry chatters; a bus pulls up and they get on.) Come on, guys. We still have one thing left to do.

(The bus pulls away to reveal it reads "PFT Reunion Concert".)

“Sweet, a reunion concert,” Soos noticed.

“Reunion? But it hasn’t even been ten minutes,” Polly questioned.

Back at the Mall, Phil announces that the winner is Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender!

Candace sighed.

That could have been me.

Candace moping on a bench; Jeremy walks over, asking why she ran off earlier.

Candace: My brothers. (sighs) They always ruin everything.

“I was wrong. You guys didn’t ruin anything,” she quickly told her brothers.

“It’s okay. Everything worked out,” Phineas said.

Candace smiled and wrapped her arms around her brothers.

Jeremy: Well, you like to sing, right?

Candace: Yeah.

Jeremy: Then you shouldn't let your brothers' fun ruin your good time. You know, if you get a chance to sing, you oughta sing. I gotta go, I'll see you later. (Walks away)

“Awe~, he’s so encouraging,” Mabel gushed.

Candace decides to go to the Reunion Concert and sings with her brothers.

Everyone either snag with them, dance in their seat, or bobbed their heads to the music. Even Stan couldn’t hold back a small smile.

Perry grinned watching his family having fun together.

Candace/Phineas: ♪ Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! ♪

(Crowd cheers)

Candace: That was great! I've been thinking of my brothers all wrong! They're not a nuisance. They're my ticket to-

Phineas cuts her off, announcing that they’re retiring. They walk away as the lights go out, leaving Candace alone in the now closed Mall.

The audience just blinked.

“Heh heh. The timing’s actually pretty funny. Ow!” Soos said, ending with Wendy elbowing him in the ribs.

“That song is still pretty popular around the Tri-State Area. I think I even heard Major Monogram sing it a few times,” Heinz said. Perry nodded in confirmation.

“Do you guys get royalties for it?” Annes asked.

Ferb nodded.

“That’s another way we fund our inventions,” Phineas explained.

Stan couldn’t believe it. These boys couldn’t be any older than 12 and they already had a stable flow of income. Maybe he should have tried to become a one hit wonder.

“And now for the next episode,” their host said.

Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face

(Scene opens up showing a van driving up a hill.)
Phineas asks Buford what the first thing he’s going to do at camp. Buford says he’s gonna take a nerd’s underpants. Baljeet looks nervous.

The door opens again and out walks Baljeet.

“Well, it’s about time! Buford has been driving me crazy !” the newcomer complained as he sat down.

“Wait, why didn’t the silencing spell happen to him?” Dipper asked.

“Well, it’s already clear that Buford is their friend now, so there's no point using it.”

“Why isn’t he here then?” Stacy questioned.

“I think it’s best that he join us during a different episode. Anyways, let’s continue.”

The Fireside Girls are gonna work on their accomplishment patches.

Said girls looked down at the patches on their sashes and beamed in pride. The young ladies from the other groups looked on in interest.
Candace is not excited, saying that their grandparents’ cabin is boring and she hates the outdoors.

“Aw, come on, kid. Connecting with nature is wonderful !” Eda argued.

“Trust me, nature and I did not get along back then,” she grimaced. Then it changed to a smile. “But, yeah. Once I figured things out, it was wonderful!” she responded, thinking back to her time in Africa.
Candace asks if she can do something with her parents instead, who say that they're going to the antiques symposium. This year's keynote address will debate Shellac vs. Lacquer.
The teens grimaced.

“That does sound fun!” Hopediah exclaimed.

“Nah! Stuff like that isn’t fun unless it’s something valuable you can sell,” Stan waved off.

“Or steal!” Eda cheered with her fists in the air.

Those unfamiliar with Eda’s lifestyle sent her strange looks.
Candace: I'll take one of those shirts.

She starts sobbing.

They arrive at the cabin and are greeted by their grandparents. Grandpa Clyde briefly confuses Perry for Phineas.

Sheesh. And I thought I was losing my mind , Stan thought.

Grandpa Clyde: Alright, nature lovers! Time for vittles!
Phineas: (Laughs) "Vittles" is "Grandpa-ese" for "food".

“Grandpa-ese? That’s the perfect name!” Mabel complemented.

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

Agent P knocks on the door, and goes down the secret entrance with webs to his lair and comes out with a flower vase.

“Why was there a vase in there?” Wendy questioned.

Perry shrugged.
Major Monogram: Sorry about that, Agent P. We haven't used that tree slide in years. Not since I was at... the Academy. (Sad music) Anyway, Doofenshmirtz seems to be up to something, Agent P. He's hold up at his evil woodland retreat. You're mission is to find out what he's up to. Please, Agent P. Be careful. (Thinking) The Academy.
Monogram has a flashback about being forced to go to the academy.

“Major Monogram didn’t want to fight evil, growing up?”

Perry shook his head.

“ No wonder he’s so bitter!”

Everyone is having a good time except for Candace, who is lying in the grass with flies in her face.
Candace: Oh, quiet, you pesky bugs! I am trying to tan here!

“Awe, the bugs like you, Candace,” Mabel said.

“You’re just all rainbows and sunshine, aren’t you?”

“Pretty much.”
Phineas calls Candace his favorite camp counselor, and gives her a glass of lemonade.

Candace: What are you doing?
Phineas: Well, as camp director, I'd say I'm "Doing my job".

“Solid comeback,” Wendy nodded in approval.

Grandpa Clyde begins to talk about Bigfoot and sings a song .
Eda and Dipper leaned in from their seats. After everything the boy had seen in Gravity Falls, it wasn’t impossible that Bigfoot could be real. As for Eda, there was a possibility the sasquatch was banished from the Demon Realm.

“Just like giraffes. Bunch of freaks.
Candace: Ugh! Am I the only adult here? Why can't my grandpa act his own age?
Grandma Betty Jo: I think you should act your own age. And have a little fun. There's all sorts of fun a young adult can have here. You just gotta use your imagination.

The kids all nodded in agreement.

Later that night, Perry shows up at Heinz’s woodland retreat.
Doofenshmirtz: (Laughs) Tonight! It all happens tonight! (he sees Perry) Perry the Platypus! How unexpected! And by unexpected, I mean: (Record scratch) Unexpected. What are you doing here? This is my week off.

“Huh?” Anne and Luz blinked.

“Oh, it’s this night,” Doof sighed.

“What happened?” Hop Pop asked.

The scientist crossed his arms.

“You’ll see,” he grumbled.

Perry stares at the dinner table.

Mabel gasped.

“You’re having a romantic dinner date!”

Luz smiled, thinking about her awesome girlfriend. Then she blinked. Did Heinz fall in love and decide to quit being evil? Is that what happened?

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, that. (Laughs) Well, uh, well, I suppose you should know I- I've started dating again. I met someone online. I know what you're thinking, but- But we're meeting for the first time, and I'm-- Oh, you gotta go.

“That’s so sweet,” Mabel said.

“Uh, Mabel…” Dipper gestured to Heinz himself and saw that he wasn’t even looking at the screen.

The girl’s eyes widened slightly.

“…Oh.”

♪ ("Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!" Doorbell) ♪
Doofenshmirtz: Oh no, Perry the Platypus! She can't see you! She doesn't know I have a nemesis! Oh, and I- I don't have time to destroy you. Uh, you could be my pet. You think you can act like a mindless animal?

Everyone laughed at the flat look the platypus was giving.

“Yes. Yes he can,” Phineas laughed out.
Door opens.
Doofenshmirtz’s Date: Oh, uh, hello. I'm looking for Strudelcutie4427.

Stan and Eda laughed at the name. He stopped when Mabel elbowed him in the ribs.

“Come on, I think it’s sweet,” Mabel defended. Then she looked back at Henz’s date. “Ooh, she’s pretty.”

She notices Perry and picks him up.

Doofenshmirtz’s Date: Wow, aren't you the cutest little thing? Are you my date for this evening?

The audience blinked.

“She’s kidding, right?” Wendy questioned.
Doofenshmirtz: No, no! (Laughs) Uh, that would be me. I'm Strudelcutie4427. Nice to meet you. Uh, this is my pet platypus. He was just going outside for a nightly walk.
She asks if she can hold him a bit longer, and Doof decides he can stay, much to his discomfort.

Stan was beginning to see where this date went wrong.

Soos chuckled to himself. This was like the time he and Waddles switched bodies and got engaged.

Cut to the campfire.
They’re eating marshmallows and decide to tell scary stories.

“Ooh! I love scary stories!” Polly exclaimed.

“Me too!” King said.

“Me three!” Sprig added.

“It is fun to scare a bunch of kids,” Eda noted.

“I know, right?!” Stan and Doof agreed.

Grandpa Clyde: Okay. Anyone else? Uh, Baljeet?
Baljeet: W-what? Uh, uh, oh. Thank you. (Flashlight switch flips; Wolf howls) Well, this is a story about a kid who comes to this country, and goes to camp. He, like, has to share a tent with a bully. It's really quite terrifying, actually. Quite terrifying.

The audience was silent.

“…Okay~. That plea for help aside, any other stories?” Sprig asked.
Grandpa Clyde: …Take it away, Phineas.
Phineas: All right, Grandpa. I've got a good one. It's about Bigfoot!
Polly, King, Sprig, Stan, Heinz, Eda, and Dipper listened closely.

(Cut back to the woodland villa)
Doofenshmirtz's date: You are the cutest thing I've ever seen. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
Doofenshmirtz: You know, some people say we look alike.
Doofenshmirtz's date: Uh, I don't think so. (At Perry) Not at all. No, not at all.

“Okay, this is getting really weird. And not in a good way,” Wendy seethed.

“And yet, it is still very funny,” Soos said through his laughter, the kids joining in.

Stan cringed at the sight.

This is the worst bad date I’ve ever seen. And I’ve had plenty.
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, darling, you haven't even touched your cucumber water. I made it especially for you.
Doofenshmirtz's date: You know, Strudelcutie4427 was a lot less needy online.
Doofenshmirtz: (Sighs) I'm going to go get some air.
Doofenshmirtz's date: ...Lot less needy online.
Heinz goes outside and complains about always getting the crazies.

“Always? This has happened before?” Stan inquired.

“It wasn’t platypus that time, but yes. One of my past girlfriends was obsessed with another animal. That’s all I can really say with that silencing thing,” Doofenshmirtz sighed.

“He looks so lonely,” Luz whispered to Anne.

The Thai girl nodded. Even she couldn’t hold back her sympathy.

(Back to the campfire. Wolf howls.
Phineas: And they say that when the moon is full, like it is tonight, Bigfoot will return, and exact his revenge. (Leaves rustling) Huh? What was that noise?

“Awe come on~!” Polly, King, Sprig, Stan, Heinz, Eda, and Dipper groaned.

“We can’t see the story?!” Sprig complained.

“I can tell it to you guys later, if you’d like?” Phineas offered.

“That shall suffice,” King conceded.

Leaves rustle

Phineas: Huh? What was that noise?

Everyone gasps and screams.

Dipper pulled out his journal, ready to write down what they were about to see.

Baljeet: I really should have packed more underpants…

The audience cringed.

“Dude, we did not need to know that,” Wendy complained
The kids continue to scream endlessly in fear and terror at the sight of the Bigfoot figure.

Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Luz, and Heinz screamed.

Doofenshmirtz hears their hollers.)
Doofenshmirtz: (Gasps) That sounded like screaming children! But it's not my birthday.

Polly, King, Stan, Heinz, Eda and laughed. The others sent them bewildered looks.

“What? He has a point,” the tadpole argued.

He falls off the balcony screaming.

“Ha ha! You’re clumsy!” King laughed.

“Don’t you fall into the toilet once a day?” Eda teased, causing the audience to chuckle.

“Eda~!”

Cut back to the campfire. Phineas laughs, explaining that they're just dummies being pulled by Ferb.

Stan slapped his knee with a laugh, Eda joining in.

“That was terrific!”

“Thank you,” Ferb responded.

Stan laughed more then started coughing.

“Worth it.”

“Wait a minute. If Ferb is controlling the dummies, then who’s sitting with you guys?!” Dipper exclaimed.

Wendy’s eyes widened.

Please don’t be a shapeshifter! Please don’t be a shapeshifter! Please don’t be a shapeshifter! the two thought.

“ Relax ,” Isabella placated.
The Ferb sitting with them is revealed to be an inflatable dummy.

Dipper and Wendy sighed in relief.
Buford: That was awesome!

“I never thought I’d agree with a bully,” Anne said.

(Back to the villa, Doofenshmirtz pulls himself up all covered in leaves)
Doofenshmirtz's date thinks he’s Bigfoot and hits him with her purse, causing him to fall. Everyone was laughing except for Heinz and Stan, who winced in sympathy.
Perry leaves.

♪ Agent P! ♪

“Is it your grandparents’ cabin in this Tri-State Area?” Eda asked.

“Yeah, why?” Candace responded.

“Just a thought.”

So it’s not limited to that city.

(Back to the campfire)
Candace starts complaining again, calling Phineas a joke.

The other groups frowned at her while the Danville group smirked. This was gonna be fun.

Phineas: Your screaming might attract a real Bigfoot.
Candace: A real Bigfoot? Oh, give it a rest, Phineas! Everyone knows that there's no such thing as a real- (sees Bigfoot behind her. The monster roars.)

The other groups gasped.

“Hot belgian waffles!” Stan exclaimed.

“Say what?!” Hopediah screamed.

“Bigfoot’s real!” Dipper shouted, excitedly and started writing down everything he could see.

Perry’s eyes widened and gripped his armrests. He didn’t know this happened.

Candace: Oh, fine. What's this one made of? Popsicle sticks and glitter?
Phineas: Uh, no.
(Bigfoot roars)

“Run!” the other groups shouted.
Candace: Huh? GAAAAAH!

Bigfoot grabs her and eats her; making the kids run away.

Forgetting that Candace was right there with them, the other groups screamed in absolute terror.

“Hot belgian waffles!” Stan exclaimed.

There was a small thump noise and they turned to see that Perry was passed out on the ground.

“Perry!” Phineas exclaimed.

The three Flynn-Fletcher siblings hopped out of their seats and rushed right for their pet. He came to once they started lightly shaking him.

“You okay, boy?” Phineas asked.

Perry nodded slowly. Then he hugged Candace tightly, much to her surprise.

“Perry the Platypus, I’ve never seen you faint before,” Heinz said, stunned.

“Never?” Milly questioned.

The scientist shook his head.

“Dang,” Eda said.

“Wait, how are you alive?” King asked the redhead.

“Wait for it…” Candace trailed off as Perry curled up on her lap. She blinked for a moment before petting him softly.

Grandpa Clyde: (Laughs) Looks like we fooled 'em, ma! (Laughs)
Grandma Betty Jo: (Laughs) Did you see the look on their face? (Laughs)

The other groups were silent. The only noise heard was the laughter of the Danville natives.

The Bigfoot is revealed to be a costume worn by the real Grandma Betty Jo, while the one at the campfire is her twin sister Loraine.
Candace: That was so cool!
Grandma Betty Jo: Oh, good one!

“Twins!” Dipper and Mabel exclaimed happily.

“And they’re identical,” Dipper noted.

Stan had a small smile on his face.

“That costume looks so real . Where did your grandparents get it?” Anne inquired.

The Flynn-Fletchers shrugged.

“So, Bigfoot isn't real?” Dipper asked, remembering the notes he was taking.

“He could be,” Phineas answered. “We’ll figure that out next summer.
(Doofenshmirtz falls down and lands on the ground)
Doofenshmirtz: It's not the worst date I've ever had. There was that one that kept stabbing me with a fork.

The audience sent Doof sympathetic looks. The scientist just sighed. Then he felt a hand patting him on the back and turned to see it was Stan.

“I know the feeling. If I’m being honest, I’ve been divorced once and slapped more times than I can count.”

“You too? I’m divorced. Do you have kids, too?”

“Aside from my great niece and nephew over there? None. You?”

“I have a daughter,” he said proudly.

Doof is wrapped up in the ropes, sees the Bigfoot dummies and runs for it.

The others laughed.

Back at the cabin.
Candace laughs at the kids, saying that only a mature person like her could tell the difference. Then she sees Doof running with the dummies, thinks he’s Bigfoot, screams, and runs inside

“That was you ?!” Candace exclaimed over the laughter filling the room. Then she perked up. “You know what? This actually proves my point! There’s some sort of weird cosmic connection between you and us! Heck, you were even in the same woods on the same day !”

“Calling it a cosmic connection seems scientifically inaccurate, Candace,” Baljeet said. “It could just be a massive coincidence. That’s all that can be really said through the laws of physics.”

“This can’t be a coincidence! It happens too often . Besides, Phineas and Ferb break the laws of physics all the time! And don’t even get me started on Murphy’s Law!”

“…I stand corrected.”

Dipper made a mental note to bring all this up with Ford later.

The other kids look but see nothing.

Baljeet: Oh, I do not believe her one bit. Too much overacting.
Everyone laughed one more time.

“It’s even funnier because that was real,” Stacy said.
Phineas: Hey, Perry. Why are you all covered in lipstick?
(Suspense music, Perry chatters)

Perry could only shrug sheepishly at the looks and laughter he was receiving.

“That should have been me,” Heinz complained.

“Cheer up, pharmacist. Sure, the plata-thingy got the girl’s attention instead of you that night, but she was probably crazy anyways.”

“You do know I’m not a pharmacist, right?”

“You look like one,” he shrugged.

“Next up is the final episode of the Danville group for today. Then we’ll move on to the Gravity Falls adventures,” their host spoke again.

Tree to Get Ready

Candace and Stacy are playing a wrestling video game.

“I remember that game,” Anne said. “It’s a classic.”

“Classic? It’s brand new,” Stacy questioned.

“Wait, when are you from again?” Dipper asked.

“We’re from early 2020,” Polly answered.

“So the next time we all see each other will be in seven years?” Isabella stated more so than asked.

“…Wow. So, some of us will be in our twenties by then,” Jeremy noted.

“Why does that make me feel old?” Wendy questioned.

Linda says that she’s gonna run a few errands and to call if there's any trouble.
Candace: With my brothers, I'd might as well call now.

Cut to Phineas and Ferb with some wood equipment and Ferb wearing overalls.

“Already at work, huh?” Eda smiled.

“Yeah. Summer is only so long. We gotta make the most of every minute,” Phineas responded.

Ferb nodded in agreement.

The witch grinned. These boys were really growing on her.
Phineas: Huh. You're right, Ferb. I guess it would make a sound. Say, where's Perry?

Perry is sitting in his lair.
Major Monogram: There you are, Agent P. It has come to our attention that all pigeons have left the Downtown area. Of course, on the upside, I haven't washed my car in weeks.

“Ha!” Stan laughed. Then he stopped once he realized no one else was laughing.

Major Monogram: (Clears throat) We can, uh, only assume that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is involved. You know your mission.
♪ Perry! ♪

There’s the music again , Eda noted.

“What are you doing with pigeons ?” Luz questioned.

Doofenshmirtz paled. This was that day.

“Uh oh.”

(Cut back to Phineas and Ferb)
Phineas: That about does it.
Isabella: Hey, guys! Whatcha doin'?
Phineas: We remodeled our old tree house. What do you think?

“Wow! That looks so cool !” Sprig exclaimed.
They use tubes to get to the top. They haven’t missed it because they haven’t tested it yet. The boys land on Isabella with a thud and everyone laughs about it.

Hop Pop sighed. He just flat out gave up being afraid of what these kids were doing. No matter what, they always come out perfectly fine.
Phineas: Check out the view. Pretty sweet, huh?
Isabella: No doubt. What's that?
Phineas: Oh, that's just Candace's old tree-house. (Shows old tree-house) She doesn't use it anymore.
Isabella: Well, that's just sad.

“That is sad,” Mabel said glumly.

“It’s not that sad,” Candace responded. “I just outgrew it.”

Phineas: Hey, what if we gave it a makeover?
Isabella: Sure! Something more...well, I don't know...Candace!
Phineas: Yes.

“Makeover!” Mabel cheered.

Dipper shivered.

Candace and Stacy grinned, remembering the changes.

Perry arrives at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. and grapples up to the top of the building, uses suction cups to get in the top room, and sees Vanessa zapping the pigeons with a mind-control device and gets a picture of it.

“Who’s that?” Dipper asked.

“Why daughter, Vanessa.

Then he beamed and looked to the door.

Nothing happened.

“Hey! What gives?!” he shouted to the air.

“Vanessa will be joining us on a later episode.”

“Heinz just crossed his arms and grumbled out “Fine.”
Doofenshmirtz: Very effective, don't you think, Perry the Platypus? (Sips drink, then spits it out upon realizing Perry is here) Perry the Platypus?! (at some pigeons) Get him! Stop him! He's headed for that clearly marked exit!

“They’re not gonna catch him,” Soos said.
Agent P tries to escape, but is caught by the pigeons.

“…Never mind.”

Candace loses to Stacy again.

“Can’t catch a break, can you?” Anne smirked.

“Eh, it’s just a video game. Plus, Stacy’s the best gamer there is,” Candace said.

“Thanks, Candace. But I’m actually not the best. Have any of you ever played Bloodcraft: Overdeath?”

“Wait, are you talking about…” Jeremy began.

“PLATINUMPAZ.”

Many of the teens and kids in the audience shivered.

“Uh, I’ve never played Bloodcraft. Can you all explain who…” Luz asked.

“That player is relentless . They’re more brutal than anyone I’ve ever met,” Isabella stressed.

“A 100 level Deathslayer. I didn’t think that was even possible,” Baljeet added.

“They’ve killed me. They’ve killed me eleven times,” Dipper said quietly.

“Oh man. I’m from 2020, and even I know who that is,” Anne moaned.

“They’re still active in 2020?!” Stacy exclaimed.

Anne nodded.

“I’ll never forget my first encounter with them. My friends and I were teamed up, just killing some monsters and a few other players. We were surrounded but holding our own. Then they came and took out the entire hoard. PLATINUMPAZ cut through us like paper.”

“Wow. sounds like this PLATINUMPAZ sounds like a big deal,” Mabel commented.

“My dear sister…you have no idea…”
Phineas calls them over to see the tree house, and Candace almost calls Linda, but Stacy suggests they check it out.

Candace: Whoa! This is so weird. I can't believe it's my old tree house. Carpets, furniture, entertainment center. I mean, look at all the bells and whistles. Maybe my brothers have been replaced by aliens.

Candace shook her head and hugged her brothers.

“Nah. You guys just know me better than I thought.”
Candace can't believe they did this all for her.

“We’d do anything for you,” Phineas declared, ferb nodding in agreement.

“I know. And I’m sorry I took so long to figure that out.”
Phineas: (On speaker) You may begin bouncing.
Candace: Bounce?
Stacy: (Laughs) Come on! Bounce!
They bounce up the elevator, up some trampolines and land on the lookout with some can phones.

“You guys really went all out on this one,” Luz noted.
The phone rings.
Candace: Hello?
Phineas: What do you think of your new tree house?
Candace: I love it! You thought of everything.
Phineas: It gets better. Try pressing the THF button.

“What does THF mean?” King asked.

“You’ll see,” Isabella answered.

Candace and Stacy were practically bouncing in their seats from giddiness.

Stacy presses a red button, reading "THF". The tree house slowly transforms into a robot.

Stacy: Uh, Phineas? What does THF stand for?
Phineas: TREE HOUSE FIGHT!!!
Stacy: (Laughs) This is so rad!
“Heck yeah!” Polly and King cheered.

“Awesome!

“Children fighting,” Stan and Heinz said at the same time and blinked before sharing a surprised look. “Fight! Fight! Fight!” they cheered together.

“Is this safe?” Hopediah asked.

“They’ll be fine,” Eda waved off with a grinn.
Phineas and Ferb's treehouse transforms as well.

The audience looked on in eager anticipation.

Cut back to D.E. Inc
Doofenshmirtz: You see, Perry the Platypus, you are no match for my pigeons. I have conditioned their tiny, little bird brains to do whatever I say, by using my brand new very evil invention called: The Poop-Inator.

“Wait…is your whole plan just to get them to poop on somebody?” Luz asked incredulously.

“…Yes.”

Doofenshmirtz introduces Perry to his daughter Vanessa.

Doofenshmirtz grumbled incoherently. He wanted to see his daughter now .

Doofenshmirtz: Observe! With this, I can implant the target image on their tiny, little brains in a flash!

He zaps the machine at the pigeon, making it lose its feathers.

“Uh, what would that do to a person?” Anne questioned.

“I don’t know. It probably wouldn’t be good,” the scientist admitted.

Doofenshmirtz: It-- It works better from a distance. Anyway, today at Town Hall, they will award the key to the city to My-Goody-Two-Shoes-Brother Roger. Oh, how I loathe him.

“Oh, so this is one of your more petty moments,” Eda noted.

“Pretty much.”

“You have a bad relationship with your sibling?” Mabel asked sadly.

“Yes. I hate him more than anyone,” he admitted.

The siblings in the room shared concerned looks.

Another bad sibling relationship? Stan and Eda thought at the same time.
Vanessa: I like Uncle Roger.
Doofenshmirtz: Thank you, Vanessa, but I don't believe I was talking to you. Is your name Perry the Platypus? No, I don't think so.
Vanessa: (Sighs) I so should have gone to summer school.

“She should have gone to summer school. It’s the most wonderful place in the world,” Baljeet sighed.

The kids and teens from the other groups looked at him like he was crazy.
Doofenshmirtz: I will not be attending the ceremony, but my pigeons will be there to rain on his parade! (Laughs) You see, Perry the Platypus, my brother Roger is at the very top of a very long list of people I despise. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, music please.
Vanessa presses a remote which turns on a stereo. Doofenshmirtz puts on a boater hat and begins to sing.
Sings: "My Goodie Two-Shoes Brother"

“…Wow…you two really have issues,” Polly said.
Cut back to the backyard)
Phineas: Tree house fight!
Candace/Stacy: Bring it on, maggots!
Fireside Girls: (As Isabella holds up a Round 1 sign) Aw, yeah, let's go!
The bell rings

“Let’s go!” many in the audience cheered.
Candace and Stacy realize the controls are just like in the video game.

Stacy: Woo-hoo! Let's dance, dweebs!

They wrestle.

“Place your bets! Place your bets!” Stan shouted.

“I thought you’d learned your lesson,” Eda teased.

“I have. And my money’s on those two boys.”

“Well, mine’s on the girls. Whatcha got left to lose?”

Stan pulled out his brass knuckles.

“If I win, I get everything back.”

“I bet it’s a draw,” Mabel said, surprising them both.

“Uh, sweetie, are you sure you want in?”

“Yep,” the brunette responded confidently. “If I win, I get all three of those things. If I lose, I’ll make you both sweaters.”

“Deal!” he said, and immediately shook her hand. Eda raised an eyebrow. “Her sweaters are really comfortable.”
Phineas: Hey, stop leading!
Candace: You stop leading.

They pass through an old man's garden; the old man sees them and assumes it was the Super Grow Plant Food.

The audience chuckled at that.

Candace: Give him the twister! Fight! (Throws Phineas and Ferb in the air) Score!

“Yeah!” the girls cheered.
Phineas: Hit the crash button!

Ferb does so, and they get covered in tires and brace themselves for the crash, and they land by one of the downtown buildings.

“Is this safe for the people around them?” Hop Pop asked worriedly.

“It’ll be fine, Mr. Plantar. No one got hurt,” Phineas explained, easing the frog’s fears.
Candace: YES!
Stacy: Woo! Well done, Candirocks.
Candace: Let's nail 'em!

“Go girls!” the ladies shouted.

“Come on, boys! Get me my stuff back!” Stan cheered.
Phineas: Come on, Ferb. (Dressed as a pirate) The enemy is upon us! Man the cannons!

(Cannon comes out with Ferb wearing a blue hat) FIRE! (Cannon fires)

“Nice costume,” Luz praised.

“Thanks.”
Candace and Stacy start pulling some levers, causing the pink robot's mouth to open and purple water balloons to fire.
Phineas: (He and Ferb are wearing Army outfits) Incoming!

They get hit by the purple water balloons.
“Yeah!” Polly cheered.

“Wait, I don’t get it. How’d you two change so quickly?” Heinz asked.
The yellow robot's mouth opens to reveal water with a lifeboat, an oar and a couple of fish to come out.

“How are you guys storing all that water?” Polly questioned.

“We can explain it to you later, if you’d like?”

“Yes, please!”
Phineas: (wearing knight's armor) Egad, man! It's an end run around the middle! (Ferb's revealed to be wearing a Scottish outfit) Sound retreat!
Ferb salutes and plays the bagpipes.

“Is nobody else gonna ask how they changed clothes that quickly?” Doof inquired.

The others just shrugged.

(Cut to the car wash)
Linda: Hmm. That's funny. I haven't gotten the usual call from Candace.

She takes out her phone out and calls her.

Candace made a mental note to call Mom when they were having a good time.

(Cut back to downtown)
Phineas: Come and get me! (Sticks its bottom out releasing a horse and runs

Linda calls Candace and tells her that she’s coming home, much to her dismay.

“You should have fun with your brothers more often,” Eda said.

Candace nodded.

Phineas: Phineas and Ferb to Robo-Girls; (he and Ferb are wearing chicken costumes) Last one home is a big old purple pickled egg!
Ferb: (Imitates chicken clucking noise)

Cut back to D.E. Inc
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, the award ceremony. And there's my insipid brother Roger. (the tower viewer goes out and Doof has to put in another coin.

Doofenshmirtz: Now, what was I saying-- Oh! I despise him so much. You are about to witness a truly petty act of vengeance, Perry the Platypus, brought on by my own mindless jealously. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, fire the harpoon! (Vanessa shoots the harpoon) Perfect. The time has come! Do not fail me, my pigeons!

The pigeons walk out on the rope in a line

Luz and Anne did their best to hold down the contents of their stomachs.
Roger: Ladies and Gentlemen, as the most handsome and charming man in all the Tri-State Area, I hereby promise to keep our city clean.

“Well, he’s pretty egotistical,” Dipper commented.

“And that’s part of why I hate him.”
Doofenshmirtz: Pay attention and learn something, Perry the Platypu-- Wait, wait! Where's Perry the Platypus?

Doofenshmirtz: He's escaping, WITH THE POOP-INATOR!

“You didn’t,” Wendy said to the platypus.

Perry gave her a sheepish look.
Perry takes out the chip out of the Poop-Inator. He grabs the chip from his fedora, puts it in the Poop-Inator, and then shoots the Poop-Inator at the pigeons, who then fly to Doofenshmirtz.

“You did.”

“That’s not gonna be good,” Stan said.

Eda, King, and Sprig grinned at the screen. They were going to enjoy this.

At the same time, the tree-house robots trip on the rope and start to race there, rolling all the way with Agent P in tow.

“This one wins it, Pines!” Eda exclaimed.

“Come on! Win, dang it! Win!” Stan begged.
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Uh oh. (He looked through his binoculars to see the pigeons coming right for him.) This is not going to end well for me, I'm afraid.

“Ah! I can’t watch!” Soos exclaimed and covered his eyes. Then he started peeking through his fingers.
Vanessa: That's what you get for using a bunch of stupid pigeons.
Doofenshmirtz: Wait for me! (runs with her) Hold the door, please.

The door closes on him, and when the other door opens, Doofenshmirtz runs inside.

Polly couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that his daughter straight up left him there.

Doofenshmirtz: Come on, come on, come on, come on!

It’s too late, as the pigeons assault the screaming Doofenshmirtz as the door closes. It’s pretty clear what they do to him in the elevator.

Eda, King, Sprig, and Soos laughed at the scene. The people from Danville, Stan, Hopediah, and Wendy winced in sympathy. The rest were thoroughly repulsed by it.

“Okay, that’s gross,” Dipper said.

“Are you kidding me? It’s hilarious!” Sprig argued.

“His screams make it even more satisfying!” King declared.

Luz began to gag and ran to the corner. Candace, Dipper, Mabel, and Anne soon joined her.

Heinz lost count of how many times he’d crossed his arms and grumbled at this point.

Linda driving home with the tree-house robots rolling the same direction with Perry in tow; immediately the treehouses land in the backyard with Isabella holding the game over sign and the Fireside Girls giving them a score of 60.

“It’s a draw!” the Fireside girls announced.

“Huh?” Eda and Stan said.
While that was happening, Linda pulls in the driveway. They argue over who won the race.

“Everybody wins!” Mabel cheered. Then she turned to her Grunkle and Eda. “Hand it over.”

Dipper, Luz, and King laughed at their stunned faces.

Finally recovering from his shock, Stan chuckled and handed his grandniece his brass knuckles.

“Here you go, sweetie.”

I’ve never been more proud of her in all my life.

Eda snorted and shook her head fondly.

“Well played, kid,” she said, giving Mabel her winnings.

“I will wear this stuff for the rest of the day. Then I’ll give them back to you, Grunkle Stan.”

“Thanks, Mabel,” he grinned.

Linda: Looks like you're having fun.

“We did have fun,” Candace indeed happily.
Phineas: Well, Mom, you know what they say.

Candace and Stacy proceed to shoot a water balloon at Phineas.

“Nice shot!” Sprig praised.

“Thanks!”
Ferb: Fun never falls too far from the tree house.

He gets hit by a water balloon as well.

The audience smiled as the episode ended.

“Okay. So, to recap, your adventures are about building spectacular inventions that end up disappearing every day because of the fights between your pet platypus and an evil scientist?” Dipper questioned.

The Danville group nodded.

“But why, though? Why does it follow that specific formula?” Candace wondered.

“Who can say, Candace? But all in all, I don’t think it really matters,” Phineas responded.

“But it does matter, Phineas,” his sister argued. “You know Mom thinks I’m crazy, right?”

His eyes widened.

“She does?”

“Yes. And I’m sick of it! But why does it have to be that way? Why does Mom never see what you do? Why did I suffer all that humiliation?” she questioned, a tear slipping down her cheek.

The two boys hugged her and she hugged them back.

“Well, looking at it from that perspective, it does matter. And we’ll help you figure it out.”

Ferb nodded in agreement.

“Thank you,” she quietly thanked her little brothers.

“Come to think of it, whatever’s causing this phenomenon is probably causing mine too.”

“Your’s?” Dipper asked.

“I get hurt a lot . Pretty much anything that can go wrong for me usually does. And yet I always survive and am perfectly fine by the next day. I call it Heinz’s Law.”

“There’s Murphy’s Law as well,” Isabella added.

“Wait, I think I remember reading about that one night when I was bored,” Luz began. “It’s where the males in this Murphy family have this effect that causes anything that can go wrong around them to do so. Right?”

“That is correct. There’s also what I’m calling the Phineas and Ferb Effect, which is literally the exact opposite of Murphy’s Law. And the laws of physics have no explanation for these things,” Baljeet said.

I really need to talk to Great Uncle Ford about this! Dipper thought.

“Maybe Candace is right. Maybe it is some kind of big cosmic deal,” King added.

“Well who or what could be making reality act this way?” Polly questioned.

The Gravity Falls crew froze at that moment. There was at least one thing that could.

“We learned a while ago,” Dipper began. “That there are beings so powerful that they can alter reality itself.”

Everyone turned to the boy.

“What?” Isabella questioned. “There are?”

The Gravity Falls crew nodded.

“…How many are there?” Anne inquired.

Dipper hesitated.

“I think that might be a spoiler.”

“Wait, so could one of these beings be responsible for all these weird effects, laws, whatever?” Candace questioned with an intense gaze.

“It’s a possibility.”

Candace was silent for a few minutes. Then she got a determined look.

“I swear, I will find out who’s responsible for this, and they will be so busted !” the Flynn girl vowed.

“That’s my girl,” Jeremy said fondly.

“We’ll help you, sis,” Phineas promised.

Ferb and the others from Danville nodded, promising as well.

“I’m definitely helping, because I’ve got some strong words for whatever cosmic being is making me endure so much pain,” Heinz said.

“Thanks guys,” Candace said.

“Alright everyone. How about you all return to your rooms and take an intermission? Even Caesar needed rest,” they heard the disembodied voice of their host offer.

Everyone nodded and left for their different group rooms.

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Chapter 3: What A Weird Town: Part 1

Chapter Text

The Danville Room

The guests walked through the door and into the backyard, where they were met with Major Monogram looking sternly at them.

“Agent P, a moment please?”

Perry nodded and followed his boss to the entrance hidden on the side of the house. They slid down and arrived in the spy’s lair.

“Agent P, while normal circ*mstances would have us erase the minds of everyone here, it looks like our host will be doing that for us,” the Major chuckled. Then he coughed and put on his stern face. “However, I do not fully trust whoever this is. Your mission while we’re here is to find out whatever you can about our host. Also, it looks like there are a few animals in the other groups. See if you can recruit them. Oh, and keep Dr. Doofenshmirtz out of trouble. Monogram out.”

Perry saluted, pulled out his jetpack, and flew out of the lair.

Monogram looked around for a second.

“Huh. I can’t seem to remember where the human exits are.” He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Carl, where are the human exits in Agent P’s lair?”

The intern sighed on the other end.

“Let me explain it to you again, sir.”

Perry landed in the grass next to his family.

“Jetpacks are the coolest!” Buford cheered.

“Hey, we should all go flying together after we’re done watching today. You in, Perry?” Phineas asked.

The platypus smiled and nodded.

“Awesome!”

Heinz had a small smile at the interaction.

“Dad?”

He turned to see his daughter walking towards him.

“Vanessa! I’m so glad to see you! When does your nametag-” He was cut off by the teen giving him a hug. “…I feel like I missed something.”

“I never knew how bad your childhood was until I saw it. What your dad did to you was horrible. And I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

His expression softened, and the scientist returned the hug.

“Thanks, Pumpkin.”

After a few more moments they broke apart and Heinz looked down at her nametag.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz

S1E15/I Scream, You Scream

“Wait, is that the one where I got covered in ice cream?”

Candace tapped her little brother’s shoulder.

“Hey, Phineas? Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure.” They went into the kitchen so they could be alone.

Then Norm walked past the two and stopped before the Doofenshmirtz’s.

“Hello, Dr. Doofenshmirtz!”

“Norm? Have you been here the whole time?”

“Yes.

“Huh. Okay,” the father and daughter shrugged.

They looked at his nametag.

Norm

S1E25/Greece Lightning

“I don’t know this one,” Doof said, puzzled.

“Probably something the boys did,” Vanessa responded.

“Hey, do you guys think that the singing is actually kinda out of place?” Stacy questioned the group at large.

“Not here, it isn’t,” Baljeet said. “Although the other groups made a valid point.”

“Does that make Danville odd compared to the rest of the world?” Vanessa wondered.

“Not entirely. People sing like we do in Drusselstein as well,” Norm answered.

“Don’t steal my input Norm. But yeah, he’s right.”

Candace and Phineas came back outside, rejoining their separate friend groups. Phineas was smiling but Candace’s eye kept twitching.

“You alright, Candirocks?” Stacy asked her best friend upon seeing her bland look. Jeremy and Vanessa turned to her as well.

“Front yard. Now.” She grabbed them by the arms and dragged them to the front yard. She let them go and took a deep breath. “HE’S NOT EVEN AWARE OF HIS OWN FEELINGS FOR HER!” she shouted.

The three winced from the volume.

“…That bad, huh?” Jeremy inquired.

The redhead groaned.

“He thinks that he’s so close to her because they’re best friends. But I can tell that he likes her…and he doesn’t even know it!”

“Maybe he’ll figure it out while we’re here?” Vanessa suggested.

Candace gave her a flat look.

“On his own? Not gonna happen.”

“He has traveled through time. So who knows?” Jeremy said.

“We could meddle?” Stacy suggested.

Candace perked up.

“Meddle? How?”

Meanwhile, in the backyard…

“Hey, Buford? What episode are you joining us for?” Isabella asked.

“It’s right here on my nametag.”

Buford Van Stomm

S1E19/Voyage to the Bottom of Buford

“Oh yeah~. That’s the day we rescued Biff,” Phineas observed.

“That makes sense,” Baljeet added.

Carl and Major Monogram then walked up to them.

“What about you guys?” Isabella asked.

“Look right here,” Carl said.

Carl the Intern and Major Francis Monogram

S3E32-34/Where’s Perry?

The group tilted their heads.

“Which one is that?” Phineas asked.

“You know, I’m actually not sure. Carl?” Monogram asked.

“Well, sir. If you take into account that it involves us, it can’t just be any regular time they looked for Agent P. What do you think, Agent P?”

The platypus thought about it for a moment. Then he perked up and started writing a response on his notepad.

The adventure in Africa.

“Wait a minute, are you guys the reason Perry somehow ended up in Africa?” Phineas queried.

“Uh…” Carl began.

“Yes! That is exactly what happened!” Francis cut in.

“Sir, what are you doing?” Carl whispered.

“They don’t need to know about that just yet,” he whispered back. The two shared a glance at the children who were now talking animatedly with Perry about the things they could do together, while they were here. “Let’s ease them in. They are kids after all.”

The Gravity Falls Room

Wendy went off to her friends while the others met with Ford.

“Great Uncle Ford, what do you think of all those phenomena we talked about at the end?” Dipper asked.

“Well, Dipper, I’ve studied Murphy’s Law and they’re right. There is no scientific explanation for it.”

“So could Bill be responsible for it?”

The scientist thought for a moment.

“It’s a strong possibility. However, he’s not the only cosmic being that we know of. I’ve read your notes on this Time Baby, and you and Mabel encountered the Axolotl, correct?”

The twins nodded.

“Could it be the Axolotl?” Mabel asked.

“Or Time Baby?” Dipper added.

“Perhaps. Or maybe it’s someone we don’t yet know of.”

“Some of our new friends probably know who this dude is,” Soos suggested.

“While we’re talking about this, did you guys notice that King kinda sounds like…” Mabel began nervously.

“Bill,” Ford nodded.

“But how? I mean, he can’t actually be him. You erased my mind and I punched him into pieces,” Stan argued.

“Hopefully it’s just a coincidence. In the meantime, I think you kids should keep an eye on him.”

“Can do, Grunkle Ford!” Mabel saluted before the two ran off to join Candy and Grenda.

“So, what do you make of the Danville group?” Stan asked his brother.

Ford began to beam in excitement.

“Those boys are brilliant! I’ve never seen anyone so skilled at such a young age!”

“They really do know how to make some fine thingamajigs!” McGucket praised, walking up to the pair.

“And what about Heinz?” Stan asked.

“He’s uh…well…” Stanford began.

“Smart but also stupid?” Stan finished.

“…Yes.”

“He kinda reminds me of myself a bit. Since I lost my memory, I mean,” Fiddleford admitted.

“Huh. That’s a good way of saying it.”

“But how did he power that ray with a mouse on a wheel?” Stan questioned. “I had to use nuclear waste to power the portal. He clearly knows what he’s doing there.”

“I must admit, I am eager to compare notes with him,” Ford said.

Stan chuckled, Then he looked at the pair’s nametags.

Stanford Pines

S2E11/Not What He Seems

Fiddleford McGucket

S2E7/Society of the Blind Eye

“Say, McGucket? What’s that episode about?”

Fiddleford rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ever wonder how those kids got that memory gun?”

Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were talking with Candy and Grenda.

“Those boys are so cool! And that platypus is so cute!” Candy praised.

“But how is he so smart? He’s basically a person,” Grenada said.

“I think Danville might be another hotspot for weirdness, but different from Gravity Falls,” Dipper answered.

“I wonder what other weird things there are? Aside from the singing,” Candy said.

“I love the singing! It looks so fun!” Mabel cheered.

While the girls started a new conversation, Dipper glanced at the Shack and saw Pacifica sitting on the porch. Alone. With her head resting in her hands, and a frown on her face.

The boy frowned and walked over to her.

“Hey,” the young Pines greeted.

“Hey.”

“Can I sit here?”

The blonde nodded. Dipper sat down next to her. He took a glance at her nametag.

S2E10/Northwest Mansion Mystery

It was a few moments before he spoke up again.

“Are you feeling okay?”

The Northwest hugged her legs.

“I’m all alone here. I’m not friends with any of you, and I’m pretty sure no one wants to be friends with me,” she answered quietly.

“…I do.”

Pacifica perked up.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Pacifica, you saved my life at the mansion, as well as the other guests. You could have left me like that, but you did the right thing and let the townsfolk in. Sure, you still have some things to work out,” he said, eliciting a small nod from her. “But you’re on your way to becoming a better person.”

The blonde blinked before looking away.

“You still don’t know me very well.”

“I’d like to get the chance to.”

There was silence for a few minutes. Then a small smile grew on her face.

“Where do you wanna start?”

“Are you a real blonde?” he questioned, holding a lock of her hair and inspecting it closely.

She lightly slapped his hand.

“Yes, I’m a real blonde!”

The Pines boy chuckled.

The Amphibia Room

“What do you know about this guy, Mr. X?” Anne asked the spy.

She looked at his nametag while he thought it over.

S3E6a/Mr. X

“Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was sentenced to community service at the end of the summer in 2012. Since then he’s kept his record clean. But that animal agency continues to watch him as far as I know.”

“Yeah, what the heck is up with that anyways?” Sasha inquired.

S2E20/True Colors

“I already have several theories,” Marcy began. “Half of which are connected to Amphibia.”

S2E6/Marcy at the Gates

“You think Perry could be from another universe?” Anne asked.

“It’s possible. I don’t know if he could be from Amphibia specifically, or even if it was him. It could have been one of his ancestors.”

A metaphorical lightbulb turned on in Anne’s head.

“Wait a minute…those boys have built a lot of crazy things.”

“I know! It’s absolutely incredible! I can’t even begin to calculate…”

“Hold on, Mar-Mar,” Sasha cut in. “Go on, Anne.”

“If they can build all that with such ease…then maybe they can help with a portal back to Amphibia!”

The other two girls’ eyes widened in shock. A moment passed before all three of them began to scream in joy, holding each other's hands.

“Guys!” Anne called out to the Plantars.

“Grimesey!” Sasha did the same, running towards the toad.

“Olivia! Yunan! I-” Marcy stopped when she glanced out the window to see Andrias sitting by himself outside.

Frowning, the Taiwanese girl walked out and sat next to him.

“Hi Drias.”

“Hello Marcy,” the former King responded quietly.

There was silence for a moment. She glanced at his nametag.

S3E17/All In

“You know, I don’t hate you for what you did.”

“You should. I tried to conquer your home. Kill your friends. I betrayed you. I stabbed you! And you were nothing but kind to me.”

“But you came through in the end,” she argued. “You helped us in our most desperate hour.”

“It’s my fault we were even in it in the first place.”

She shrugged.

“Maybe. But that doesn’t change the fact that you want to be better. Right?”

“…I…I do.”

“Then give yourself a chance. Please?” She placed her hand on his massive arm. “I miss my flipwart buddy.”

“…Okay, Marcy. I’ll try.”

Meanwhile, the others had heard the girls’ idea and were positively beaming.

“Glad you’ll be able to stick around, Lieutenant,” Grime smiled, placing his remaining hand on Sasha’s shoulder.

The blonde just hugged him.

Grime

S2E20/True Colors

“So, what do you guys think of that town?” Anne questioned.

“I think Terri, Jess and Ally would love to meet them,” Mrs. Boonchuy laughed.

“Especially if they really can help with the portal,” her husband added.

Oum and Bee Boonchuy

S3E1/The New Normal

“I can’t believe we won’t have to say goodbye!” Sprig cheered, hugging Anne.

The others smiled.

“That plata-thing is a good fighter,” Grime praised.

“I admit, even I would struggle to battle him. And I am General Yunan! The-” Olivia placed her finger over the general’s mouth, silencing her.

Olivia and Yunan

S3E17/Olivia and Yunan

“We know, dear. We’ve all heard the speech.”

“I haven’t,” Anne said.

“Really?” Yunan asked eagerly.

“Anne, why~?” Sasha groaned.

“I am the great General Yunan…”

You know the rest.

The Owl House Room

“I want to meet those boys,” Alador said, eliciting laughs from his children.

“I’m sure you do, Dad,” Amity said. “But it looks like you're gonna have to wait a while.”

She looked down at his nametag.

S2E14/Reaching Out

Then she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind.

“Hello, Sweetpotato,” Luz greeted sweetly.

“Awe~,” the Blight twins cooed.

The young couple glanced at their nametags.

Edric and Emira Blight

S1E12/Adventures in the Elements

“Is that the day at the knee?” Amity asked.

“I think it is…Wait, Ed, what happened to your casts?”

They looked to see that the Blight brother was now perfectly fine.

“They disappeared while you guys were in the theater. And I’m all better!”

“That’s convenient.”

“Hey, Luz,” the rest of her friends greeted.

“Hey, guys. Whaddya think of those episodes?”

“I had no idea that humans could build all that!” Gus exclaimed.

“It’s like the stuff in Cosmic Frontier come to life!” Hunter added.

Willow smirked at the two.

“Those boys look like they’ll be fun to hang out with. But Phineas is really oblivious.”

“I know, right?!” both Luz and Amity exclaimed.

“She’s being so obvious!” Amity said.

“How can he not tell?!” Luz questioned.

Willow and Gus gave them both flat looks.

“What?”

Gus cast a spell circle and an arrow appeared, pointing at the two of them. Realizing what they meant, the young couple blushed.

“Oh…right.”

Meanwhile…

“There’s a connection between that town and the Demon Realm. I know it, Raine,” Eda argued.

The Bard nodded.

“I’ve been thinking the same thing. You noticed the singing, didn’t you?”

“Bard Magic, right?”

“I think so. This town isn’t far from the portal door, so magic from the Boiling Isles could be leaking in, and their singing could have some correlation with that and the other mysterious stuff there.”

“And no human that I’ve ever seen has heads or a neck like that,” Eda mentioned.

“You think they could be descendants of witches?” Lilith asked.

“It’d make sense. And who’s to say that Evalyn was the only witch to have children with a human.”

Eberwolf spoke in his beast language.

“Hmmm…I don’t know if they could use magic like us. Just because they’re descended from witches doesn’t necessarily mean they have a bile sack,” the Darius responded.

“I’ll look into it when we get to our episodes,” Eda promised.

“And what about their pet?” Camilla wondered. “Platypuses outside of the Tri-State Area aren’t teal, so could his subspecies be from the Demon Realm?”

Eberwolf chattered.

“He says it’s possible,” the abomination witch translated.

On the other side of the living room, two god-like beings were conversing.

“Collector, do you know any cosmic beings that could be responsible for all those…effects?”

“Maybe,” the child shrugged. “But it wasn’t me. I’ve never been to the Human Realm.”

“Could it be uh…the Archivists?” the Titan asked carefully.

They were silent.

“I don’t think so.”

“Anyone you can think of?”

“I did hear some stories about a few guys that could do that, but I can’t remember.”

“Well, please let us know when you do.”

Everyone returned to the theater and got seated.

“Before we begin, since the next three shows have a mystery element, I’ve taken the liberty to place codes in them.” Some of the audience looked intrigued. “Now, we will be watching three episodes. Tourist Trapped, Legend of the Gobblewonker, and Headhunters.” Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. “Let’s get started.”

Tourist Trapped

The screen shows a bright shining sun as birds fly by.

Dipper ( Narrating): Ah, summer break.

A man is grilling burgers while his twin kids are running around beside him. Others sit at a picnic table…

Dipper: A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy.

“Yeah. Summer only lasts so long. Gotta make the most of it,” Phineas said.

The others smiled and nodded in agreement.

The camera stops at the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign.

Dipper: Unless you're me

Mabel and Dipper Pines crash through the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign with the Mystery cart, screaming. They are being chased by an unknown monster, which is knocking down the trees.

“What the heck?!” Stan questioned.

“Oh, right. We didn’t tell you about this,” Dipper realized.

“I’m so confused right now,” Isabella said.

“Just keep watching.”

Mabel: (Looks back) It's getting closer!

The monster tries to catch the cart but just falls short. The cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.

“What is it? I can’t see,” Luz queried.

Dipper: My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror?

“Yes,” everyone except the twins said.

The creature of unimaginable horror throws a tree in their path.

Mabel: Look out!

The image freezes with Mabel and Dipper screaming as they run into the screen.

Dipper: Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.

“There better be,” Stan told his grandniece and nephew.

The intro plays.

The Gravity Falls crew sucked in a breath at the last part.

Bill, they all thought.

The twins held each other’s hands as the others shivered.

“You guys okay?” Anne asked.

“We’ll be fine,” Wendy said.

“That place looks amazing!” Phineas praised.

“This is in the redwoods, correct?” Baljeet inquired.

“Yeah, dude. And everyday is another adventure,” Soos responded.

“Everyday?” Sprig asked.

“Yes.”

“I wanna go there.”

Dipper: Let's rewind. (Flashback to Dipper and Mabel in their living room at home) It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.

Their parents take their stuff away, give them bags and put some sunscreen on their noses.

“That was fast,” Eda noted.

“You guys are from California?” Anne asked happily.

“Yeah, Piedmont,” Mabel answered. “Are you?”

“L.A.”

“We’re so close!”

Dipper: (Narrating) They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.

“Oregan, nice.”

Cut to Mabel in the attic hanging up posters.

Mabel: This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters! (Holds up hands, which have gigantic splinters sticking out of them)

“You’re taking that well,” Jeremy said.

Dipper: (Backs up into his bed, which Gompers is on; not narrating) And there's a goat on my bed.

Mabel: Hey, friend. (Holds out her arm, and Gompers chews on her sleeve) Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. (Laughs)

The audience chuckled at that.

Dipper: (Narrating) My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.

Mabel rolls down a hill of grass

Dipper: (Narrating) But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.

Stan wearing a mask scares Dipper.

The audience snickered at that.

Dipper: (Narrating) And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. (Stan slaps his knee) That guy.

Stan: (Coughs several times and hits his chest) It was worth it.

“It was,” Stan grinned.

Dipper just rolled his eyes as the others chuckled.

Cut to Stan leading tourists through the Mystery Shack.

Dipper: (Narrating) Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came.

Stan: Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!

Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures.

“You’re kidding, right?” Heinz asked.

“Nope. Tourists are easy to take money from,” Stan answered.

Doofenshmirtz cupped his chin in thought.

“Hmm…” Then his eyes lit up and he began to write on a pen and paper. “I’ll make millions!”

Perry just rolled his eyes.

Dipper sweeps the wooden floor with a broom while Mabel is looking at stuff.

Dipper: (Narrating) And guess who had to work there. (Not narrating; sighs)

Dipper: (Narrating) It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day…

The audience leaned forward in their seats.

Dipper and Mabel smiled. This was their first adventure.

Cut to Mabel peeking through Stan-bobbleheads.

Mabel: He's looking at it! He's looking at it!

Switches to a boy looking at Mabel's note.

Boy: Uh.. (Reading note) Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely! (Looks around)

Mabel: I rigged it!

“I like your tenacity, kid,” Eda grinned.

The older girls giggled at the scene.

“That’s one way to get a guy’s attention,” Stacy said.

“You know that’s not gonna work, right?” Polly questioned flatly.

Dipper: (Spraying a jar with water and wiping it; not narrating) Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part.

Mabel: What? (Blows raspberry) Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!

“Can’t disagree with you there,” Candace said, snuggling into her boyfriend with him laughing quietly.

Luz silently agreed, remembering her awesome girlfriend. God she couldn’t wait for amity to be out here with her.

Dipper: Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?

“You’re exaggerating, right?” Anne questioned the male twin.

Dipper shook his head.

“Just watch the screen.”

Flashback to Mabel with a boy near a greeting card display.

Mabel: My name is Mabel, but you can call me "The girl of your dreams." I'M JOKING! (Shoves him into the display) Ha ha ha ha ha!

“Oof! That’s ruff,” Sprig winced.

Mabel chuckled sheepishly, a blush slowly making its may on her face.

Cut to another Flashback to an older looking boy holding a turtle on a bench.

Mabel: (Jumps up behind him) Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?

“Good conversation starter, but maybe take it a bit slower next time,” Luz commented.

Cut to a Flashback at the Mattress Store where the young teen employee dressed like a king.

Mattress King: Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings!

Mabel: (Hiding behind a set of colorful balloons; pops out head and whispers) Take me with you…

Mattress King: Ah! (Cowers away from Mabel and drops scepter)

“That was too strong,” Isabella said.

Mabel groaned as she hugged her legs.

Candace frowned and placed her hand on the younger girl’s shoulder.

“Hey, I know what it’s like to be a little obsessed with a boy,” Candace comforted.

“Same here,” Isabella quietly added.

“A little?” Stacy and the other Fireside girls questioned dryly.

“Stand down, Fireside Girls,” Isabella ordered just as dryly.

“So, maybe we can help each other out?” Candace offered.

Mabel smiled.

“That would be great.”

Back to the present

Mabel: Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now.

Stan walks through the door and burps, but it gets caught in his throat.

Stan: Oh! Oh, not good. Ow.

The audience laughed at the timing.

Stan sent them all a glare.

Stan: All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.

Everyone says “Not it.” Wendy pretends that she can’t reach the signs.

Stan: I'd fire all of you if I could.

“No you wouldn’t. You love us too much,” Wendy teased.

“Shut up,” Stan said.

Stan chooses Dipper.

Dipper: Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched.

Stan: Ugh, this again.

Dipper: I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."

Stan: (Looks at Dipper's arm) That says "BEWARB."

The audience blinked.

“Cool!” Phineas exclaimed.

“You seriously didn’t find that suspicious?” Heinz wondered.

“Says the man who can’t recognize his nemesis without a hat,” the con artist retorted.

“That’s still very suspicious though,” Candace noted with narrowed eyes.

Stan: Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that.

Stan waved his hand to a fat, sweaty man who was laughing at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble.

“Say, boys! How much tourism does Danville get?” Heinz asked Phineas and Ferb.

“Danville gets a lot of traffic from across the Tri-State Area. So a decent number of tourists pass through,” the British boy answered.

“So guys like that,” he gestured towards the screen. “Pass through Dnville a lot?”

“Pretty much,” Phineas shrugged.

A metaphorical cash register went off in the scientist’s head.

Stan: So quit being so paranoid!

Gives Dipper the signs; Dipper sighs and heads out.

Candace frowned. This situation was pretty close to home.

Cut to a foggy forest with trees getting blown by the wind.

Dipper: Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say.

Dipper puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack." He starts to hammer a nail on another, but it makes a metallic sound.

“Huh?” several people asked.

“It’s a fake tree,” Luz realized in excitement.

After some more investigating he discovers Journal Number 3.

“Woah~,” all the kids went.

“Is that a six fingered hand?” Eda asked.

“It has a 3 on it. Does that mean there are more?” Sprig questioned.

He flips through pages, seeing many bizarre creatures illustrated in the book.

Dipper: What is all this?

“Eda, are those…?” Luz whispered

“Demons? I don’t know.”

“They could be,” King began. “They look like they’d fall under the three B’s.”

He then stops at a page that says "TRUST NO ONE" and starts reading again.

Dipper: "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it.

Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."

“Creepy,” Anne said.

“You mean creepy cool!” Phineas exclaimed.

“Mysterious…I love it!” Isabella added.

“I've never heard of a scientist like this? Have you, Dr. Doofenshmirtz?” Baljeet asked.

“I’ve been in the scientific community since the early 90’s, and I don’t know of anyone researching Gravity Falls.”

“So that book’s from the 80’s at the earliest?” Luz questioned.

The others turned to Dipper.

“Sorry guys. Spoilers.”

They just groaned.

Dipper: No one you can trust...

Mabel: (Jumps up behind a log) HALLO!

Dipper: AH!

Everyone either laughed or jumped in their seats.

“Ha ha! Good job, pumpkin,” Stan praised, ruffling Mabel’s hair.

Mabel: Whatcha readin', some nerd thing?

Dipper: (Hides journal behind back) Uh, uh, it's nothing!

Mabel: (Imitating Dipper) "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" (Laughs) What? Are you actually not gonna show me?

Dipper: Uhhh... Let's go somewhere private.

“You had me worried for a second,” Mabel said.

Cut to Dipper and Mabel in the living room.

Dipper: It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side. (Shows Mabel a page)

Mabel: Whoa! Shut. Up! (Pushes Dipper)

Dipper: And get this! After a certain point, the pages just.. stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared.

“Hmm…” Candace wondered. “Interesting.”

The doorbell rings.

Dipper: Who's that?

Mabel: Well, time to spill the beans.

she knocks over a can of beans on the end table.

Mabel: Boop. Beans.

The audience snorted.

Mabel: This girl's got a date! Woot woot! (Falls backward into the chair, giggling)

“Uh, what?” Polly questioned.

“What happened while you were gone?” Stacy asked incredulously.

Dipper: Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?

Mabel: What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLE!

She runs out to get the door.

“Wow. Way to go, girl?” Anne praised.

Mabel was silent.

Dipper sits down in the chair and begins to read more about the Journal.

Stan: (Walks in and sees Dipper) What'cha reading there, slick?

Dipper: Oh! (Throws the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine) I was just catching up on, uh... (Sees the cover of the magazine) Gold Chain For Old Men Magazine?

Stan: That's a good issue.

The kids laughed while the teens cringed slightly.

“Is that where you got this one?” Mabel asked, holding up the gold chain necklace she was wearing.

“Yup.”

Mabel then pops back into the living room with her boyfriend.

Mabel: Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!

Norman: 'Sup?

“Okay…” Milly began skeptically.

“There’s definitely something off about him,” Polly said.

Candace’s eyes narrowed.

Dipper is suspicious while Stan is nonchalant.

Mabel: We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. (Feels his arm) Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise…

Mabel blushed as the others chuckled.

“Girl’s got taste, eh?” Eda teased.

“Shut up,” Mabel responded, lightly shoving the older woman.

Dipper: So, what's your name?

Norman: Uh. Normal... MAN!

Mabel: He means Norman.

“He’s lying,” King stated flatly.

Mabel groaned.

How could I have been so oblivious?

Candace’s arms started to shake.

Dipper: Are you bleeding, Norman?

a red liquid dripping down his face.

Norman: It's jam.

“Okay, this is getting creepy,” Eda said.

Perry cupped his chin and narrowed his eyes.

Candace grips the armrests of her seat.

Norman: So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?

Mabel: Oh, oh, my goodness. (Giggles) Don't wait up! (Runs out)

Norman points at Stan and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out.

“He’s a monster, isn’t he,” Sprig stated more so than asked.

“Bust, bust, bust, bust, bust…” Candace kept saying in a daze.

“Candace?” Stacy and Jeremy asked.

“Bust, bust, bust, bust, BUST!”

Suddenly, she ripped the armrests off her seat. Many eyebrows were raised at the sight.

The redhead shook herself out of the daze.

“My busting sense is tingling.”

“We can see that,” Jeremy chuckled.

“…Are we gonna talk about how weirdly strong she is?” Sprig questioned.

Dipper: (Narrating) There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.

Cuts to Dipper in the attic.

Dipper: (Reading aloud from Journal) Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious... (Gasps)

Seeing from Dipper's point of view in the journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes Norman.

Norman: (As the zombie on the journal page) ' Sup.

Dipper: ZOMBIE!

Everyone sucked in a breath. The Danville group shivered. They did not have good memories about zombies.

“Oh my Frog!” Hop Pop exclaimed.

“Holly Titan!” Luz added.

“Hot belgian waffles! Dipper, why didn’t you tell me?!”

“You’ll see.”

Cut to Stan in the bathroom.

Stan: Somebody say "crombie"? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind.

The audience was grateful for the momentary relief from the terrifying situation.

“Well, glad to know I wasn’t hearing things,” Stan said.

Dipper looks out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms while moaning.

Mabel: I like you.

Dipper: Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!

The audience paled.

Norman: Huh, huh! (Puts hands around Mabel's neck)

Dipper: AHHHHH!

The only ones not shrieking were Dipper and Mabel.

Norman: (Removes arms, revealing flower necklace) Huhhh!

Mabel: (Gasps) Daisies? You scallywag…

They all blinked.

“That’s…not what I was expecting,” Gretchen admitted

“I’m still suspicious,” Candace said.

Dipper: Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?

“Eh? Could be both,” King said. “I think a zombie might be a bit of a leap, but he’s definitely not normal.”

Soos: (Screwing in a lightbulb) It's a dilemma, to be sure. (Dipper gasps) I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to yourself in this empty room.

There were a few chuckles.

Dipper: Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?

Soos: Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?

Dipper: (Looks down) Zero.

“Good point,” Phineas said a little shakily. “Maybe he’s not a zombie after all.

The other groups sent the boy and his friends concerned looks. Why were the normally upbeat kids so nervous?

Soos: Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf.

Flashback of a hairy mailman walking by Soos, who is eating his lunch outside. Soos scoots away from him, suspicious.

“He might just be hairy,” Wendy argued.

“True. But in Gravity Falls, no one can be too sure,” Soos argued.

Soos: But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock.

“It’s true. I can personally vouch for that statement,” Candace said forlornly.

Her brothers patted her on the back.

“Huh. Guess I should have figured you would,” the Pines boy realized.

Dipper: (Narrating) My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.

Cut to Dipper filming Mabel and Norman in the park. Mabel throws a Frisbee at Norman, who fails to catch it and falls over. Dipper stops looking through the camera and frowns at Norman.

“You’re gonna need more than that. He may be slow but that doesn’t make him a zombie,” Polly said.

Cut to Norman breaking through a door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel inside the diner. He stumbles around and crashes, trying to follow Mabel. while Dipper looks out from behind the menu.

“Now, that’s more like it.”

The Danville group exchanged worried glances.

Cut to Mabel and Norman frolicking in a field. But then Norman falls into an open grave, but soon then crawls out, hand first, screaming.

“Yep, that’s pretty zombie-like,” Anne said.

Dipper: (Narrating) I'd seen enough.

Cut to Mabel and Dipper's room. Mabel is brushing her hair and Dipper enters.

Dipper: Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman.

Mabel: Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!

She shows her cheek, which has a large red spot on it.

Dipper: Ah!

The audience had the same reaction, causing Mabel to laugh.

Mabel: Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!

Flashback to Mabel with a leaf blower. Putting a picture of Norman on the leaf blower's tube.

Mabel: Kissing practice!

“Uh oh,” Anne said.

“This is a bad idea,” King added.

“That’s not gonna end well,” Stacy mentioned.

“Oh, Mabel,” Wendy frowned.

Mabel leans into the leaf blower, but then it sucks in the photo and sticks to her face as well; she then runs around with the leaf blower on her face.

Mabel: AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!

The audience winced in sympathy.

Except for Polly. She was laughing.

Cut back to present.

Mabel: That was fun.

Dipper: No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!

He shows her the Journal.

Mabel: (Gasps) You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!

The teens looked at each other and shrugged. Eda blanched.

“What’s a vampire?” Sprig asked.

“They're like a human mosquito,” Anne answered.

“Oh~. Wait, why would she want to date that?”

“I’ll explain later.”

Dipper: Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM! (Holds book open to the Gnomes page)

Mabel recoils in disgust.

Heinz gasped loudly.

“Gnomes are real?!” he exclaimed.

“Uh, yeah,” Dipper answered.

“Huh, so the legends in Drusselstein are true. Then that means…” Then he paled. “Uh oh.”

Dipper: Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry... (Flips to Undead page) Sha-bam!

Mabel: A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper.

Mabel groaned at her past self.

Dipper: I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?

Mabel: Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking?

“That is physically impossible,” Baljeet stated.

Dipper: Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!

Mabel: Well, what about me , huh? Why can't you trust me? (Puts on star earrings) Beep bop!

Dipper: Mabel, (shaking her) he's gonna eat your brain!

“Listen to him!” Candace, Anne, and Luz exclaimed.

Mabel: (Pushes him away) Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY…

She pushes Dipper out of the room.

Dipper: Bu-bu-but—

Mabel: And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!

She slams the door in his face.

Dipper: (Sighing and sitting down) What am I gonna do?

“Oof. That was hard to watch,” King said.

Mabel sighed.

Cut to the clock, which tells the time at 5:00 the doorbell rings. Mabel pulls on her sweater as she races downstairs.

Mabel: Coming!

She sees Norman at the door.

Mabel: Hey, Norman. How do I look?

Her sweater is covered in glitter.

Norman: Shiny. . .

“Wow. that’s a nice sweater,” Ginger praised.

“Thanks! Do you guys all want ones of your own?” Mabel asked the audience.

Candace shrugged.

“Sure.”

“I’m up for it,” Anne said.

“Yes, please!” Luz added.

Mabel: You always know what to say!

She walks off with him.

Dipper watches the footage he collected

Dipper: Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence.

He fast forwards to Mabel and Norman with his arm around her.

Dipper: I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and— (on the tape, Norman's hand falls off; he glances around, then reattaches it) Wait, WHAT?!

“His hand fell off!” Sprig exclaimed.

“He is a zombie!” Luz screamed.

“He is so busted!” Candace cheered. Then she sucked in a breath. “Oh my gosh! She’s in danger! Go save your sister!”

Dipper rewinds the tape and watches it again, screams, and tips the chair backwards.

Dipper: I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

Dipper races outside trying to get Stan’s attention. Unfortunately, he’s too busy trying to explain “Rock that looks like a face Rock” to a bunch of tourists.

Stan: For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!

“This is the worst possible time!

Cut to Mabel and Norman in the woods.

Mabel: Finally, we're alone.

Norman: Yes. Alone…

The audience shared uneasy looks.

Cut back to the Mystery Shack.

Dipper: Stan! Stan! (Sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!

Wendy: (Just gives Dipper the key and walks off) Try not to hit any pedestrians.

“You’re a good friend,” Isabella said, the others nodding in agreement.

“Thanks.”

Dipper gets in and starts to drive off, but Soos stops to give him a shovel for the zombies and a bat for the pinata.

Soos: Better safe than sorry!

The Fireside Girls shrugged.

“He makes a fair point,” Holly said.

Cut back to the woods.

Norman: Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's... (exhales) ...there's something I should tell you.

Mabel: Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything! (Thinking) Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!

Luz, Anne, and Stacy couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

Norman: All right, just... just don't freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!

Norman unzips his coat and throws it off. Underneath it are five gnomes standing on top of each other.

The theater was completely silent.

All the teens, plus Eda, had their jaws dropped. Hop Pop and Stan blinked.

The kids were all laughing though.

“I did not see that coming,” Isabella said, wiping a tear away.

“That’s why it’s so funny!” King rescinded, laughing.

“And here we thought this guy was dangerous,” Polly smirked.

All the color drained from Doofenshmirtz’s face.

“Huh, come to think of it he didn’t look anything like the ones we fought,” Stan whispered to the twins.

Jeff: Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?

Mabel just stares at the gnomes shockingly with her mouth open.

Jeff: R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.

Mabel: Uh…

The older girls sent Mabel sympathetic looks.

Jeff: I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I'm sorry, I always forget your name.

Shmebulock: Shmebulock.

Jeff: (Snaps his fingers) Shmebulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?

Carson, Steve and Jason: Queen! Queen! Queen!

Heinz gasped.

“Oh no! Get out of there!”

“Why?” Anne questioned.

“You’ll see,” Mabel answered for him.

Jeff: Heh. So what do you say? (Taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion) Will you join us in holy matri-gnomey? Matri...matri- mo -ny! Blah! Can't talk today!

“Matri-gnomey,” Phineas chuckled.

Mabel turns them down.

Jeff: We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel.

The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles.

“Well, tha went pretty well,” Luz commented.

Mabel:Because we're gonna kidnap you.

“What?!” practically everyone exclaimed.

Jeff and the gnomes jump at Mabel, who screamed in fright.

Stan stood up from his seat angrily.

“That’s it! He’s dead! I’m gonna eat him for real this time!” the Grunkle promised.

The other groups sent him confused looks.

“…Uh, what?” Phineas questioned.

Dipper drives through the woods, promising that he’ll save Mabel.

“Hurry!”

Dipper arrives to find the gnomes trying to pin down Mabel.

Jeff: The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!

Mabel: (With Steve biting her sweater arm) Let go of me! (Punches Steve off)

Steve bounces around on the ground, then stands upright and starts puking rainbows.

“Huh. That’s interesting,” Stacy noted as the others laughed.

Dipper: What the heck is going on here?!

Mabel: Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! (As a gnome pulls her hair) Hair! Hair! Hair!

Dipper: Gnomes? Huh, I was way off.

Perry chattered.

“What did he say?” Mabel asked.

“He said, ‘Who would have thought?’ or ‘I like grubs a lot’,” the scientist translated.

“Definitely the first one,” Dipper said.

Takes the journal out of his vest and reads the relevant page aloud

Dipper:"Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

When Dipper lowers the book, he sees that the gnomes have managed to tie Mabel to the ground.

“That was quick,” King observed.

Dipper: (Walks up to Jeff) Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!

Jeff: Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?

Mabel: You guys are butt-faces!

This is Warden Wrath all over again, Eda thought.

“I heard legends about this in Drusselstein,” Heinz gasped out.

“How did they end?” Eda asked.

“Badly.”

Dipper holds up the shovel he brought and points it at Jeff.

Dipper: (Holds up the shovel he brought, pointing it at Jeff) Give her back right now, or else!

Jeff: You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—

Dipper just casually tosses him away with the shovel.

The audience burst into laughter.

“There’s their weakness!” Candace taunted.

Dipper cuts Mabel free with the shovel like a sword slashing down and they escape on the golf cart.

“Get out of there! Quickly!” Heinz warned.

“Come on. How dangerous can they be? Those guys are tiny,” Eda smirked.

“The legends talk about Gnomes’ special defense. And just wait till you see it.”

Jeff: You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE! Various gnomes come out and stack up.

“It’s already happening.”

Mabel: Hurry, before they come after us!

Dipper: I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!

They stop the cart as they hear a stomping sound. A giant stacked gnome appears.

Everyone’s jaws dropped.

“Okay, I can see what you’re talking about,” Eda said.

“And that’s why they protect our gardens in Drusselstein.”

The Gnomes growl.

Mabel: Move, MOVE!

Dipper drives the cart away just as the gnomes smash their arm down and it breaks out of formation, the gnomes quickly get back into place and start giving chase.

Mabel: It's getting closer!

“Looks like we’ve come full circle,” Luz noted.

The Titan Gnome grabs itself and throws several gnomes at the cart, they start to claw, tear, and chew on the roof of the cart. One of the gnomes hangs off from the side of the cart, but Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance and knocks him out of the cart.

“Well, that didn’t take much effort,” Eda said.

“I liked how you kept bashing against the steering wheel. That was funny,” Polly admitted.

“Thanks?” Dipper responded.

Just then another gnome jumps onto Dipper's face and starts clawing at him.

Mabel: I'll save you, Dipper!

Repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat.

Dipper: (Dazed from the punches) Thanks, Mabel…

“Sorry, Bro-Bro,” Mabel winced.

“It’s fine.”

The Titan Gnome then picks up a tree and throws it like a javelin at them.

Dipper turns the golf cart so hard that it skids to the sides before it tips over in front of the Mystery Shack.

“Hide while you can!” Milly shouted.

Dipper and Mabel crawl out of the cart in time to see the Titan Gnome approaching. Dipper quickly grabs the shovel and then throws the shovel at the gnome giant, only for it to be pinched down in mid-air.

“Use the bat!” Luz exclaimed.

“I doubt it will make a difference,” Wendy said.

Dipper and Mabel grab onto each other in fright.

Dipper: Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!

Stan and some tourists are distracted by the World’s Most Distracting Object.

“Dude, seriously?!” Anne shouted.

“Hey! In my defense, it’s a very distracting object! Just look at them!” Stan responded, pointing to Sprig, King, Soos and Heinz, who’s eyes were all locked on the trinket.

Jeff: It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!

“That ship has sailed, buddy,” Candace said dryly.

Dipper: There's gotta be a way out of this!

Mabel: I gotta do it.

“What?!” everyone exclaimed.

“Kid, don’t sell yourself like this!” Eda chided.

“Please tell me you didn’t actually marry him?” Jeremy pleaded.

“Don’t worry. I had a plan.”

Dipper asks if she’s crazy but Mabel asks him to trust her.

Perry’s worried gaze softened as he heard those words. He shared a look with Phineas and the two smiled.

Dipper glances at gnomes, then Mabel, and then backs away.

Mabel: All right, Jeff. I'll marry you.

Jeff: Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! (Climbing down to her) Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike. (Approaches Mabel and holds out diamond ring) Eh? Eh?

“Have to admit, it’s a nice ring,” Stacy said. The others sent her flat looks. “What? It is.”

Mabel holds out her hand as Jeff slips the ring onto her finger.

Jeff: Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!

Mabel: You may now kiss the bride!

Perry cupped his bill curiously. What was she planning?

Jeff: Well, don't mind if I do.

Leans up to kiss Mabel, but Mabel leans out to kiss Jeff, then takes out a leaf blower.

Jeff gets sucked half-way into leaf-blower.

The others cheered at the sight.

“Brilliant!” Candace praised.

“Very clever,” King said.

“You go, girl!” Anne whooped.

The Platypus grinned.

Mabel: That's for lying to me! (Increases the sucking power) THAT'S for breaking my heart!

Jeff: (Slowly getting sucked in further) Ow! My face!

Mabel: And THIS is for messing with my brother! (to Dipper) Wanna do the honors?

The siblings all grinned at the screen.

“Yeah, no one messes with our siblings except us!” King declared, causing the others to laugh.

They blast Jeff towards the gnome monster. The force from launching Jeff at the Giant Gnome made the twins fall back into a pile of leaves, as the giant exploded into separate gnomes.

The audience cheered.

“Excellent shot,” Alyson praised.

Gnome 1: Who's giving orders? I need orders!

Gnome 2: My arms are tired.

While Mabel moves the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away. All of the gnomes run off on all fours; one gets caught in a six-pack holder crying helplessly like a helpless animal or something. Gompers comes in and picks the six-pack holder up, before running off with the gnome still attached.

They all either laughed or winced in sympathy.

“…He’ll be fine,” Mabel said.

Mabel: Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me.

Dipper: Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there.

Mabel: I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.

Dipper: Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!

“Don’t worry, Mabel. You're young. You’ll meet somebody eventually,” Stacy patted the girl’s back.

“Who knows, maybe you’ve already found your special someone and haven’t even realized it yet,” Luz sighed, picturing her cotton candy haired goddess.

Anne co*cked an eyebrow at the witch.

“Yeah, maybe they’ve been in front of you all along and you just need to notice them,” Isabella stressed out, glancing at Phineas.

“What?” he questioned.

“Nothing!” she blushed.

The others shook their heads.

“I’m guessing the talk didn’t work?” Eda whispered to Candace.

The redhead groaned.

“He’s dense even with himself.”

“So you think he likes her back?” Sprig asked.

She snorted.

“With how close they are? Definitely. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

The twins do their Awkward Sibling Hug.

“Awe~. That’s sweet,” Luz cooed.

The two walk into the Mystery Shack.

Stan: Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or something? Ah ha!

Dipper and Mabel walk away, unamused at their Grunkle Stan's joke.

“Anne glared at the man flatly.

Stan: Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?

Dipper asks what the catch is.

Stan: The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something.

“Awe, you do care,” Wendy teased.

“Shut up,” Stan said.

Dipper: (Picks up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looks in a mirror) Hmm. That oughta do the trick!

“That hat looks good on you, Dipper,” Jeremy said.

“Thanks.”

Then Dipper realized something, and pulled the hat off his head and saw it was the pine tree cap. He and Wendy shared a look and saw that their hats were switched back.

“When did this happen?” the young lumberjack wondered.

“I don’t know. Has it been this way the entire time?”

Mabel: And I will have a... (Grabs item from box, hides it, and twirls around) GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!

Mabel whooped and pulled her grappling hook out.

Perry looked at the girl, intrigued.

Stan and Dipper look at each other as if Mabel was out of her mind.

Stan: Wouldn't you rather have, like, a doll, or something?

Mabel: (Fires the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it catches and pulls her up) GRAPPLING HOOK!

Stan: Fair enough!

Mabel fired her grappling hook at the ceiling and pulled herself up, giggling. The monotreme smiled and fired his own, hanging next to the girl.

“Grappling hooks are the best,” Mabel laughed.

Everyone smiled at the scene as the two climbed back down.

Cut to Mabel and Dipper's bedroom at night. Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing.

Dipper: (Writing in Journal while narrating) This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. (Looking at Mabel, who shoots grappling hook, then reels it back with a stuffed animal attached) But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.

The siblings shared smiles and hugs.

Dipper: Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?

Mabel: I'm on it! (Knocks light out the window with the grappling hook) It works!

The others laughed as Stan glared at the two.

“That money’s coming out of your pay.”

“You don’t pay us,” Dipper countered.

“Then I’ll start.”

“Yay!” the twins cheered.

“In negatives.”

“Aw man!”

Heinz tilted his head.

“That sounds pretty evil.”

“I’m not evil.”

Dipper: (Narrating) Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.

Stan walks into the Shack holding a lantern. He goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, and Stan walks inside, looking side-to-side before closing it behind him.

“Are you sure you’re not evil?” Heinz teased.

“I’m not evil! And you all know that I can’t explain anything because of spoilers,” he told the group before they could ask.

Anne narrowed her eyes after sharing a look with Luz and Candace.

I knew there was something wrong about him.

End credits: Steve pukes a rainbow for several seconds.

ZHOFRPH WR JUDYLWB IDOOV.

“The code!” Dipper exclaimed before writing it down.

“So, you knew what those gnomes were going to do?” Polly asked the scientist.

“Yes. Back in Drusselstein, there are folk tales of gnomes taking human girls to be their queen after the old one dies. Sometimes they’d talk about how they’d pile up into a giant gnome to fight predators. It’s why we have statues of them in our gardens,” Doofenshmirtz explained.
“Cool, but what’s with the ‘ward off black magic’ part?” Luz asked.

“Oh, that? That’s just the stereotypical European fear of witches making its presence known. Ridiculous if you ask me. Just because you have magic doesn’t mean your evil. There’s a lot more to it than that.”

“Huh. So there were witches in Drusselstein at one point?”

“That’s what the stories say,” he shrugged.

Luz and Eda shared a glance.

“Do you know who wrote the Journal?” Sprig asked.

“Spoilers,” Dipper responded.

“Aw man,” many of the kids and teens sagged.

“Do you have it with you?” King wondered.

“Uh…no. This one right here is my own,” lifting up his pine tree journal. “I don’t have…”

Suddenly Journal Number 3 landed in his lap.

“Here you go, Dipper. The only pages the other groups will be able to see are the ones shown in the episodes,” their host said.

“Wow~,” the others went upon seeing the Journal.

“Alright everyone, if that’s all then let’s carry on.”

Legend of the Gobblewonker

At the Mystery Shack kitchen with Dipper and Mabel having breakfast.

Dipper and Mabel have a syrup race. The syrup slowly drips down as the twins cheered on.

The audience chuckled at the two.

Mabel taps the bottom of her bottle and the syrup drips onto her tongue.

Mabel: Yes! (Coughs) I won! (Coughs)

“Hey, no fair!” many of the kids chided.

“Eh, it’s fine. We’re twins, so it’s different,” Dipper explained.

“What do you mean?” Anne questioned.

“Well, twins aren’t like other sibling relationships. You know how whenever a younger sibling gets in your face, it annoys you?”

“Yes,” Candace and Stacy answered.

“It’s the exact opposite with twins,” Mabel continued for her brother. “Anything can go wrong between us, or we get in fights, or something bad can happen; but if all that falls away, we will always have each other’s back.”

“We like each other. We’re also so familiar with each other we know the other person will forgive anything. So like, I can do this to Mabel…” Dipper lightly shoved his sister's face, eliciting a giggle from her.

“And I can do just that…” Mabel responds in kind to her brother.

“And we don’t care. It’s just a thing you have when you’re twins.”

The others smiled at the pair.

“You two are so adorable,” Luz gushed.

“More than me?!” King gasped.

“Awe, come here, you!” Luz picked the Titan up and hugged him tightly.

“I regret this!”

Dipper didn't like the fact that Mabel had cheated to win, but was satisfied to see her coughing on the syrup. He then picks up the newspaper and reads it.

Dipper: Ho ho, no way! Hey Mabel, check this out.

Mabel: Human-sized hamster balls? (Gasps) I'm human-sized!

“That sounds fun,” Sprig said.

“Reminds me of that ‘world’s largest bowling ball’ we built,” Phineas added.

“You made a…you know what? I’m not surprised,” Dipper commented.

Dipper: No, no, Mabel. This. (Points to a monster photo contest ad) We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?

Mabel: Nope, just memories. And this beard hair.

She holds up beard hair.

The audience cringed.

“Why would you have that?!” Isabella exclaimed.

Mabel shrugged.

Stan: Good morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?

Dipper: Um... Happy anniversary?

Mabel: Mazel tov!

They all chuckled.

Stan: (Hits Dipper on the head with a newspaper) It's Family Fun Day, genius! (Walks over to fridge and gets out milk) We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know, (sniffs milk in the refrigerator) bonding-type deals.

The twins ask if it will be like last time.

The scene cuts to a flashback of Dipper and Mabel painting counterfeit money for Stan.

Stan: You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman! (Hears police sirens) Uh-oh.

Back to the present.

Mabel: (Shudders) The county jail was so cold.

Everyone’s eyes widened.

“What the heck man?!” Anne yelled at the con artist with a glare.

“Okay, I’ll admit, not one of my best ideas,” Stan relented.

“Well, at least you got busted for it,” Candace mumbled.

Perry narrowed his eyes on him. What other crimes was this man guilty of?

Eda shrugged. It wasn’t the worst thing she’d done with her kids.

Stan: All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?

“That sentence is a contradiction,” Baljeet stated flatly.

Intro plays.

Cut to a road in the forest. Grunkle Stan is driving his car with Dipper and Mabel blindfolded in the backseat. Stan leans down to adjust the radio and the tires screech.

“Oh my frog!” Hop Pop exclaimed.

“Relax, Plantar. My driving’s fine,” Stan waved off.

“That doesn’t look like safe driving,” Candace countered.

“How many drivers’ licenses do you have,” he retorted.

The redhead was silent.

Dipper: Whoa whoa! (Sighs) Blindfolds never lead to anything good.

Mabel: Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!

Mabel touches around Dipper's face, making him laugh.

The audience smiled.

“He is right about blindfolds, though,” Polly said.

Car suddenly jumps, making the twins fly into the air.

Dipper: Whoa! Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?

Stan: Ha ha. Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?

Stan drives through a wooden guardrail, making the twins scream in fright.

“Cataracts?!” almost everyone screamed.

“We were fine!” Mabel defended her Gruncle.

“If you think this is bad, you should see the Drusselstein driver’s test,” Heinz said.

Perry shivered at the memory. That was the day he wrote his will.

Cut to the lake. Dipper and Mabel, still blindfolded, are standing in front of the parked car, which now has branches and sticks caught in the grill.

Stan: Okay, okay. Open 'em up!

Dipper & Mabel untie their blindfolds to see their Grunkle Stan all geared up for-

Stan: Ta-da! It's fishing season!

“That’s…actually kinda nice,” Luz said.

“I love fishing!” Sprig exclaimed.

“It’s our favorite activity,” Hop Pop added.

“I did not see this coming,” Gretchen admitted.

“What are you playing at?” Candace questioned.

“What? A conman can’t spend sincere time with his family.

Dipper is skeptical of his intentions.

Stan: You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!

Camera pans across the lake showing various townspeople doing different fishing activities.

The people in this town are…interesting,” Anne said.

Stan: That's some quality family bonding!

Dipper: Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?

Stan: Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't "like" or "trust" me.

“Gee, I wonder why?” Anne and Candace sarcastically stated. The two blinked before low-fiving.

Mabel: (Quietly, to Dipper) I think he actually wants to fish with us.

Stan slaps hats on Dipper and Mabel

Stan: Pow! Pines family fishing hats! That-that's hand stitching, you know.

The "L" on the "MABEL" hat peels off.

“Awe, you made those yourself,” Wendy teased.

“Yeah, yeah. I can be sentimental when I want, we get it,” Pines waved off.

Stan says they're gonna be there for the next ten hours, with 1001 yuk ‘em jokes, much to their dismay.

Many of the teens blanched at this.

“That sounds fun,” Hopediah said with Sprig, Phineas and Ferb nodding in agreement.

King shivered.

Old Man McGucket comes in screaming that he saw the Gravity Falls Gobblewonker, doing his jig of grave danger!

Luz and Anne blinked.

“Is it just me or does he look familiar?” Noceda asked.

“Yeah…Hey, who is that?” Anne questioned.

“Oh, that Old Man McGucket,” Soos answered.

The two girls’ jaws dropped upon hearing that.

“President McGucket!” they screamed, but were only heard by each other due to the silencing spell.

“What did you two say? Couldn’t hear you over that silencing spell,” Soos said.

Luz and Anne shared a look.

“Uh…nothing important.”

Eda married her eyes at her surrogate daughter.

Tate McGucket: (Comes out and sprays Old Man McGucket with a spray bottle) Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!

“Dad?! He’s spraying his dad?!”

Cut to the dock.

McGucket: (Points at boat) BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!

He points to Stan.

The audience burst into laughter at Stan’s expense.

The Flynn-Fletchers shared a look.

“Could this Gobblewonker be like Nosy?” PHineas wondered quietly.

“Let’s find out,” Ferb responded.

McGucket: It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!

Sheriff Blubs: Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!

Everyone but the Pines and the ranger point and laughs at Old Man McGucket. While Tate only shook his head in shame.

Candace frowned in sympathy, remembering how people reacted when she saw Nosy.

As Stan unties the boat, Dipper suggests to Mabel that they go after the Gobblewonker.

Dipper: Imagine what you could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!

Cut to Mabel's imagination. She is inside a human sized hamster ball.

“That looks like fun,” Sprig beamed.

“Hmmm…” Phineas hummed.

“You’re already getting ideas, aren’t you?” Candace deadpanned.

“Yes. Yes I am.”

The older redhead just shrugged.

Mabel: (Rolling back and forth) Aha haha haha. (Continues to giggle and crashes through the wall and rolls out onto the street and meets Xyler and Craz) Hey, boys! You can look, but ya can't touch.

The teens and adults gapped at the screen and stared at the girl. Then Eda let out a guffaw.

I like this kid!

“Why are you guys gawking?” Phineas asked.

“Nothing you need to know!” Candace quickly said.

“Sweet Titan, I hope she doesn’t understand what that implies,” Luz pleaded.

Cut back into Reality

Mabel: Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!

They couldn’t help but chuckle at this.

Dipper suggests to Stan that they go after the Gobblewonker.

Dipper & Mabel: (Cheering) Monster hunt! Monster hunt!

McGucket: (Joining the chant) Monster hunt!

Dipper and Mabel stop chanting and stare at McGucket.

McGucket: Monster... Eh... I'll go.

“Poor man. He’s so lonely,” Isabella frowned.

A large honking sound is heard. Soos pulls up in his boat, offering to join them.

Stan: All right, all right, let's think this through. Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!

“You should stay and fish with him,” Sprig said, surprising everyone in the room.

“Really? I figured you’d want to chase that monster,” King responded.

“Usually I would. But I love fishing with my Hop Pop more than adventures.”

The young frog’s grandfather hugged him.

The twins look at Soos in his boat; he does a robot dance. They look back at Stan in his leaky old boat; he sniffs his left armpit. They look at Scuttlebutt Island in the distance. They grin at each other and drive off laughing with Soos in his boat toward Scuttlebutt Island, leaving Stan behind.

The twins looked at their Grunkle with guilt.

“We’re sorry, Grunkle Stan,” they apologized.

“It’s alright, you two made up for it later.”

Cut to S.S. Cool Dude, headed for the island. Dipper stands on the stern of the boat, with one foot on the guardrail. He adjusts the visor of his cap and starts acting like a captain.

Mabel: (Holds up beach towel) We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!

Dipper: We're gonna win that photo contest!

Soos: Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?

Dipper: We're gonna... go get sunscreen!

“Ha! But good on you guys for going back for sunscreen,” Stacy said.

The boat does a U-turn away from the island. Underwater, a strange shape swims by.

The audience sucked in a breath.

“So there is a lake monster there,” Phineas observed curiously.

The scene begins with Dipper pacing on the boat in front of Mabel and Soos.

Dipper asks them what the number one problem with most monster hunts is.

Soos: You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie. Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?

The audience blanched at that. They’d all been in situations where survival was not guaranteed. And not all of them managed to last long.

Baljeet, the Fireside Girls and Jeremy shared a look, remembering how they turned into Pharmacist Zombies.

Luz closed her eyes holding back tears.

Oh Flapjack…

Dipper explains that they’ll need a lot of cameras and film.

Dipper: That's why I bought seventeen disposable cameras! (Revealing cameras as he lists off their locations) Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one... under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this.

“Wow, way to be prepared,” Candace praised, impressed.

The monotreme gave the boy a thumbs up.

Soos and Mabel accidentally keep throwing them away.

Dipper: Thirteen! All right! We still have thirteen camera- (He accidentally crushes one with his fist) Twelve. We have twelve cameras.

“They’re gonna fail,” Polly bluntly said.

“Polly!” her family chided.

“What? We were all thinking it!”

The twins argue over who should be captain, or co-captain.

Mabel: Aw, whoops. (Tosses a camera into the water)

Dipper: Okay, fine! You can be co-captain.

“Ha ha! Nice one sweety,” Stan ruffled her hair.

“Blackmailing him for co-captaincy. I like your style, kid,” Eda praised with a thumbs up.

Mabel beamed.

Soos: Can I be associate co-captain?

Mabel: As co-captain, I authorize that request.

Dipper: Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this. (Gestures at a barrel of Fish Food)

Soos tastes some and immediately regrets it.

Dipper & Mabel laugh hysterically.

The audience either laughed or cringed.

Stan shook his head.

“Soos…”

“Gross,” Candace wrinkled her nose.

Stan: (Watching them) Traitors! Ah, I'll find my own fishing buddies! (Looks around and sees a couple sitting in a boat up ahead) Ah! (Starts his boat's engine) There's my new pals!

“This isn’t gonna go well,” Wendy said, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

Reginald: (Turned away from , looking at a ring in a box; he takes a breath) Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you.

Rosanna: (Tearing up) Oh, Reginald!

The girls gasped and the boys smiled at the scene.

“Awe, he’s proposing to her on a boat. That’s so romantic,” Phineas gushed. “Wonder what it will be like when we get engaged…”

“You had me at ‘when we get engaged’…” Isabella dreamily said.

“What?”

“Boats! You had me at boats!”

The others did their best to hold in their reactions. The others though…

“This is painful to watch,” King flatly stated.

“How is he so oblivious?” Polly questioned.

Mabel screamed into her hands.

Luz took a big breath to try and calm down her frustration. In the corner of her eye she saw Eda, who looked like she was about to burst a vein.

Then a few feathers grew out of her arms.

“Eda!” Luz whisper-shouted.

The Owl Lady gasped before quickly taking a swig from her potion.

Stan: Hey! (Pulls his boat up to theirs) Wanna hear a joke? Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better! (Pause) Her aim is gettin' better! (Pause) Y'see, it's-it's funny because marriage is terrible.

The groups’ jaws dropped. Then they glared at Stan.

Heinz, Eda and King however were rolling on the floor laughing.

“So true,” Doof said, wiping away a tear.

“Tell me about it,” Eda added through her own laughter.

“Thank you!” Stan responded happily.

“I don’t get it,” Phineas said.

“How bad was your marriage that you ended up making that joke?!” Luz exclaimed.

Stan rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, there’s not much to tell. I bring her up every now and then, I tell jokes, uh you know sometimes comedy comes from a place of pain. You know I was actually married for less than a day. Vegas situation. We reached for the same slaught machine handle and it was love at first sight. Marilyn,” Stan sighed with a smile. “She had hair like an airline stewardess and a pink shirt that said ‘Over 30 and flirty.’ Man, I was-I was putty in her hands. You should have seen the way she threw dice. One time right at my head.” He sighed again as his smile fell and his shoulders sagged. “Turns out she only married me to distract me while she stole my car and all my winnings. And I guess her name was fake, and her hair was fake. But you know the love was real. She was the one that got away. Like literally. She was chased by cop cars for about a mile out of Vegas before ducking out a door and into a canyon, and making off with all my loot. Sometimes I still think of her. That pale bingo hall skin. That one weirdly sharp tooth. Sorry, I’m getting nostalgic. Point is, you know, I had love in my life once and uh and it bit me. You know I think I learned a bit of a lesson from that, which is if you open your heart, and uh blood comes out, and you die. So you know, try not to be a sap like I was.”

The audience couldn’t help but look at the man in sympathy.

“You said ‘you know’ like six times,” Baljeet criticized.

“You’re not helping, man,” Wendy chided.

Luz and Dipper blinked at the description of Marilyn.

“Wait a minute…” she mumbled.

Eda sighed as she finally stopped laughing.

“Did I hear something about Vegas? That place is great! Last time I was there I ‘got hitched’ or whatever you humans call it and stole a car,” the witch beamed proudly.

There was a pin drop silence in the theater. The audience stared at the two adults with gaping mouths. Especially their families.

“Wait, I don’t get it. What’s everyone surprised about?” Doof asked..

“Yeah, you gonna tell us what you’re gawkin’ about?” Stan questioned.

“Aw, who cares?” Eda waved off, not knowing or caring why.

The others stared at the three in disbelief.

Mabel gasped with stars in her eyes.

I have a Grauntie!

Cut to S.S. Cool Dude approaching Scuttlebutt Island. There is fog everywhere. Soos is at the back of the boat shoveling fish food over the side. Dipper and Mabel are at the front. Dipper is trying to see through the fog while Mabel is playing ventriloquist with a pelican, much to Dipper’s annoyance.

There were a few snickers.

They crash into the island and disembark,venturing into the foggy woods. Dipper leads the group while carrying a lantern. They soon come to a large sign nailed to a tree that says "Scuttlebutt Island." Soos and Mabel stop in front of it.

Soos: Dude, check it out. (Covers the "Scuttle" part of the sign) Butt Island.

There were laughs from the kids and groans from Polly.

“That’s the lowest form of comedy,” the pollywog mumbled.

Mabel teases Dipper for being scared. There's a growling noise in the distance.

The adults were looking at the three in slight worry.

Mabel asks Soos if that was his stomach. He says that his stomach usually sounds like whale noises.

Mabel: (Listens to Soos' stomach, which makes whale noises) Wow. So majestic.

Ferb pulls out a stethoscope and listens to Soos’ stomach. He gives the audience a thumbs up after a few moments.

Suddenly, a possum pops out from the fog and grabs the lantern out of Dipper's hand and runs off with it in its mouth.

Soos: Duuude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh... Maybe this isn't worth it.

“Finally! A voice of reason!” Hop Pop exclaimed.

Dipper: Not worth it? Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!

Cut to Dipper's imagination, where he is dressed like Indiana Jones being interviewed on a talk show.

Stan sends Dipper a glare, causing him to chuckle nervously.

“I’m doubling your chores next summer.”

Cut back to real life.

Dipper & Mabel ran off laughing along the way with Soos chasing after them.

Some time has passed as Dipper, Mabel and Soos wander in the foggy forest. To pass the time Soos and Mabel were doing some beatboxing and rapping.

“Not bad,” Anne praised.

“Thanks.”

The growling noise from earlier can be heard; a flock of birds flies overhead, away from the sound.

The kids excitedly march through the fog after the noise.

Walking through the fog, Soos stops the group when he spots a lake monster silhouette. The group ducks behind a log.

The other groups leaned over in anticipation and nervousness.

They all turn on their cameras.

Dipper: Ready? GO!

Soos yells and jumps over the log, holding his camera in front of him as he runs toward the silhouette, snapping photos at random. The twins follow him, but as they get closer, they discover the silhouette was the remains of a wrecked boat with beavers living on it.

The audience sagged in disappointment.

“Eh, beavers are still fun to see,” Wendy relented.

“Hey, their tales look like your’s,” King pointed out to the platypus.

Perry nodded.

“That’s weird,” Polly said.

“Yet cool!” Soos added

Beaver 1: (Subtitled) I love cavorting!

Beaver 2: (Subtitled) That deserves a hug!

Hugs Beaver 1.

The audience just stared.

“Uh, what?” Luz said.

“Are…are all animals sentient?” Anne questioned.

“We did build an animal translator that proved as much,” Phineas responded.

“Of course you did. But I think this might be limited to spots like Gravity Falls and Danville,” Dipper mentioned.

“Wait, does that mean that…” then Mabble gasped loudly and squealed.

I knew Waddles was smart!

Dipper: But... but what was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!

The "monster noise" sounds again. It turns out to be a beaver chewing on, and sometimes activating, a rusty old chainsaw. Soos takes pictures of it.

“That’s disappointing, but pretty cool,” Isabella said.

“Is the beaver with a chainsaw supposed to be symbolic?” Luz wondered.

Dipper: Maybe that old guy was crazy after all.

Mabel: He did use the word "scrapdoodle."

Luz and anne still couldn’t believe that that was their President. Did he regain his sanity before his campaign?

Cut to Stan teaching Hank's son how to thread a line. Hank’s wife demands that he go bother his own kids.

The twins hugged Stan as an apology.

Cut back to Scuttlebutt Island.

Soos takes pictures of a beaver posing on a stump.

There were a few chuckles.

Dipper: What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing. (Throws a stone into the lake and sighs. The rock Dipper is sitting on shakes) Hey... guys, do you feel that? (The rock sinks under the water and Dipper swims to shore) Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!

The Gobblewonker's silhouette is seen swimming away.

“It is real!” King exclaimed in excitement.

Dipper takes pictures while Mabel and Soos back away to his confusion. The Gobblewonker Swims back towards the island and begins to rise as the others speak. Dipper doesn’t notice.

“Now’s not the time to get lost in your head! As someone with ADHD, I know what I’m talking about!” Luz screamed.

Dipper chuckled sheepishly.

Dipper aims his camera at Gobblewonker, only to realize it's right in front of him. Roars, causing Dipper to drop his camera as the three run away. The Gobblewonker pushes a tree over which falls and almost hits Dipper and Mabel, but Dipper lunges at Mabel and they roll out of the way. They continue to run and dodge falling trees and eventually catch up with Soos.

The audience looked at the three worriedly.

Soos: Get back to the boat! HURRY! (The Gobblewonker snaps at Mabel who hops onto Soos's back)

Dipper: (Aims camera at Gobblewonker, but trips over a root, stopping the camera) The picture! (Starts to run back for the camera)

“Forget it!” everyone exclaimed.

Open with the group running towards the boat. Soos helps the others on, the climbs in himself. Soos's presence pushes the boat back into the water and he runs towards the helm. Soos throws the remaining cameras at the monster.

“Don’t throw the-ugh!” Candace complained.

The Gobblewonker dives into the water and begins to chase the gang. Soos steers the ship forwards and drives away from it, but the Gobblewonker still goes after them.

Cut to Stan on his boat, struggling to tie a knot

The audience frowned in sympathy.

Eda patted Stan on the back.

“I know how you fell, Pines. I can’t explain right now, but I’m sure you’ll see it by the end of the day.”

Some kids are having a sweet moment with their Pop Pop.

Stan: Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!

Pop Pop: Hey, now! What's the big idea?

Shmipper: Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, Pop Pop.

The audience wheezed painfully.

S.S. Cool Dude drives past him and soaks him. He throws his hat to the ground in frustration, then sits down and sighs.

“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” Soos apologized.

“It’s fine, Soos.”

Back with Dipper, Soos and Mabel being chased by the Gobblewonker.

The boat crashes into the old, broken boat and beavers fly everywhere, biting the boat and the crew.

“Poor beavers,” Luz said.

Beavers are biting Dipper's hat. Mabel shakes a beaver off of her arm, and a beaver lunges at Soos, who stumbles away from the wheel. Mabel takes control on the wheel, steering away from the Gobblewonker. Dipper tries to dislodge a beaver from the side of the boat while Soos runs in circles crying in pain from the beaver still on his face. Dipper throws beavers towards the Gobblewonker who dives and continues to chase them under the water. The S.S. Cool Dude drives through a place with people fishing, who are overturned by the Gobblewonker behind them.

“Those people just wanted to fish,” Hopediah sighed.

Cut to Manly Dan and his sons, Dan headlocking a fish and his sons cheering for him.

Their boat is turned over by a wave from the Gobblewonker. Fish start raining down on them.

Manly Dan: The fishes! They seek revenge! Swim, boys! Swim!

Wendy let out a guffaw at seeing her family like this.

Cut back to the S.S. Cool Dude. The Gobblewonker swipes at the boat and manages to knock the control cabin off.

There was a loud shriek. The audience turned to see it was Heinz. The scientist chuckled sheepishly.

The S.S. Cool Dude crashes through a sheet of glass being transported over the lake.

Mabel: (Sees dead-end ahead) WHERE DO I GO?!

Dipper: (Looks around. Takes out Journals and flips through pages) Um... uh... GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!

Mabel: MIGHT BE?!

The audience screamed the same thing.

They all scream and cover their eyes as the boat goes through the waterfall and into the cave behind. Their boat crashes, sending them into the dirt. They all stand up, and turn around to see the Gobblewonker swim in after them and get stuck in the cave entrance.

“It’s stuck!” Anne cheered.

“Get those photos and prove everyone wrong!” Candace added with her own enthusiasm.

Phineas and Ferb didn’t know how to feel. This monster didn’t appear to be anywhere near as friendly as Nosey. So couldn’t exactly support protecting it from the world.

Mabel finds the last camera in Dipper's hat and he starts taking pictures.

“Yes!” everyone cheered.

“Not bad, kids,” Eda praised.

Just then, the Gobblewonker, still roaring, gets hit by a stalagmite. It's head falls down with an electric noise coming out of it.

That caused the other groups to blink.

“Did it just…?” Holly began.

Dipper inspects the beast and realizes it’s metal.

“It’s a robot!” Polly and Baljeet realized.

The gang discovers a handle and turns it, causing steam to come out. They open the trapdoor causing more steam to come out. They discover old man McGucket inside controlling a machine.

The other groups’, plus Wendy and Stan’s, eyes widened in surprise.

“It was him the whole time?!” Stacy exclaimed.

“Huh, I did not see that coming,” Eda admitted.

Why am I surprised? Inventing stuff was how he got elected, Anne thought.

Dipper: Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?

McGucket: Well, I...I, uh...I just wanted attention.

Dipper: I still don't understand.

McGucket: Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brainwave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!

“With his beard? That’s actually pretty impressive,” Gretchen said.

Mabel: Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?

Old man McGucket: Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. (Flashback of McGucket outside his son's window with a baseball and gloves and his son, inside his office, closing his blinds. Real time, narrating) My own son hasn't visited me in months!

“Months?” Luz and Anne questioned. They’d been separated from their parents for months and they would have killed to be reunited with them at the time. And this guy was doing it voluntarily!

“I know he’s crazy and all, but come on man. You don’t do that to your father,” Jeremy chided.

(Flashback moves to McGucket building the Gobblewonker. Real time, narrating) So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut! (Laughs like a maniac and the flashback ends. Sighs) In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family.

Candace looked down and sighed.

“I’m sorry, you guys. I should have spent more time with you,” Candace apologized to her brothers.

“It’s okay, sis. You can do that now,” Phineas responded kindly.

Dipper & Mabel pull out their fishing hats Grunkle Stan gave them and looks at them with a sigh.

Soos: Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you two. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there.

“Oof!” Sprig coughed. “Did anyone else feel that?”

Mabel: So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?

Old man McGucket: No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut! (A projector shows blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor) I made lots of robuts in my day! (Pushes button and projectors shows a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on the town and the word "chaos") Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, (Pushed button again and projectors shows a picture of a man) or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party (Pushed button agains and projector shows another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word "disaster") and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA! (Laughs like a maniac)

The audience gawked at the screen.

“He needs help,” Stacy said.

“I can’t believe our President did all this,” Luz whispered to Anne.

“Me neither,” she whispered back. “I still like him though. You said you were from November, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Does he get re-elected?”

“Pft, duh! It was the biggest landslide in history. Smoothest election the country’s ever seen.”

“Can you imagine having to deal with a messy, exhausting, divisive election?”

“Nope! And I have McGucket to thank for that.”

McGucket: Well, time to get back to work on my death ray! (Ducks into the Gobblewonker and construction noises can be heard from inside. Raises hand in a grabbing motion) Any of you kids got a screwdriver?

“Death ray?” Candace repeated.

Perry decided he was going to talk with Monogram about adding this guy to OWCA’s watchlist.

The twins wonder what to do with their last roll of film.

“You’re gonna take pictures of you guys fishing with your Grunkle, aren’t you?” Sprig stated more than asked.

Cut back to Stan driving back towards the shore. Looking sad and defeated as he let out a sigh of misery. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos rejoin Stan, much to his confusion.

Dipper: Well, we spent all day trying to find a "legendary" dinosaur.

Mabel: But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here.

“Awe~,” Luz cooed.

“Well, I’ll take this dinosaur over a real one any day,” Candace said with a shiver.

Stan: Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection-I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun.

“Busted,” Candace grinned.

“What’s that?” Eda asked.

“It’s a device the police use to monitor your location and sometimes actions,” Dipper explained.

The Owl Lady thought it was a good thing the Emperor’s Coven never had a thing like that.

Dipper: So... I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?

Stan glares at them, only for Dipper and Mabel to put on their new fishing hats on to show their Grunkle that they mean it.

Stan: (Expression softens) You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?

The audience smiled knowing everything was alright now.

Photo montage: The picture of Stan and Mabel smiling and Soos' belly. A picture of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeks and tries to thread a hook. Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos laugh. Dipper holding his first fish. Stan posing with his hand in his vest. Stan and Mabel stealing fish from Smabel and her grandfather. Dipper, Mabel, and Stan driving away from the lake police.

There were smiles and a few laughs.

Back to the present, the gang is calmly riding on the waves of the lake when the boat suddenly shakes. Mabel only shrugs in response, but underwater. A disposable camera sinks into the lake, as the real Gobblewonker swims by and eats it.

The audience gasped.

“It was real?! Are you kidding me?!” Dipper exclaimed.

Mabbel patted her brother’s back.

“Don’t worry, Dipper. We’ll solve this mystery when we go back next summer.”

“Why’d it eat that camera though?” King wondered.

The Flynn-Fletchers shared a look.

End credits with Mabel playing ventriloquist with the pelican.

There were a few chuckles from the audience and groans from Dipper.

QHAW ZHHN: UHWXUQ WR EXWW LVODQG.

Dipper quickly wrote down the code.

“So…McGucket…anything you can say about him?” Luz asked.

“Sorry. Spoilers,” Mabel answered.

“Darn.”

“Excuse me, everyone. We will be starting the next episode soon, but one thing first. I’ve realized that none of you have had breakfast yet. So here,” their host said and there was the sound of snapping fingers. Suddenly a full buffet of breakfast food appeared. “Dig in. You can even bring food to your seats.”

The audience immediately walked up to the buffet and grabbed their meals before returning to their seats.

“Very well, then. Let’s carry on.”

Chapter 4: What A Weird Town: Part 2

Chapter Text

Headhunters

Dipper and Mabel are watching an episode of Ducktective.

“I remember that show. It was a lot of fun,” Luz smiled.

“Meh, the ending could have been better,” Anne argued.

“Agreed,” Mabel said.

Mabel: ( Drops her sweater and gasps ) That duck is a genius!

Dipper: Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground

Mabel: (Hands on her hips, squinting at Dipper doubtfully) Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?

Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating (Sniffs) ...an entire tube of toothpaste?!

The others looked at the girl strangely.

“Heh he, that was fun,” Mabel chuckled.

“You know that can be hazardous, right?” Polly questioned.

“Not bad, Dipper. You know, I can actually track Phineas and Ferb by smell,” Candace said.

“Really? What do they smell like?”

“Motor oil and confidence.”

Dipper smelled the air around the boys.

“Huh. Wow. I didn’t think confidence even had a smell until now.”

The Pines boy wrote that information down in his journal.

Soos shows them a room he found with several wax figures.

Dipper: (Shining a flashlight around) Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!

Mabel: (Poking Wax Sherlock Holmes) They're so life-like.

Dipper: (Shines flashlight and points to Stan) Except for that one.

Stan: Hello!

Dipper, Mabel & Soos Scream in surprise.

Stan: (Chuckles) It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!

Dipper, Mabel & Soos screamed even louder as they run away.

The kids yelped, causing Stan to laugh.

Cue the Theme Song.

Once Dipper, Mabel and Soos had finally calm down, they go back into the secret room as Stan tells them about the Mystery Shack Wax Figure Museum. Until he forgot about it.

Stan: I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, (Looks at a wax figure of Larry King) some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?

“Do you not know who Larry King is?” Luz questioned.

“I’ve been living in Gravity Falls for the past thirty years. We don’t often get channels other than local ones.”

Candace smiled at Sherlock Holmes. She’d read all the books.

Dipper: (Shudders) Is anyone else getting the creeps here?

“A little bit, yeah,” King shivered.

“I like the creepiness. Right, Anne? Anne?” Polly asked.

Anne was completely lost to her. The girl just stared at the wax figures in quiet terror.

This is way too similar to the Curator.

Ignoring Dipper's question, Stan continues listing names.

Stan: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over- (Looks at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which is under sunlight from the window above it) Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!"

The audience laughed. Dipper and Mabel blanched, realizing that was a legitimate possibility.

Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!

Stan: You really think you can make one of these puppies?

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?

She holds up her arm, which has a glue gun glued to it.

“Has that been there the whole time?” Sprig wondered.

Stan: I like your gumption, kid!

Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!

Jump cut to Dipper drinking his soda as walking towards Mabel.

Mabel: Dipper!

Mabel surprised Dipper too much that he started to choke on his soda.

Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea? (Shows Dipper a drawing that she sketched in her sketch-book) She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!

“Intriguing,” Luz praised.

Dipper: M..maybe you should carve something from real life.

Stan: Kids, have you seen my pants?

Poses on a briefcase.

“That’ll work,” Hop Pop said.

“Maybe give him some pants though,” Stacy added, covering her eyes.

Cut to a montage of Mabel busily working on Wax Stan.

“Montage!” Luz and Phineas cheered.

Stan: (Walks in with his pants on but not his shoes) I found my pants but now I'm missing my- (Notices Wax Stan) Ahhh! (Falls over)

Mabel: What do you think?

Stan: I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!

“Have to say, I’m a pretty good looking fellow,” Stan said. He looked at Eda and put on a ‘suave’ smile. “Don’t I?”

Eda chugged the rest of her mug of appleblood and handed it to Stan with a sigh.

“Taken.”

There were laughs from the audience.

“Didn’t she keep convincing you to take sucker bets?” Hop Pop questioned.

Stan just grumbled.

Cut to Soos leading people with corndogs, and eats one, to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum. Dipper is working in the stand with Wendy.

Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up.

Wendy: I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something.

Dipper: He bribed me. (Holds up dollar)

Wendy: (Holds up a dollar. They both laugh.)

“Are you sure you’re not evil?” Heinz asked.

Stan just sighed as the others laughed.

Stan: (Clears throat over the microphone) You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!

Cut to three women in the audience staring blankly ahead, flies swarming around them.

“Gee, I wonder why I rejected you,” Eda teased.

Stan: As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me! Uncovers Wax Stan

Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs.

Stan: And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!

“Yeah, great job Mabelangelo!” Luz cheered, causing Mabel to beam at the praise.

Mabel: It's Mabel. (Takes microphone) Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Throws up her arms) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!

The audience cringe at Mabel's choice of words.

This audience did the same.

“Okay, maybe I could have phrased that better,” Mabel admitted.

“Definitely,” her brother said.

Mabel: (Chuckles) Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to McGucket) You there!

McGucket: Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?

The Plantars and Pines twins blanched.

How did he see that coming…oh, he probably erased his memory and subconsciously remembered, Dipper thought.

Toby Determined: (Holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone) Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?

Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.

Toby Determined: It certainly is-

“That’s just sad,” Candace said.
Shandra Jimenez: Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. (Shows flyer) Is this true?
The audience members cry out in demands.

Stan: That was a typo. Good night, everyone!

He uses a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him.

“You promised free pizza and lied. Ohoho, that’s low,” Heinz laughed.

Everyone left the area in fit of anger, one man look sad that he didn't get any pizza while Manly Dan punches a pole close to having it snap in two.

Manly Dan: In your face!

“Your dad is really strong,” Sprig said.

“And has so many anger issues. I love it!” Polly added.

Dipper and Wendy both have shock expressions on their faces, as Mabel walks over and leans her elbow on the ticket table.

Mabel: I think that went well.

“Something’s gonna happen. Something always happens,” Luz thought aloud.

Cut to the Mystery Shack, where Stan is counting the money he got.

Stan: Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy! (Points to Wax Stan)

The audience gave Stan sour looks.

Mabel playfully punches him.

Stan: Ooh! (Noogying her) Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go! (Sighs) Kids.

“Awe, look at how proud you are,” Wendy teased.

“Are you gonna do that everytime I show any sentiment?”

“Probably,” Wendy shrugged. “At least as long as I find it funny.”

Cut to TV.

Constable: Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case.

The Duck Detective: (Quacking; subtitles read:) Don't patronize me.

There were some chuckles.

Cut back to Stan with his wax self.

Stan: (Laughs) Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything? (Laughs) I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.

The others gave Stan confused looks while the twins looked on sadly. Looking back, it was obvious how when Stan saw the figure, he saw Ford.

Cut to Dipper and Mabel brushing their teeth.
Mabel: Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?
Dipper: Okay.
But just as Dipper said that…
Stan: (Offscreen; screaming:) No... No... Noooooo!
They look at each other for a moment, before running downstairs to see Stan in the living room.
Stan: Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered! (Wax Stan is headless. Clock bongs three times)
Mabel faints as Dipper catches her.

“This is not what I expected to happen,” Eda said.

“Ooh! A murder mystery!” Candace smiled.

“Is that your favorite genre?” Luz asked.

“Yep! Candace and I read all the Sherlock Holmes books in one night,” Stacy said.

“He’s the greatest detective of all time,” Candace praised.

Dipper and Mabel shared a smirk.

Oh, the irony.

Cut to Stan explaining the situation to the police officers.

Stan: I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!

Mabel: My expert handcrafting... besmirched. (Crying) Besmiiiirrrched!

“Oh, Mabel,” Luz comforted, patting the girl on the back. Phineas and Ferb joined in. They could relate to an extent.

Dipper: Who would do something like this?

Deputy Durland: What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?

Sheriff Blubs: Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable.

“What?!” everyone exclaimed.

“Are you kidding me?!” Eda yelled.

“Someone broke into your house, and they’re not gonna do anything?!” Hopediah added.

“Gravity Falls has a terrible police department. It’s literally just those two,” Stan answered.

“But this guy could be dangerous! They need to be busted!” Candace argued.

Dipper offers to help. The two just mock him, calling him a city boy and adorable.

“And they’re rude, too,” Anne said with a glare.

“He is a little adorable tough,” Polly said.

“Polly!”

“What? It’s true.”

Blubs: Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?
Blubs' walkie-talky went off.
Man: (Over Blub's walkie talkie:) Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!
Durland: It's a 23-16!
Blubs: Let's move!
And the two officers ran out of the shack laughing along the way.

The audience looked at the pair flatly.

Dipper: That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable. (Sneezes)

Mabel: Aww, you sneeze like a kitten! (Dipper glares at her)

“Do not say anything,” Dipper warned the others, who were snickering.

Cut to the next morning. Dipper and Mabel are studying the crime scene.

Dipper: Wax Stan has lost his head and its up to us to find it.

Mabel takes a picture.

Dipper: There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. (Looks at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects) The murderer could have been anyone.

Perry nodded at the board in approval.

“What do you think?” Candace asked Stacy.

“Probably Manly Dan. He seemed really angry.”

“He’s very loud though. It had to be someone quieter.”

Mabel finds shoeprints in the carpet.

Dipper: Footprints in the shag carpet!

Mabel: That's weird. They've got a hole in them.

Perry pocketed that information for later.

Dipper: And they're leading to...

There was an ax on the floor behind the sofa chair. Dipper and Mabel Gasp, then look at each other in surprise.

“Okay, this is really serious now. Someone who was clearly angry broke into your home with an ax. You have to take them down,” Eda said with a little fear.

Cut to the twins in the gift shop. They realize it was Manly Dan. Soos tells them that he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown.

Mabel: Then that's where we're going.

“I have some reservation about sending two kids on a mission like this,” Hop Pop said.

“We were fine,” Mabel said cheerfully.

Soos: Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!

Dipper: Don't call us that.

“I don’t know, I like the sound of that,” Phineas said.

“It does have a nice ring to it,” Ferb agreed.

“Yeah! Go Mystery Twins!” Luz cheered.

“Cool that you guys are gonna investigate this. Anne and I actually have experience with this,” Sprig mentioned.

“Really? How’d that go?” Dipper asked.

“Uh…” Anne trailed off.

“It didn’t end well. And we’ll leave it at that,” Sprig answered quickly.

Dipper and Mabel walk out of the shack and pass Grunkle Stan who was pulling a coffin out of his car.
Stan: Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy.

“It really meant that much to you?” Anne questioned.

The twins frowned in sympathy.

Dipper: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!

Mabel: Break in the case!

Dipper: We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer.

Mabel: We have an axe! (Shows Stan the ax in Dipper's bag; Making a horror movie screeching sound:) REE, REE, REE!

“You know, that would be funny if it weren’t so disconcerting,” Doof said.

“It’s funny regardless,” Polly cackled.

Stan: Hm, seems like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do... Good thing I'm an uncle. (He puts one foot on the coffin with his fist up in the air and his eyes are cross angled off from each other, while Dipper and Mabel both shared a look.) Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!

There were a few laughs but also a few glares in Stan’s direction.

“You deliberately sent your kids after the person who broke into your house with an ax? Have you lost your mind?!” Hop Pop screamed.

“Oh, come on. They can handle themselves. Plus, Dipper has that book with him. They’ll be fine,” Stan defended.

“Not that I disagree with you, you still should have at least sent Soos or Wendy with them. Probably Wendy,” Eda said.

“Thanks,” Wendy smirked.

“Anytime,” Eda winked and shot a finger gun.

“What do you think?” Pines asked Heinz.

“As someone who was evil for a long time, and still enjoys it to an extent, I like the whole vengeance thing. But that doesn’t mean you should have let your kids go after someone dangerous alone. For me, being a good caretaker always comes first. When my daughter goes somewhere dangerous, I make sure that she’s not alone. Isn’t that right, Perry the Platypus?” Doof said.

The monotreme nodded.

Cut to the town, Dipper and Mabel are sneaking behind a dumpster near the Skull Fracture.

Dipper: This is the place. (Gasp when Tats looks at him) Got the fake IDs?

Mabel gives him one of the IDs she made.

Dipper: (Looking at ID) Here goes nothing.

“That’s not gonna work,” Stacy said, shaking her head.

“Wanna bet?” Wendy asked.

“Sure. We’ll name our prices afterwards,” she shrugged.

Stan and Eda shook their heads.

“Rookie mistake,” he sighed.

Tats: (Looks at an ID card) Sorry, but we don't serve miners.

“See? Told ya,” Stacy smirked. “Alright, I want…”

The Miner: Daaaannnnng'nab it! (Spits on the road and walks off) Eughh!

“Huh?”

Mabel: (She and Dipper walk up) We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan. (She and Dipper show their fake ID cards; Mabel jingles hers) Dedledle-e.
Tats: Works for me. (Opens door for the twins)

Silence filled the theater for about a minute. Stacy just kept blinking at the screen. Wendy looked at her smugly.

“You were saying?”

“But…How did…I can’t…”

“I’ll explain,” the young lumberjack began. “I sometimes have to bring my dad home, and I know for a fact that that guy doesn’t care how old you are. He’ll let you in regardless. And if I help myself to a drink, that’s nobody’s business but my own,” she shrugged.

Eda grinned. She liked this girl.

The men are fighting inside the Skull Fracture. Dipper and Mabel walk inside and look around.

Mabel: (Walks over a body) He's resting.

The older members of the audience blanched.

“Relax, he’s not dead,” Wendy said simply.

“Oh, thank frog,” Hopediah sighed.

Dipper: Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?
Mabel: You got it, Dippingsauce. (Climbs onto a chair and talks to a man) Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! (Pats his arm) Bap!
The Biker lets out a growl.

Stan growled.

“I swear, if he tries anything…”

Manly Dan aggressively plays an arm wrestling game.

Dipper: Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?

Manly Dan: Punchin' the clock.

Dipper: You were at work?

Manly Dan: No, I was punchin' that clock! (Points to a broken clock outside)

“Your dad has issues,” Sprig blatantly said.

“Yep,” Wendy replied, popping the ‘p.’

Dipper: So, I guess you've never seen this before? (Pulls out the axe)

Manly Dan: I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND! (Rips the machine's arm off and beats the machine with it)
Tyler Cutebiker: Get 'im! Get 'im! (Giggles)

“Well, that’s disturbing,” Heinz noted.

“Big break in the case though,” King said.

“So that means the killer is a left-handed member of the audience,” Polly observed.

“Hey, wasn’t Toby Determined holding the turkey baster with his left hand?” Jeremy questioned.

“Oh my gosh, he was!” Anne answered.

“Hmmm…I don’t know. He’s kind of a…” Stacy trailed off.

“Wuss?” King offered.

“Pathetic?” Polly added.

“Wimp?” Dipper finished.

“…Yeah.”

Cut back to Mabel and the Biker.

Mabel & Biker: (Looking at cootie catcher Mabel is counting off with) 3, 4, 5, 6.

Mabel: (Gasps) Your wife is gonna be beautiful.

Biker: (Pumps arm) Yes!

“Good for him!” Luz beamed.

Stan rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Only you, sweetie,” he said, ruffling Mabel’s hair fondly.

Dipper: Mabel, big break in the case!

The two leave the bar, as the Biker calls out to Mable.

Biker: But will she love me?!

“Oh!” Mabel exclaimed, slapping her forehead. “I knew I forgot something. Yes! She will love him!”

The audience smiled.

“What kind of oracle magic is that?” Eda asked her surrogate daughter.

“Hard to explain,” Luz waved off.

Dipper: It's a left handed ax. (Shows her a list) These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer.

“Sounds simple enough,” King said.

“Just be careful,” Doof warned.

“And try to be polite. You don’t wanna go overboard,” Anne added.

Montage: cut to Mabel waving at McGucket. He has a baby alligator on his right hand as he waves back to her.

“Nope,” Luz said.

Dipper wears a fake mustache and carries a package to Pizza Guy's house. Pizza Man signs Dipper's form with his right hand, gets excited, only for Dipper to take the package and leave.

“Low blow, dude,” Jeremy shook his head.

Mabel whistles to the Angry Lady and throws her a baseball. She catches it with her right hand and crushes it.

There were some gulps.

“I’d think it was her if she wasn’t right handed,” Susan said.

The twins arrive at Mikey R.'s house. He comes to the door with both hands in casts.

A beat of silence.

“Definitely innocent,” they all kept saying over each other.

Name after name is listed as right handed until the tip of the pencil breaks.

Dipper: (Gasps) Mabel, there's only one person left on this list.

Mabel: (Gasps) Of course, it all adds up!

“Tobey Determined,” Eda realized.

“Huh, I guess it was him,” Polly relented.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Stacy narrowed her eyes at the screen.

Perry nodded with her in agreement.

The cops and kids go to Gravity Falls Gossiper.

Blubs: You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it.

Dipper: The evidence is irrefutable.

Mabel: It's so irrefutable.

Durland: I gonna get to use my match stick!

Blubs: You ready? You ready little fella?

Blubs & Durland: Woo, woo! (Both poke each other with their police batons)

The people from outside of Gravity Falls just stared at the pair.

“These guys are…” Polly began.

“Yeah,” Stan sighed. “They’re fools. It’s an embarrassment. Committing crimes is so easy in that town that it’s losing its fun.”

The group breaks down the door and raids the place.

Dipper: Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan.

Mabel: You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work. (High fives Dipper)

“Good word play,” King praised.

“Thanks.”

Toby Determined: Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!

Dipper: Then allow me to explain. (Flashback to the event; voiceover:) You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. (In the flashback, Toby chops Wax Stan's head off)

Mabel holds a newspaper with a picture of Wax Stan's head.

Dipper: (Flashback shows Toby's shoe with a hole in it and his turkey baster held in his left hand; voiceover:) But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed.

“Nice job, Dipper,” Anne praised.

“Yeah, you busted this guy,” Candace said with a thumbs up.

Mabel: (Crumples up newspaper) Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news.

“Oho! That was perfect!” King offered Mabel a high-five. The Pines girl took it.

“Say, aren’t his feet a little small to have made those footprints?” Luz noticed.

The audience looked at the screen again.

“You’re right,” Baljeet realized.

“But then that means…” Sprig trailed off.

Toby Determined: Boy, your little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions. (Dances) Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder.

The twins are confused.

Blubs: Then where were you at the night of the break-in?

“Everyone brace yourselves,” Dipper warned.

“Huh? Why?” Eda questioned.

“This is really disgusting.”

“Dipper, come on man. I’m sure I’ve seen worse than…” Isabella began.

Toby Determined: Ehh... (Inserts a tape into a TV. It starts playing, and we see him taking a cardboard cutout of Shandra Jimenez out of his closet) Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez! (Kisses it)

The audience recoiled and cringed at the sight.

“Oh~” Isabella moaned out in disgust.

“Why?! Just why?!” Wendy screamed, covering her eyes.

“I feel so bad for her,” Luz shook her head.

The Cops, Dipper & Mabel cringe in disgust.

Cops & Kids: Eeeewwww! Yuck!

Blubs: Timestamp confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature.

“Freak of nature is right,” Heinz complained.

Dipper: But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!

Blubs: (Checks for finger print on the ax) No prints at all.

“What?” everyone questioned.

“But then who was it? You kids said you solved the mystery, so what happened?” Stan asked his niece and nephew.

“Were they wearing gloves?” Stacy wondered.

“Uh…you’ll have to keep watching,” Dipper answered.

Durland: Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time.

All of the adults laugh at Dipper and Mabel who look at each other with embarrassment.

Candace sighed and laid comforting hands on the twins’ shoulders.

“Hey, I know what it’s like for people to think that of you. I probably understand more than anyone. But if you ask me, it’s their loss. You too are twelve years old and you’re already the best investigators I’ve ever seen.” She turned to her brothers. “No offense.”

“None taken. Right, Ferb?”

Ferb shook his head.

“And you know what? I’d love to join you two sometime.”

“Really?” Mabel asked.

“Yeah, why not?”

The twins beamed.

“Thanks,” Dipper said.

“Don’t mention it.”

Toby Determined: (As the video of him kissing the cutout of Shandra Jimenez continues to play) Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two.

“Look who’s talking,” Eda scowled. This was just like Warden Wrath.

Cut to Stan in the wax figure room. He is standing on a stage with a bunch of chairs set up. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and the wax figures are the audience.

“You actually went ahead with it,” Luz blinked.

“Boy, does he have an ego,” Anne mumbled.

Stan cries during his eulogy and runs out the room. Soos runs after him.

Dipper and Mabel hugged Stan. It was heartbreaking how much he missed Ford.

Dipper: (Sighs) Those cops are right about me.

Mabel: Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now.

Dipper: (Stands up and walk to the coffin) But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues (Looks inside coffin; sighs) Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it…

The audience perked up.

“Say what?” Hopediah said.

Perry and Stacy narrowed their eyes.

Mabel: All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy.

Stacy gasped loudly and Perry gapped.

“Get out of there, now!” she screamed.

“Too late,” Dipper and Mabel said together.

Candace’s busting sense was blaring like an alarm inside her head.

“Wait…” King began

“You don’t mean…” Anne trailed off.
Dipper: Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are-
Wax Holmes: Standing right behind you.

“Nooooooooooo way,” The audience, for lack of better words, said.

Stan was frozen in his seat.

Dipper and Mabel turn in time to see all of the wax figures come to life.

Dipper: (Gasp) Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?

Wax Coolio: Wha s'up Holmes?

“Shakespeare?” Luz asked eagerly.

“Coolio?” someone in the audience questioned.

The wax figure of Lizzie Borden took the ax from Mabel.

Mabel: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

Wax Holmes: Congratulations, my two amuetur slueths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.

Dipper and Mabel lean back in fright.

“Hot belgian waffles!” Stan screamed.

“Say what?! Hop Pop exclaimed.

Wax Holmes: Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret. (Takes wax Stan's head out of his cape) Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically.

All of the Wax figures clapped, except-

Wax Holmes: Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap.

They try again much slower this time around.

Wax Holmes: There we go, nice and condescending.

Candace and Stacy blinked.

“He’s a lot more of a jerk than I thought he’d be,” the redhead said.

Dipper: But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!

Mabel: Are you... magic?

Wax Holmes: (Laughs) Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! (Stops laughing) We're CURSED!

Eda leaned forward in her seat. Could a Witch have done this?

Wax Holmes: Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale.

Wax Coolio: A haunted garage sale, son!

Flashback to the haunted garage sale.

The Seller: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.

Stan: (Looks at price tag) Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'.

The Seller: What?

Stan: I said I was gonna rob you.

A few of the kids laughed at this.

“Did you just flat out admit that you were going to rob him to his face ?!” Eda asked incredulously.

Stan shrugged.

“And you never thought it was suspicious that he didn’t try to stop you?” Polly questioned.

“Uh…” Stan couldn’t form a response.

Flashback showing the wax museum during the day.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.

Wax Coolio: (Voiceover:) But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night.

Flashback shows the statues messing around the Mystery Shack at night.

“I feel violated,” Stan said.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) It was a charmed life for us cursed beings...

Flashback to Stan shaking the empty admission box and putting the wax figures in storage.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) That is, until your uncle closed up shop.

The storage room is seen wearing out as time goes by, leaving the door blocked by wallpaper. Soos later comes by sweeping the floor and finds the knob to the storage room. He puts the knob back in its place. Dissolve to the Mystery Shack.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...

Flashback to Wax Sherlock Holmes swipes Wax Stan's head off with an ax.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) But we got the wrong guy.

“HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES!” Stan screamed. “They were going to kill me!”

“You really had no idea that they were alive?” Anne asked with narrowed eyes.

“Are you kidding? No!”

Anne sighed.

Well, at least he’s not like the Curator in that sense. He’s still pretty sus though.

Dipper: So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!

Mabel: You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!

Wax Holmes: Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die.

“They’re children!” Hop Pop shouted at the screen.

The kids shivered and clung to their older siblings.

The wax figures growl and their eyes roll back in their heads as they approach the kids.

Dipper and Mabel backed away from the cursed wax figures in fright.

Mabel: What do we do, what do we do?

Dipper: I don't know!

With not many options, Dipper and Mabel started to throw everything from the table behind them at the figures, which seem to do no damage at all, not until Dipper grabs the coffee maker and tosses the coffee at Wax Genghis Khan who screams in agony as he slowly starts to melt.

Mabel: That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!

“Brilliant!” Luz cheered.

“Hey, do you think my hairdryer would work on them?” Candace asked her brothers. They shrugged in response.

With the knowledge of how to fight back, Dipper and Mabel grab the two electric candle sticks and use them as weapons. The figures begin closing in on the twins. Wax Lizzie Borden swings her ax at Mabel…

They sucked in a breath.

…but accidentally decapitates Wax Robin Hood.

They sighed in relief.

Mabel walks around her, but Wax Shakespeare sneaks up behind her. Mabel cuts off his hands with the candles, and he runs away. Wax Shakespeare's hands still move, and begin strangling Mabel.

The hands received a lot of glares.

Mabel walks over to a door, and repeat-ably smashes it on its fingers.

Dipper was doing well holding his ground at the wax figures and making puns at them.

Dipper: Interview this, Larry King! (Decapitates Wax Larry King with candle)

Wax Larry King: My neck! My beautiful neck!

“Take that!” Polly cheered.

Wax Groucho Marx: (Touches candle as if he tried to take it out from Dipper's hands, only to have his hand melting) Eh!

Dipper: Jokes on you, Groucho! (Cuts Groucho in half using candle)

Wax Groucho Marx: (As the top half of his body slides off of the lower half) I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous!

Some of the audience couldn’t help but snicker.

Wax Genghis Khan charges at Dipper, but the boy dodges out of the way as he runs right into the fireplace like a bull.

Dipper: Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the... uh... I don't know, uh, Jin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright. (Gets up and runs back into the fight)

Ferb gave him a so-so gesture.

Mabel swings around Wax Coolio's head while getting overwhelmed by wax figures.

Wax Coolio: Ow ow ow ow! What's up with that?

The audience laughed.

Mabel: Dipper! Watch out!

Dipper cuts Wax Richard Nixon's leg, causing Nixon to be pushed into the next room and sees Wax Sherlock Holmes approach him. Holmes takes a sword while Mabel throws Dipper a poker from the fireplace which is heated to a burning point.

“Hmm, little guy versus a tall one. Well, in my experience, I think I know where this is going,” Doofenshmirtz said.

Perry smirked while King and Polly cheered that “Little guys rule!”

Wax Holmes brings the sword on Dipper, but is blocked with the poker. Wax Sherlock keeps attacking, while Dipper blocks and is pushed back. Dipper is pushed back into the Attic Floor, and is cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall.

Wax Holmes: Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!

Dipper: (Looks at the window, and, just when Sherlock brings the sword down, rolls through his legs and out the window) Don't count on it!

Wax Holmes: Come back here, you brat!

Dipper climbs onto the Mystery Shack sign and Wax Holmes follows him. Dipper slowly walks across it, while Wax Holmes swings the sword at him. They clash between poker and sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tries to hit Dipper with its sword, but Dipper jumps back, and the "S" in "Shack" falls off.

Wax Holmes: You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!

“He is the greatest detective of all time,” Stacy conceded. “But we know who’s gonna win.”

“I think Inspector Poirot is the best,” Hop Pop said.

“You’ve read Agatha Christie's murder mysteries?” Dipper asked, intrigued.

“A…friend of mine introduced me to them. They’re phenomenal. Especially the movie made by that Kenneth Branagh.”

“Kenneth Branagh makes a Poirot film?! When?!”

“Uh…I think it was 2017,” Anne answered.

Dipper screamed in joy.

Dipper: (Drops the poker and begins to climb off the sign, and behind it. He hides behind the chimney and looks out to see is Wax Sherlock is there)
Wax Holmes: (Kicks him down. Raises sword) Any last words?
Dipper: Um... you got any sunscreen?
Wax Holmes: Got any-? What? (Turns and sees the sun starting to rise and he gasps) No.

Hlmes begins to melt.

“Yes!” Gretchen cheered.

“Way to go, Dipper!” Luz praised. It reminded her of when she branded a sigil on Belos. That was extremely satisfying.

Dipper: You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision.

Wax Holmes: (Continues to melt) Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! (Starts melting faster) Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo. (Everything but his face melts)

“Dude, that was amazing!” Soos said.

“That was incredible, man!” Wendy praised.

“I can’t believe you outsmarted the Sherlock Holmes!” Anne exclaimed.

“Meh, forget him,” Candace waved off. “And Poirot. This guy’s the real deal.” The redhead then proceeded to ‘knight’ him with her hand. “I dub thee, the Greatest Detective of All Time.”

Dipper blushed at the praise.

“I’m not that good.”

“ Yet. I have a feeling you’ll get there.” She then elbowed him lightly. “Friend.”

Dipper smiled.

“Thanks, Candace.”

Mabel and Wendy smiled. It was nice to see Dipper making new friends.

Cut to Mabel throwing the remaining parts of the wax figures into the fireplace. Wax Shakespeare's head is the only noticeable wax figure left.

Wax Shakespeare: Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!

Mabel: Y'know any limericks?

Luz gasped.

“Dios mío, do you realize what this means? That’s the William Shakespeare! The most iconic play writer of all time. And he wrote dozens of plays that were lost. He could rewrite them again or write new ones. Think of all the incredible stories there could be!” Luz squealed.

“And all the money I could make!” Stan grinned, rubbing his hands together.

“Um…” Mabel began.

Wax Shakespeare: Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky...

Mabel: Nope! (Throws his head into the fire)

“…Sorry,” she winced.

“…Nooooooooooooo! Why~!” Luz wailed.

“The money!” Stan cried.

Dipper walks back into the room.

Mabel: Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all.

Dipper: (Pulls up a chair and takes Wax Stan's head off the wall) I couldn't have done it without my sidekick.

Mabel: No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick.

Dipper: What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?

“Past me is worried for nothing. It’s obvious that Mabel’s the sidekick,” Dipper boasted.

“What? No, you’re the sidekick,” Mabel snarked, shoving him.

Eda’s eyes lit up and she grinned mischievously.

“Well, I can’t say which one it is, but I know that one of you is the sidekick.”

“Huh?” the twins went.

“Well, it’s obvious that one of you is the dominant sibling, but only the two of you can determine which.”

“Definitely me. I have the best grades,” Dipper bragged.

“Oh please. I’m the better artist!”

“You have a crazy love-life.”

“At least I have a love life. And bathe every now and then,” Mabel said smugly.

Eda grabbed some popcorn to munch on as she watched her work unfold.

“Oh yeah? Well…Well…I have straight teeth!” Dipper countered before immediately turning pale.

What have I done?

Mabel’s eyes narrowed as they blazed with hot furry. She let out a scream and tackled her brother to the ground.

“Children fighting! I can sell this! Does anyone have a camera?” Stan asked.

“Right here, big guy,” Heinz grinned, pulling a camera out of his lab coat.

Pines took it and started filming.

“Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight!” the two cheered.

“A scuffle, eh? Alright,” King said, entertained.

“Yeah!” Polly added with enthusiasm.

“Ow! Take off those knuckles!” Dipper complained.

“Then let go of my hair!” Mabel screamed.

“Should we intervene?” Luz asked.

“Nope. Let it run its course,” Eda answered, eating some popcorn.

The young Noceda gasped in realization.

“You got them to fight on purpose!” she accused. “Why?!”

“To watch my favorite public display of affection: Sibling Bickering!”

The fight lasted a few more minutes until Mabel tickled her brother and they called it quits, doing their special hug.

Stan: (Walks in) Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?

Mabel: Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!

Dipper: I decapitated Larry King.

Stan: Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!

Stan shook his head.

“To think I thought you were just foolin’ around.” He then surprised his niece and nephew by pulling them into a hug. “You saved my life, kids! Those freaks were gonna kill me, but you saved me!”

“Grunkle Stan, are you crying?” Dipper questioned.

“I have dust in my eye!”

“Awe, come here, you!” Mabel hugged him back.

Dipper: On the bright side, though, look what we found. (Hands Stan Wax Stan's head)

Stan: My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing.

Stan laughs as he gives each of his grand niece and nephew noogies making them laugh at Stan's family affection.

The audience smiled at the interaction.

Suddenly, Stan perked up.

“Hey wait a second. If they were alive, then that means…” The elder Pine then gasped loudly. “Wax Lincoln was murdered by Wax Booth!” he angrily shouted.

Blubs and Durland drive up to the window.

Blubs: Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee. (Takes a long, slow sip)

“Who else thinks we’re about to see a spit take?” Sprig asked.

Everyone raised their hands.

Dipper: Actually, the answer is yes.

Blubs: Blu blu blu- (Spits coffee in Durland's face)

Durland: (Screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face)

Blubs: (Screams; spits coffee in Durland's face)

Durland: (Screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face)

They drive away, screaming.

The audience was laughing hysterically.

“That has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!” Candace laughed.

Even Perry couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

The three Pines family members laugh at the cops driving away.

Stan: (Points to offscreen) They got scalded!

A crash is heard.

“They were fine,” Mabel said.

Dipper: So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?

Mabel: I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!

Dipper: Good enough for me!

The camera moves over to a vent and we see Wax Larry King's head.

“He survived! Burn him!” King screamed.
A rat pulls off his ear and scurry down the air vents.
Wax Larry King: Hey, get back here! (Hops after him) I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!

“I don’t think he’s gonna be too dangerous,” Holly deadpanned.

Cut to credits

Mabel: Hmm. Hey Dipper, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?

Wax Larry King: (Hops to the vent next to her) The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors. (Hops off)

Mabel: Thanks Dipper!

Dipper: (Stops reading and looks around confusingly)

KH'V VWLOO LQ WKH YHQWV.

Dipper copied the code.

“Well, that was something else,” Jeremy said.

“I’ll say,” Stan agreed.

“Hey, wait a minute. That was the last episode for Gravity Falls today,” Anne realized. “So that means we can move on to our thing, right?” she asked, gesturing to the Plantars and herself.

“Uh, that was the original plan. But I’ve decided to add one more. You see, today is about establishing the tone of your adventures. So I realized that I needed to add this episode,” the disembodied voice of their host explained.

“Oh. Well, okay. Which adventure is this?” Wendy asked.

“The Hand That Rocks the Mabel.”

Mabel whimpered, realized what this was.

“Please, no,” she begged of them. “Can we just do it tomorrow?”

The host sighed, and suddenly there was a swirl of darkness, and the shadowy form of the host stood before them. They knelt in front of Mabel and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I know this will be uncomfortable for you. But this needs to be done. There is another reason as well. I was supposed to speak with a friend earlier whose help is beyond essential for all of us. But he has informed me that we cannot speak until after this episode at the earliest.”

Mabel was silent. Then she asked the question that everyone had been wanting to know the answer to.

“Why are we here? What’s so important that we have to relive things we hate? What has you so afraid?”

The host hesitated.

“I want to tell you, all of you. I really do. But it must wait until every one of your adventures has been seen. Only then can you possibly understand what is happening.” No one else could tell, but they turned to look at King. “Can you trust me?”

“I…I think we can,” the young Titan answered.

Their host smiled.

“Then let’s watch the next episode.”

The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

Stan Pines standing out in the front yard with some tourist.
Stan: For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible "Sack of Mystery." When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!

“Ha! That’s never gonna work,” Eda laughed.

“Can you imagine if it did though. I’d be rich!” Heinz wished.

Stan just grinned.

The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. Stan smiles at his gain and their loss.

Almost everyone had baffled looks. Eda's jaw was wide open. Doof practically had dollar signs in his eyes.

“What?! But that would never work back home!” Eda yelled.

“Tourists are gullible. If they can afford to be on vacation, then they have money to lose,” Stan explained.

“I’m gonna be rich!” Heinz cheered, both fists in the air.

The commercial for Gideon’s Tent of Telepathy airs. It also calls Stan a fraud.

“Is he a business rival of yours?” Hopediah asked.

“Yep. And a little creep too,” Pines answered.

“Little?” Anne questioned.

“Just watch and find out.”

“Hold on a second,” Hop Pop said. “That voice sounds like someone we know.”

“Hey, you’re right,” Sprig realized.

Mayor Toadstool?

Mabel: Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!

Stan: (Walks in) Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble.

Cut to Grunkle Stan driving in a parking lot. He spots an open parking spot and attempts to back in, but Gideon's tour bus pulls in first.

Stan: (Makes a fist) Gideon!

“I’ll admit, that is extremely annoying,” Candace said.

Cut back to present.

Mabel: Well, is he really psychic?
Dipper: I think we should go and find out.

Eda and Luz nodded. Perhaps Gideon was a Witch.
Stan: Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!
Dipper: Do tents have roofs?
Mabel: I think we just found our loop hole... literally! (Holds up a string with a loop in it) Mwop mwop!

The audience chuckled.

Stan shook his head before ruffling the twins’ hair.

“As much as I don’t like you doing this, I’m also proud of you for it.”

Cue theme song

Cut to a crowd entering the Tent of Telepathy. Bud Gleeful stands at the entrance with a sack.

Bud: Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack.

Crowd mutters several positive things about the sack's credibility.

“Wha- that’s even less believable!” Eda complained.

Dipper: Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos.
Dipper points to a maintenance worker who looks very similar to Soos, named . Soos glares at the lookalike while munching on an empanada.

“The menace has been copying me for years,” Stan snarled.

Mabel: It's starting! It's starting!

Dipper: Let's see what this monster looks like.

The lights dimmed as the stage light shines through the curtains reviling a big tall shadowy figure, but once the pulled away to revile a small boy who looks 2-3 years younger than Dipper and Mabel. With big white hair.

Everyone from the other groups just blinked before turning to Stan incredulously.

“Your rival is a child?” Anne questioned.

Stan grumbled incoherently.

Eda just laughed.

Heinz slapped him on the back.

“Welcome to my life. My biggest rival has always been a small platypus.” Then he put a finger to his chin in thought. “You know, I think we’re a lot alike.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. And we’ll see for sure by the end of this episode.”

Gideon: Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon.

Gideon claps and doves fly out of his hair. The crowd cheers.

Gideon: Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! ...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, "aww."

Gideon makes a cute pose and the crowd says "aww."

“Boo~,” the Dipper and Mabel went, while the others just sent flat looks.

“I wasn’t impressed then, and I’m even less impressed now,” Dipper said.

Bud Gleeful starts playing the piano and Gideon starts singing his song.

Gideon: Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!

Crowd, including Soos and the twins, rises, seemingly unintentionally, and they start to clap along with the beat.

Dipper: Wha—? How did he—?

Eda eyed the screen.

“Something’s wrong here,” she said.

“I feel it too,” Candace added, her arms vibrating.

Gideon predicts things that are completely easy about members of the audience.

The flat looks somehow got flatter.

The song ends, Gideon is sweating and panting and the crowd cheers wildly.

Dipper: (As they exit) Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous.

There were a few snickers while Stan sent Dipper a look that made him chuckle nervously.

Mabel: Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!

“Not really,” all the Fireside Girls said.

Dipper: You're too easily impressed.

Mabel: Yeah, yeah!

As the twins walk away laughing, neither of them notice that Gideon was peeking out from the tent and watching them. Almost as if he's curiously focus on something, or someone.

“I don’t like where this is going,” Luz said.

Next day at the Mystery Shack. Mabel goes up to Dipper, her face is bedazzled with sequins.

Mabel: Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bezazzled my face! Blink! (She blinks as she says this and some of the sequins fly off her face) Ow.

Dipper: Is that permanent?

Mabel: I'm unappreciated in my time…

“I bet we could help you pull that off. Right, Ferb?” Phineas asked his brother.

Ferb nodded.

“Thank you!” Mabel beamed.

The doorbell rings.

Stan: Somebody answer that door!

Mabel: I'll get it!

She goes to get the door. She opens it up but there is no one there. Mabel then looks down and finds Gideon.

Gideon: Howdy.

Mabel: It's "wittle ol'" you!

Gideon: (Laughs nervously) Yeah, my song's quite catchy. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head.

Mabel groaned as she hid her face in her sweater. This caused Eda, Wendy, Luz, Anne, Candace and Stacy to share worried looks.

Stan: (Offscreen) Who's at the door?

Mabel: No one, Grunkle Stan!

Gideon: I appreciate your discretion. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet.
Mabel: Gideon! Aha ha!

“It’s ‘cause she’s tough like me, you little weirdo!” Stan shouted.

“Hey! Don’t call him that. That’s not fair to weirdos like me!” Luz exclaimed.

Stan conceded to the point.
Gideon: What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more. Perhaps in my dressing room?

The teens and adults narrowed their eyes at him.

“What was that?” Anne asked angrily.

Mabel: Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!

Cut to inside Gideon's house. Gideon opens the door to his dressing room and Mabel is given a makeover before returning to the Mystery Shack.

There were sighs of relief.
Mabel: Hey Dipper. What's goin' oooon? (Dangles manicured fingernails over Dipper's head)
Dipper: Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine.
Mabel: I know, right?

She roars and pretends to scratch something.

“And you are workin’ it! You fell right at home where we’re from,” Eda grinned.

Mabel moved her sweater from her face to show Eda a smile.

Mabel: I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man.
Dipper: Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head.

“You seem cool though!” Dipper quickly told Eda, who was glaring at him.

Mabel: Oh, leave him alone! You never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time!
Dipper: What do you mean?
Soos: (Enters) Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
Dipper: (Excitedly:) Am I!

They both run off while Mabel stands there.
Dipper chuckled sheepishly while Soos had no shame.

Cut to Mabel and Gideon on the roof of a warehouse.
Mabel: Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts! Good thing we both brought our—
Mabel & Gideon: —Opera glasses! (Point their opera glasses at each other and laugh)
Gideon: Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!

Gideon then asks her out on a date while touching her hair, making her uncomfortable.

“This kid is a creep,” Candace said.

Mabel is uncomfortably pressured into saying yes.

Gideon: Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world! (Hugs Mabel)

Mabel: Are you sniffing my hair?

“Okay, that is an immediate red flag,” Luz said.

Mabel just whimpered sadly.

Note to self: Do not sniff Ivy’s hair unless she’s okay with it, Sprig thought.

Back at Mystery Shack, Mabel and Dipper are playing a video game.

Mabel: It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone.

Dipper: Mabel, guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you.

“If only it were that easy,” Isabella crossed her arms and huffed.

Dipper and the Fireside Girls patted her on the back.

Doorbell rings, Mabel goes to answer door only to be greeted by a horse busting through it with Gideon riding. Mabel screams in fright.

“That’s what happened to my door?! Well, I’ll be sending bud the bill then!” Stan shouted.

Gideon: A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!

Mabel: Oh boy.

“It’s okay to say no to someone,” Eda said gently.

“I know that now. But I had to learn it the hard way,” Mabel groaned.

Cut to an aquatic themed restaurant, and then to the interior. Mabel and Gideon are sitting together at a booth.

“Have to admit, it’s a nice restaurant,” Stacy conceded.

“Nah, my brothers built a better one,” Candace responded.

Mabel: I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!

Gideon: Well, people have a hard time saying no to me. (Puts feet up on table)

“Spoiled little brat,” Eda mumbled.

Cut to the Mystery Shack gift shop, where Stan is looking at a newspaper article showing a picture of Gideon and Mabel together.

“You look really uncomfortable,” Luz said with sympathy.

Mabel just looked away from everyone.

Eda sighed.

“Well, here I go.” The Owl Lady then hefted the Pines girl up and rocked her in her arms. “Rock. Rock. Maternal gesture.”

Stan: Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?

Wendy: Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight.

Stan: WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great niece!?

Soos: I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel? (Gasps)Magidbeleon!

“That would sound like a cool name if he wasn’t a total creep,” Anne said.
Dipper: I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to.
Stan: Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now! (Slams door)

The audience grinned. Finally, someone with sense was gonna put a stop to Mabel’s problem.
Soos: Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door? (Opens the door) Nope. Real door.

“That would have been funny,” King snickered.

“Thanks, dude.”

Stan drives his car up to Gideon's house and skids to a halt in front. He then marches to the front door angrily.

Bud: (Opens the door) Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!

Stan: Out of the way Bud, I'm looking for Gideon!

Bud: Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee! (Pulls Stan inside)

Stan: But-but I came-

Bud: It's imported! All the way from Colombia!

“Please tell me you’re not gonna let him bribe you with lavish gifts?” Milly begged.

Stan said nothing.

Stan: Wow... I went to jail there once.

“You were in a Colombian prison? Ouch!” Heinz winced.

“I’m not surprised,” Anne said.

Stan: (Whistles)Some digs you got here. (Sees clown painting) Oh, this. This is beautiful.

“Well, it certainly is a nice painting,” Hop Pop praised.

Bud: Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony lately so to speak!

Stan: Uh, yeah, and I'm against it. Nyah. (Knocks a pillow off the couch)

“Yeah, you tell him, Pines!” Eda cheered, still rocking Mabel.

Stan started to chuckle and sweat.

Bud explains that he sees this as a chance to merge their businesses.

Stan: (Clicks a cash register) I'm listening.

Everyone was giving Stan the stink eye.

“Aw, come on, man!” Anne exclaimed.

“Really?! I mean really?!” Candace added.

Wendy shook her head at him.

“Wow, that’s low, even for me,” Heinz said.

“Hey, I thought the two of them were actually going somewhere! And at the time, my biggest problem with Gideon was that he was stealing my business,” Stan defended himself.

Cut back to Gideon and Mabel in The Club.
Gideon: ...And so I said "Autograph your own head shot lady." (Laughs)
Mabel: (Nervously laughs) Yeah... (The lobster on her plate pinches her fork)

The audience sighed in sympathy.

Gideon: Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!

“Excuse me?” Polly growled.

Mabel: Whoa whoa, you said just one date, and this was it.

Gideon: Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!

The macaw flew down towards their booth and lands on Gideon. Causing Mabel to scream and grab hold of her lobster.

Gideon: ...two three four...

Macaw: MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY.

Gideon: (Shakes it violently)

Macaw: THURSDAY! (Coughs up a letter and flies away)

The audience blinked.

“…Well, that’s disturbing,” Heinz noted.

Gideon uses the crowd to pressure Mabel into saying yes.

“Why that little sh…” Eda began before she was off by a glare from the teens, who were covering the kids’ ears.

Cut back to the Shack. Dipper asks how the date went.

Mabel: BLAARRGG! (Flails arms) He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no.

“Oh, Mabel,” Stacy said with pity.

Dipper: Like this: no.

Mabel: It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend slash little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends.

“I don’t think that what he ever wanted,” Hopediah sighed.

Out at night in the middle of the lake. Old man McGucket is rowing a boat with Gideon and Mabel in it.
McGucket: Boat in the night! Boat in the night! (Laughs)
Mabel: Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right?
Gideon: (Leans in) Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?
Mabel: (Recoils) NO! I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend...
McGucket: Pal?
Mabel: I already said pal, uh, mate?
Gideon: How about soul mate?
Fireworks appear that show the name "Mabel" within a heart.

“This kid does not know how to take a hint,” Eda groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose while holding Mabel with her other arm.

McGucket: Well, you can't say no to that.

“Aw, come on, McGucket!” Stan complained.

Mabel looks freaked out.

Mabel continued to hide her face in her sweater while in Eda’s arms. The Witch then looked down at her with a smirk.

“You wanna play with the dog?” she whispered.

“…Yeah,” Mabel answered.

Eda then set her back down and placed King in her arms. The Pines girl held him tightly.

“Weh?! Eda-!”

“She needs this,” his mother cut in.

King sighed and sagged in Mabel’s arms.

“I know.”

“Thanks, Grauntie Eda.”

Eda was about to correct her but couldn’t find it in herself to do it. So she just smiled at the girl and patted her head.

Cut back to the Shack, where Mabel is pacing.

Mabel: ..I mean, he's so nice, but.. I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. (Shouts) I have no way out!

The others lost track of how many times they’d frowned in sympathy.

Dipper: (Enters) What in the heck happened on that date?

Mabel: I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!

Dipper: Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon.

Stan: (Enters) Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!

Everyone was glaring at Stan.

“I thought she actually liked the little runt! So I saw it as a win-win! And this wasn’t her first boyfriend, so how was I supposed to know she was uncomfortable?”

“That still doesn’t make it okay,” Luz argued.

“I know,” Stan sighed.

Hop Pop began to sweat, remembering how he’d done the exact same thing to Sprig.

Stan: It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt. (Gestures to his "Team Gideon" shirt) Ugh, I am fat.

Mabel Screams and runs out of the room.

Stan: (Calling after her:) Bodies change, honey! Bodies change…

The audience couldn’t help but laugh.

Dipper walks into the attic and sees Mabel hiding in her sweater
Dipper: Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you.

“Dipper, no,” Isabella said, slapping her face. “That never works out.”

Mabel: (Playfully punches and hugs Dipper) Oh, thank you thank you thank you!
Cut to The Club, where Gideon is sitting in a booth awaiting Mabel. Dipper enters, approaches Gideon and clears his throat.
Gideon: Oh. Dipper Pines, how are you? You look good, you look good.
Dipper: Thanks, you uh... Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore. (Laughs nervously) She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense.
Gideon: (Eye twitches) So what you're sayin' is... you've...come between us. (Eye twitches again)

Dipper: You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?
Gideon: Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know.

“He’s totally freaking out,” Anne said.

Dipper: So. Okay. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but uh, hey, thumbs up. Huh? (Backs away)
Gideon: (In a whisper:) Thumbs up indeed, my friend.

Everyone shivered.

“I don’t think even I can put a positive spin on this,” Phineas admitted.

Cut to the exterior of the restaurant, where Mabel is waiting for Dipper, who then exits the restaurant.

Mabel: How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?

Dipper: Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers.

Cut to Gideon's bedroom later on at night.
Gideon: (Breathing heavily) Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done! (Grabs his amulet and a candle starts to levitate and the light bulbs on his boudoir explode. Other things in the room begin to levitate) You've just made the biggest mistake of your life! (Throws the levitated objects on the ground)

Everyone’s eyes widened at the scene.

“He’s actually psychic?!” Sprig exclaimed.

“No, look. It only happens when he touches that amulet,” Candace pointed out.

“He’s still dangerous,” Anne said.

Eda eyed the amulet. Was it from the Demon Realm.

Bud: (Opening the door) Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!
Gideon: I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!
Bud: ...Fair enough. (Closes door)

“He’s a bad parent,” Hopediah said.

Gideon looks at a picture of Dipper and Mabel and burns away Dipper's side of the picture. As the screen cuts to black again.

There were some gulps.

“The kid scares me,” Eda admitted.

Cut to Soos and the twins outside. Soos tucks a pillow under his shirt.

Soos: Hit me, dude!

The twins charge at Soos' stomach and bounce off, laughing.

The audience snickered despite how tense they were feeling.

Mabel: I'm so glad everything's back to normal!

Telephone rings.

Mabel: Your turn.

Dipper: (Finishing the sentence about a second after Mabel:) Your turn. Aw, man... (Answers phone)Hello?

Toby Determined says over the phone that he’d like to interview Dipper, who immediately accepts.

Dipper sighed. Looking back it was obvious how he’d been played.

Cut to Toby Determined's residence. Toby hangs up the phone.

Toby Determined: There. I did your dirty work. Now it's time you pay YOUR end of the bargain!

Gideon throws Toby a slip of paper.

Toby Determined: Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!

“That poor woman. She needs to file a restraining order,” Luz said.

Cut to 412 Gopher Road. Dipper opens the warehouse door.

Dipper: (Voice echoing:) Hello?

Dipper turns to leave, only for the door to slam shut. He bangs on the door and turns around when lights start turning on. Gideon swerves around in a swivel chair, petting a doll of himself.
“He’s got the biggest ego I’ve ever seen,” Adyson said.

The two argue about Mabel before Gideon starts throwing him around with his amulet, much to Dipper’s shock.

Many of them shrieked in fright.

“Bad Evil! Bad Evil! Bad Evil!” Doof cried out in fright.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, dude. I thought Evil was your thing?” Soos questioned.

“There’s not one type of evil. There’s Good Evil and then there’s Bad Evil. Good Evil has restraint and involves pettiness or being a crook like this guy,” he gestured to Stan. “Bad Evil is stuff like this. It also includes genocide.” Heinz shivered. “That right there is a big no for me.”

Luz, Anne and Candace adopted contemplative expressions.

Mabel outside of the Mystery Shack, thinking and chewing on her hair.

Wendy: (Walks outside and sits next to Mabel) How's that hair tastin', buddy?

Mabel: Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?

Wendy: Oh yeah: Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson...

Mabel: I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross.

Wendy: ...Mike Worley, Nate Holt, oh, that guy with the tattoos...

Mabel: Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break up.

Wendy: ...Danny Feldman, Mark Epston... Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me.

Mabel: I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendy. (Runs to get a bike and rides off on it)

Wendy: (Takes out her ringing cell phone) Ignore.

Wendy winced at her past actions.

“Sorry Mabel. I really messed up there, didn’t I?”

“It’s okay, Wendy,” Mabel said with a small smile. “Ooh, you’re so cute!” she cooed at King. She ran her hands along his fur. “And so fluffy!”

King sighed.

Is this my life? Being treated like a pet to faun over? I’m practically a god, and this is the best they can think of? Is this all I’m good for?

Eda smirked at the redhead.

“You’re a real heartbreaker, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p.’

The two shared a high-five.

Dipper is running away from the merchandise being thrown at him. Gideon laughs evilly and moves a cabinet to smash Dipper. Dipper jumps out of the way and hits his head on the wall.

Dipper: Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!

“I can’t believe I agree,” Anne said.

Dipper: She's never gonna date you, man!

Gideon: That's a lie. (Looks at a box of lamb shears)And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend. (Levitates the lamb shears)

The audience gasped.

Mabel: (Runs to the window from outside and sees Dipper and Gideon. Opens door) Gideon! We have to talk!

Gideon: M-Mabel. My marshmalla. (Drops the shears)What are you doin' here?

Mabel: I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself.

The others smiled, happy to see that Mabel was finally taking a stand.
Mabel: Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?

“This is another trick, isn’t it? Like what you did with the gnomes,” Isabella grinned.

“I’m not saying anything,” Mabel said cryptically.

Gideon: Really?

Mabel: No, not really! (Pulls off Gideon's amulet and Dipper falls) You were like, attacking my brother, what the heck?!

“Yeah, that’s her job!” Polly and King said together, surprising them both. The two then smiled at each other.

“Great minds think alike,” King praised.

Gideon: My tie! Give it back! (Mabel throws the amulet to Dipper)

Dipper: Ha! (Catches it) Not so powerful without this, are you?

Gideon Screams and charges at Dipper, making him drop the amulet and breaking through the window.

Everyone screamed, momentarily forgetting Dipper was safely there.

Mabel: Dipper!

Dipper and Gideon scream. Gideon slaps Dipper and the two start slapping each other and then start screaming again. Mabel, who is holding the mystic amulet, levitates the two of them and then floats down.

“You have magic, Mabel!” Luz gasped.

“That’s gonna be super useful later,” Anne added.

“Um…” Mabel trailed off.

Mabel: Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you.

Dipper: Yeah!

There were claps and cheers from the audience.

Mabel drops them and throws the amulet to the ground, breaking it.

“Wha- why?!” Luz exclaimed.

“I didn’t think it was a good idea to keep it around,” Mabel answered.

“Regardless, we learned later that that amulet actually damages your soul the more you use it,” Dipper added.

The others blinked.

“Oh…well, good thing you got rid of it,” Jeremy said.

Gideon: MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me! (Walks into the dark forest)
“Please tell me that’s the last you’ll see of him?” Phineas begged.

“I would, but I don’t want to lie to you,” Mabel said.

Cut to the Gleeful residence.
Stan: (Finishes signing papers) Ah, this is livin', brother. (Knocks on the clown painting)
Bud: From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings. (Gideon storms in; to Gideon:) Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I—
Gideon: (Stands on the coffee table) Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!
Stan: Rebuke? Is that a word?

“It is,” Baljeet answered.

Gideon: The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!

Stan: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?

The theater couldn’t help but chuckle.

Bud: Apbap bap but-but sunshine? (Laughs nervously) What about our arrangement with Mabel and—

Gideon: SILENCE!

Bud: Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his rages again. Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one. (Rips up the contract)

“He’s so spineless,” Candace judged.

No one argued.

Stan: Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted. (Grabs the clown painting and starts to leave)

Bud: Stan, I'm-I'm sorry but I'm gonna need that painting back! Stan? STAN!

Stan: (Running away) TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!

Everyone laughed. Eda actually fell out of her seat.

Cut back to the Mystery Shack, where Stan is hanging up the clown painting and the twins are a mess.

Stan: I coulda had it all.

“Well, maybe you can?” Heinz smirked.

“Huh? What are you talkin’ about?” Stan asked.

“You are a crafty businessman. I am a brilliant engineer. Together we’d be the ultimate partners!”

A cash register went off in Pines’ head.

“I’m listening.”

Heinz wrapped an arm around Stan’s shoulders.

“I propose that we expand the Mystery Shack to have a new location in the Tri-State-Area!” he said, waving his hand high at the last three words.

“Hmm…a second Mystery Shack…what would I have to do?”

“All you’d have to do is give good business ideas. I’ll build the -inators, merchandise and exhibits that will make us money. The Shack will be run by a competent employee.”

“I don’t know. Sounds like all I’d need to do is talk, wouldn’t have to do any real work- I’m just kidding! Let’s do it!” The two immediately shook hands and grinned. “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Dipper and Perry shared a nervous look.

“Should we be worried right now?” the young Pines asked.

The monotreme shrugged with uncertainty.

He looks at the twins) What the heck happened to you two?

Mabel: Gideon.

Dipper: Gideon.

Stan: Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant "swore vengeance" on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'.

Dipper: Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of? (Laughs)

The audience laughed.

Mabel: He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a negative number.

“You think of negative numbers?!” Baljeet beamed. He then toned it down upon seeing the chastising look Ginger sent his way.

The three Pines laugh at their thoughts on Gideon's next attempt of psychic abilities.

The audience kept laughing.

In Gideon's room. He's making dolls of the Pines family

Gideon: (Playing with the Mabel doll:) Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way.

The audience shivered.

I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be scarier than Susie, Candace thought.

Mabel hugged King tightly. The little Titan, now terrified, reciprocated the gesture completely.

Gideon: (Picks up the Stan doll and imitates Stan:)Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly.

Gideon: (Finishes the Dipper doll; mocking Dipper:)Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?

“He’s gonna grow up to be a serial killer,” Polly bluntly stated.

No one had the energy to chastise her.

Gideon: (Regular voice:) Oh you'll see boy... (Closes Journal 2) You'll see…

Everyone in the other groups’ jaws dropped.

“He has another Journal?!” Sprig exclaimed.

“This is bad. This is really bad,” Luz said.

“How many of these things are there?!” Candace asked.
“Perhaps since we appear to be counting down, three is the maximum number,” Ferb hypothesized.

Everyone looked to Dipper for the answer.

“I can neither confirm or deny that statement.”

The other groups just groaned.

Cut to end credits with Dipper, Mabel and Soos. Mabel turns Soos into a crystal ball.

Stan: You're all fired.

The audience laughed, grateful for the break from the tense scene.

FDUOD, ZKB ZRQ'W BRX FDOO PH?

Dipper once again wrote down the code.

“So…that was a lot,” Luz summed up, trying to keep a calm face

“You’re telling me. That kid really gave me the creeps,” Doofenshmirtz shivered. “Bad Evil.”

“How you feeling, kido?” Stan asked his niece, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Mabel sighed and put King down.

“I’m okay. It wasn’t fun to relive that, but I had all of you with me, and I think it helped,” she answered, giving a small smile.

The others smiled back.

“How about we take a quick break? You could all use it after that episode. Have some more food, lie down, do whatever. The Amphibia episodes should be much easier to deal with.”

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“Pruh wkdq brxu khduw fdq wdnh.”

“…Zhoo, wkdw'v ghsuhvvlqj.”

Chapter 5: It's A Froggy Frog World: Part 1

Chapter Text

“Oh, Stacy! Great job realizing it was the wax figures,” Candace praised her best friend. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it first.”

“Aw, it’s nothing, Candyrocks,” Stacy waved off with a smile. Then she frowned. “I did lose a bet though. Alright, what do I owe you?”

Wendy shrugged.

“Just a favor when I want one.”

“Alright.”

The two shook on it.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Perry frowned as they watched Stan and Heinz converse.

“…And that’s how you commit tax fraud and don’t get caught,” Stan explained.

“Wow, I had no idea it was that simple. Thank you!” Doof said, taking notes.

“You’re welcome!”

“We’re gonna have to intervene,” Dipper sighed.

Perry nodded in agreement.

Anne was glaring at the elder Pines.

“I don’t know how to feel about him.”

“We’ll keep an eye on him, Anne. But I think it’s just a big coincidence. Nothing more,” Hop Pop argued.

On the other end of the room, King somehow ended up back in Mabel’s arms and had a resting deadpan.

“Are you gonna let go anytime soon?”

“Uh uh,” she answered, nuzzling into his fluff.

The young Clawthorne just sighed.

I don’t care if he sounds like Bill anymore. He’s so darn cute!

Luz and Eda chuckled.

“You didn’t correct her when she called you Grauntie,” Luz pointed out with a smirk.

Eda shrugged.

“Oh, she was hurting and I didn’t want to add to that. Besides, it has a nice ring to it.”

“Well, everyone, here we go. Time to watch the adventures from Amphibia,” the host announced.

Anne Or Beast

Intro plays

“The heck kind of a music box is that?!” Wendy questioned.

“Uh…spoiler?” Anne said.

Everyone groaned.

“So you and your friends were stuck in another world?” Phineas asked.

Wally leaves Stumpy’s Dinner and walks through the woods playing his accordion while humming. He hears loud rustling caused by a mysterious creature that scares Wally.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Dipper asked.

Anne shrugged.

Cut to the village inhabitants going about their daily lives. One of them gets carried off by a dragonfly.

“Is he gonna be okay?”Luz asked worriedly.

“Surprisingly, yes,” Hop Pop answered.

The Plantars drive in on Bessie.

“You guys ride snails?” Mabel beamed.

“Yes,” Sprig said.

“That is so cool!” Phineas praised.

Hop Pop: All right, kids I'm gonna do a little shoppin'. You watch the cart.

Sprig: You got it, Hop Pop! I'll defend this cart with my LIIIIIIIFE! (says life while pounding his chest.)

Hop Pop: Sprig, I was talking to Polly.

The audience laughed while the frog boy crossed his arms and grumbled

Sprig: What? Polly's a baby!

Polly: (points at Sprig) You're a baby!

Hop Pop: Polly's got more responsibility in her little flipper than you have in your entire body!

“Ohoho! Burn!” Wendy laughed.

Sprig: Ridiculous. What makes you think I'm irresponsible?

Montage of Sprig acting irresponsible plays.

“Oof! No offense, dude, but this doesn’t look good,” Soos said.

“I know,” Sprig admitted.

Sprig: Okay. So yesterday was a bad day.

“Yesterday?!” everyone exclaimed.

Hop Pop heads into the Grub N’ Go, leaving Polly incharge. Sprig wishes he could prove he’s not a goofoff.

“I’m sorry, Sprig,” Hop Pop sighed.

“It’s okay, Hop Pop.”

Wally comes in screaming.

Mayor Toadstool: Now, simmer down Wally. Just tell us what you saw.

“What the heck? He sounds just like Bud Gleeful,” Stan said, perplexed.

“Oh my gosh, you’re right,” Mabel added.

“Weird,” Luz added.

Wally: Oh, it was horrifying. It had a huge head, A weird, stubby bump right in the middle of its face and long spindly limbs!

“Oh come on, Wally. My head’s not that big, and my limbs aren’t that long,” Anne grumbled.

“How old are you?” Dipper asked.

“Thirteen, why?”

“Because Mabel and I are too. And you are weirdly taller than us.”

“Or maybe you guys are weirdly short?” she argued.

“No, you’re weirdly tall. All of us here will be thirteen in a few months, and were the same height as Dipper and Mabel,” Baljeet explained, gesturing to his friends.

“…Huh.”

The townsfolk are terrified.

Mayor Toadstool: We better catch this beast before it hurts somebody. Because for Mayor Toadstool, your safety comes first.

“Politicians,” Eda and Wendy grumbled before sharing a fist bump.

Sprig vows to capture the monster.

Polly: (Puts one of her flippers up.) Stop right there! Hop Pop said that you had to stay in this cart. (She flexes her muscles.) You know you can't take me!

Some blinked while others laughed.

“Dang, girls! Your bicep gain is awesome!” Luz praised.

“Thanks!”

“This is the most intimidating baby I’ve ever seen,” Doof said.

Perry looked at the tadpole in intrigue.

Sprig offers her candy.

Polly: Bribe accepted!

She starts eating the candy like Pac-Man.

The audience laughed while Hop Pop just sighed.

Sprig: Let the monster hunt begin!

He goes into the forest.

Polly: Don't die!

“He’s not gonna last long,” King deadpanned, causing Polly to laugh.

Cut down to Sprig . He is running along in a forest. He pops out of a log. He then readies a slingshot, then looks down and gasps.

Sprig: Seems like the beast roams these parts. Probably a good place for a tra-aaAAAAHHH!

He is caught in a rope trap and flies into the air. He then falls back down, hanging upside down.

“Knew it,” King said.

Sprig grumbled incoherently.

The beast steps out from behind some bushes, and it's revealed to be... a disheveled human girl. She is panting and holding a pointed stick.

“Wait, how long have you been out there?” Luz asked worriedly.

“Oh, uh…two weeks.”

“Two weeks?!” everyone exclaimed.

Sprig: Giant head! Spindly limbs! Face bump! THE BEEEEAASST!

“Are we really that horrifying to you?”

Anne: Stop following me.

Sprig: I have bad news for you, beast! I taste terrible!

There were some chuckles.

“Does that ever actually work?” Candace wondered.

“Well, it wouldn’t work on cajuns,” Stan said casually.

“What are cajuns and why not?” Sprig asked.

“Do not answer that!” Anne yelled, sending Pines a glare.

“Alright, alright! Sheesh!”

Anne: (puts stick down) Ew, I am not gonna eat you.

Sprig: You tried to eat Wally!

Anne: I tried to ask "Wally" (while doing air quotes) for help. He ran off screaming the second he saw me!

Sprig says that sounds like Wally.

“Well, this is resolving pretty easily,” Eda commented.

A monster-sounding screech is heard. Trees start falling over.

“What was that?!” The kids exclaimed.

“Of course there’s danger. There’s always danger,” Candace sighed.

Anne runs, leaving Sprig. But then she changes her mind and goes back to cut him loose.

The audience sighed in relief.

“Had me worried there for a second,” Luz said.

Anne and Sprig duck under a log. The monster- a giant red mantis- passes by.

Dipper drew a sketch of it in his journal.

“Huh. So, is everything in your world a giant version of animals in our world?” Mabel asked.

“Probably? That sounds about right,” Anne answered.

“Though Amphibia is just one continent. The rest of the world hasn’t been explored yet,” Hopediah continued.

“Just imagine it! So many new places to see! It’d be the adventure of a lifetime!” Sprig cheered.

Sprig and Anne gasp and fall to the ground.

Sprig: You... you saved me! You're not a beast at all! You're a hero! An ugly, ugly, ugly hero!

Anne: Call me ugly again, and maybe I will eat you.

The audience laughed and smiled at the interaction.

“Are we really that ugly to you?” Wendy questioned.

“Definitely/Oh absolutely/Yep,” the Plantars said over each other.

They introduce themselves and shake hands, covering Anne’s in slime.

“Ew,” Stacy complained.

Her stomach grumbles.

Anne: Okay, "Sprig". You got anything to eat?

He lifts up a section of the log. Bugs are crawling around underneath.

“Oh my gosh, look at all those bugs!” someone from the Owl House room screamed.

“Who was that?” Anne asked.

“You’ll meet him later,” Luz said.

“Unfortunately,” King added flatly.

Anne: Things that aren't bugs...?

“What have you been eating then?” Eda asked worriedly.

“Any fruits or vegetables I could find.”

“You must have been starving!” Doof exclaimed.

“…A little bit…”

Everyone sent the girl horrified looks.

Sprig: No bugs, eh? (he eats a bug.) We'll have to hunt around a bit. (he runs off.) C'mon! Follow me!

Anne: How do I know I can trust you?

Sprig: Whaaat? (he makes a cutesy face.) Does this look like a face that could deceive you?

“Nope,” Mabel chirped. “You’re way too adorable.”

Anne concedes to his point and they run off.

Everyone smiled.

Hop Pop returns to see Toadstool rallying a mob.

Mayor Toadstool: Now, when I say "kill," you say "it." Kill!

Villager: It!

Mayor Toadstool: Kill!

Villagers: It!

“This…could be bad,” Dipper said nervously.

Hop Pop: Heh. Another day another mob.

“I’m sorry, you mean to tell us this is normal?” Isabela questioned incredulously.

“Amphibia is complicated,” Hop Pop said.

Hop Pop: Come on kids, time to- What the?!?

He finds a bloated Polly, who sees him.

Polly: I don't have a candy problem! You have a candy problem!

The audience laughed while Hop Pop just sighed.

Anne and Sprig eat some food they found.

Sprig: Mm-hmm. So, first question: What the heck are you, and where did you come from?!

Anne: I'm a human being and I come from...(Shouts) another world! (Stops shouting) Either that, or this is a dream.

“I’m glad it wasn’t a dream,” Anne said, smiling at her frog family.

“Anne…” Sprig began but couldn’t continued because of his tears.

The three then pulled the human girl into a warm embrace.

“Awe~! What a beautiful found-family!” Luz gushed.

Sprig asks if she knows how she got here.

Anne: Nope. One minute, I was in my world and the next thing I knew I was here. I don't know how to get home (sits on rock next to Sprig) or if I even can go home.

Luz frowned in sympathy and sent Anne a compassionate smile.

Anne: So, yup, that's my story. How 'bout you? What were you doing in the woods?

Sprig: Proving that I'm responsible!

Anne: Oh, yeah? How?

Sprig: Uhhhhh…

“And here comes the awkwardness,” Dipper said.

The villagers arrive and tie up Anne.

“Yep. I knew this was gonna happen,” King nodded.

Anne: Dude, what the heck? You set me up? I thought we were connecting!

Sprig: N-no, no, no! This wasn't my plan.

Sprig just bowed his head and sighed.

A giant green praying mantis attacks.

“How many of these things are there?!” Stacy exclaimed.

“A lot,” Polly answered.

The frogs get into the “formation.”

“Is that…is that really supposed to work?” Dipper deadpanned.

The mantis walks away.

The frogs: We have power!

“Who wants to bet that it was something else?” Eda asked.

A red praying mantis arrives. It’s larger than the green one.

Polly: Nope. that scared it off.

Hop Pop: Yeah, that makes more sense.

The audience couldn’t help the snorts that followed..

The mantis attacks.

Villager: It’s gonna eat us!

“Is everyone gonna be okay?” Luz asked.

“They’ll be fine. This is actually pretty normal,” Sprig answered.

“Normal?!” the other groups exclaimed.

“How is this world even habitable?!” Baljeet questioned.

The frogs just shrugged, not knowing the answer.

Anne: NO! Huh? (Sprig is untying her) What is this, another trick?

“Sorry, Sprig,” Anne winced.

“It’s okay, Anne. I should have told you about the mob sooner.”

Sprig denies it and distracts the mantis.

“Yeah! Show that mantis who’s boss!” Wendy cheered.

The mantis is about to kill Sprig.

“Nevermind.”

Anne attacks the mantis, saving Sprig. Her eyes glow blue.

“Yeah! Way to go, Anne,” the others cheered.

Anne was too busy staring at the screen to hear them.

My powers were showing even then?

The two tie up the mantis, defeating it.

The audience cheered and clapped for the pair, who then stood up and took a bow.

Sprig high-fives Anne with his tongue, much to her disgust.

“Heh heh. That’s actually kinda cool,” Soos chuckled.

Mayor Toadstool: Well, now that that's settled, what the heck are we gonna do with this thing? Maybe we oughta run it out of town just to be safe. Let it be someone else's problem.

“Are you kidding me?!” the teens and adults shouted angrily.

“But she helped them? Why?” Phineas questioned.

“People can react badly to things they don’t understand,” Luz explained. Belos was proof enough of that.

Sprig: (Blocks Anne from the villagers) Stop right there! She's not a monster. She's just lost and needs our help. We should take care of her.

The townsfolk are reluctant until Hop Pop agrees to keep an eye on them.

“Best decision I ever made,” Hop Pop said fondly.

Sprig: (holds his arm and looks at Hop Pop, expecting a scolding) Looks like I'm back to causing trouble for the family again, huh?

Hop Pop: (Looks at Sprig, smiling) Trouble? Sprig, standing up to that angry mob to help this creature out was... Some of the bravest and most responsible stuff I've ever seen!

“Hey, looks like you did prove yourself. Congrats, kid,” Jeremy said.

Polly: (Atop Hop Pop's head) That was pretty cool, Sprig. It was also really dumb!

Hop Pop: Yes. Really, really dumb.

The audience chuckled.

Sprig: (Gasps in amazement) You think I'm responsible?

Hop Pop tries to make Sprig understand he meant something else, while Spring enthuses and Anne checks her phone.

Hop Pop: Well, yeah, I mean, just this one time…

Sprig does his victory dance.

The kids and teens all snickered while the adults rolled their eyes fondly at the frog boy’s antics.

Anne: Welp, this has been great, but just give me a map. I've gotta find my way out of this kooky place.

Hop Pop: Oh, a map won't be enough. (Gets out map) This here valley is surrounded by mountains that are impenetrable this time of year.

Polly bluntly says she’ll die if she tries to cross them right now.

“Oof. Yeah, I’d listen to the baby if I were you,” Eda said.

“I’m not a baby! I’m six!” Polly yelled fiercely.

Anne freaks out and worries about where she’ll stay.

Cut to Plantar Farm.

“Woah! Your house is a giant log!” Mabel said, amazed.

“That is so cool!” Phineas praised.

Ferb nodded in agreement.

Sprig: Hey! Gettin' comfy? (Tosses some plushies on ground) Brought some toys to keep you company. I'm too old for these. O-oh, except for this one. Oh, and this one. Oops, this one too. Sorry. This one as well. I'm glad you're livin' with us, monster.

Anne agrees.

“Found family?” Luz asked.

“Found family,” Anne nodded.

“Same here,” she gestured to her group.

The two fist bumped.

Sprig: Okay. (Starts climbing while dropping one of the plushies) Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Seriously, they can drain a body in seconds.

Silence.

“…Well, that’s terrifying,” Heinz said.

Anne pulls out the Music Box and tries to use it repeatedly to no avail.

Anne: Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.

“The gems are gray now,” Dipper noted.

“They’re probably the power source. So, that means that the box is out of power,” Phineas guessed.

“But powerful enough to travel to other worlds? That’s a really big deal,” Luz emphasized.

“Where’d you even get a thing like that?” Candace questioned.

“Uh…” Anne didn’t know how to tell them that she stole it. “You’ll probably find out,” she said uncomfortably.

“Wait, is Amphibia another planet or dimension?” Heinz asked. “The distinction is important.”

“It’s another dimension,” the host explained. “Now, let's watch the next adventure.”

Best Fronds

Anne is at a thrift store on Earth.

Anne: All right, Anne. You can do this.

“Anne?” Luz asked, worried about what had Anne so nervous.

The Boonchuy girl just curled into a fetal position, not able to look at anyone.

She takes the Music Box, puts it in her backpack, and one of her friends gives a thumbs up from outside as she leaves.

Silence.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Anne said before they could say anything.

At night it goes into the moon, and goes down to Anne and her friends in a park. Suddenly, They open the box and there’s a flash of light. Anne wakes up in the room at the Plantar’s.

Anne: [screams, gasps] Guys, guys, guys. I just had the craziest dream. I was trapped in a world of frog pe-- (turns to find the Plantars looking at her) Oh. (hugs her legs) Right.

The audience frowned in sympathy.

Sprig: Hey, Anne. Sleep good?

Hop Pop: Careful, boy! It could be hungry.

Polly: For your guts!

“Seriously?” Dipper deadpanned.

“Amphibia has a lot of creatures that can kill you,” Hop Pop explained. “We had to be careful.”

“I just wanted a fight,” Polly said bluntly.

Anne: Dude, relax. I am not gonna eat something that clearly doesn't bathe.

Flies buzz around Hop Pop, shown close-up to be incredibly dirty. He eats a fly.

Hop Pop: Fair point.

There were snickers from the other groups while Hop Pop just sighed.

Sprig: See? Told you it was harmless.

Hop Pop: Hmph. For now.

Polly: Just give me an excuse to use old Doris here.

Polly holds a rolling pin.

Anne: I think the little one wants to kill me.

“I like your chaotic energy,” Eda grinned.

“Thank you.”

“Awe, she’s so cut being all violent and stuff,” Mabel gushed.

“Yeah… cute,” Heinz said, eying the tadpole in slight fear.

Sprig: Yup. So, you must be so excited to be trapped in another world. Very jealous. (falls down) Oh!

Luz waved her hand in a so-so gesture.

Anne: [chuckles] It's not all that. I miss my home and my stuff and especially... my friends. Without them, I just feel kind of lost. You know?

The various friend groups looked at each other and gave appreciative smiles.

Sprig offers to be her friend in the meantime. Anne starts listing activities she and her friends did.

Sprig: Oh, we've got a lake. Would going there with me make you feel less homesick?

Anne: (giggling) I like your moxie, frog child. Let's do it!

(In one quick montage, Anne gets ready and emerges from the bathroom wearing swimming attire.)

“Ah, the magic of a good montage,” Luz sighed.

“Can never go wrong with a montage,” Phineas agreed.

Just before they reach the door, Hop Pop stops them.

Hop Pop: And where do you two think you're going?

Sprig: We're going to the lake. (stretches his shorts out, but causes them to snap back) Ooh. Ow.

There were a few snickers.

Hop Pop: Absolutely not! Look, Anne. You're a new, unsettling, strange, bizarre, gangly, horrifying--

Anne: Thanks. I got it.

Sprig, Polly, King and Eda couldn’t hold back their snickers.

“I don’t know if we should feel offended by that,” Candace said.

Hop Pop: Point is, the frogs in this town can be pretty small-minded. (He looks through the blinds at some frogs outside) And paranoid. We just need to give 'em time to get used to ya. I think it's best you stay put.

He locks the door and leaves, much to their protest.

“I mean, he makes a good point, but it’s not healthy to stay cooped up inside,” Dipper said.

“I suppose I was being a bit too strict,” Hopediah sighed. “I just didn’t want this poor girl dealing with a town that was ready to chase her off the day before.”

“And I’m grateful for that, HP,” Boonchuy smiled.

Anne: Ugh! Adults are all the same. Curfews. Rules. Old.

Anne chuckled sheepishly as the adults flatly glared at her.

Sprig: Yeah, looks like we're stuck here. Ooh! I know what'll be fun. Let's try some of Hop Pop's pain peppers. So hot, they'll make you wish you were dead.

Sprig picks one up and eats it. He breathes fire a moment later, runs around, slams a pot on his tongue, then drinks water straight from the tap before falling to the floor.

Sprig: Someone just kill me, please! Bleh. [He plays dead for a second, recovers, and jovially holds out a pepper for Anne.] Your turn.

“Woah!” Phineas exclaimed.

“That’d make a cool achievement for the patches,” Gretchen told the other Fireside Girls, who nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I’m not sure how safe that is for human consumption,” Luz shook her head.

“I don’t know,” King began. “I’d like to be able to breathe fire.”

“I know you would, buddy,” she smiled down at him and petted his skull.

Anne would rather go to the lake.

Anne: Sprig, you wanna know the best thing about friendship? When you got your friends by your side, anything is possible. Whatever you want, a real friend will help you get. And you know what I want?

The audience blinked before exchanging glances. That last part wasn’t… the best view of friendship.

Sprig: The lake!

Anne: Yup. Now let's go rob an old man!

Stan and Eda grinned while the others either blinked or sent Anne weird looks.